Love University with Dr. Alexander Avila

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March 1, 2021

Would you like to be the best lover you can possibly be? Now you can become an ideal lover in every sense of the word: romantically, sexually, and lovingly. You can earn a black belt in the bedroom and become a luscious lover if you follow the advice of our guest on Love University: Jacqueline Hellyer, internationally renowned sex and love expert. During our delightful talk, Jacqueline enlightened us on the seven stages of loving fully and deeply:

*Find your love center.  Take an inventory of the kind of person and lover you are right now.  What do you want in a love relationship?  What do you have to offer? Recognize your strengths—sense of humor, intelligence, compassion, and so forth—and make sure that you respect and appreciate who you are as a human being, and as a lover.

*Engage other people with confidence.  Once you’re aware of your strengths and talents, your next step is to lead with your talents when you interact with others or spend time with your loved one.  If you’re funny, tell jokes and engage in humorous and spicy wordplay to break the ice and show your romantic interest in someone.  If you’re good at arranging sensual and aesthetic details, make sure you create a romantic and sexy environment for you and your love mate, with dim lights, relaxing music, soothing lotions, aromatic fragrances, and tasty morsels.

*Be light and playful. Nothing is sexier than being light-hearted, spontaneous, and playful with your love partner.  Tickle each other, chase each other around the house, and play fun games in which you award prizes to the winner (a kiss, massage). When you have fun and play with your mate like this, you will remember that you are light-hearted spirits who reside in biological bodies.  As you play, you can drop the seriousness and pretentiousness of adult life and enjoy the joy of being alive with your love.

*Offer Empathy:  Empathy is a powerful aphrodisiac.  Empathy means putting yourself in your love partner’s shoes—feeling as they feel.  The truth is that lovemaking doesn’t just start in the bedroom; it begins with empathy in everyday moments. Empathy is the foreplay that sparks romantic attraction and arousal. Lovemaking begins when you make coffee for your partner to help them start their day; when you rub their feet after they’ve had a hard day at work.  When you’re empathetic, you align yourself with your lover’s heart and mind, and they will feel that you truly care about them.  You want what is best for them as they feel the same about you. When a couple has empathy for each other, they will feel more sexual attraction and passion because they know that their love is secure. 

*Seduce your partner. Even if you’ve been married or together for a number of years, it’s important that you keep seducing your partner—romance them like you did when you first met.  Sadly, many people take love for granted. They work at their day job for forty hours per week, and they exercise for several hours per week, but they don’t take even one hour to work on their love relationship—one of the most important contributors to their happiness in life. Decide today that you will keep seducing and romancing your partner just like you did in the honeymoon stage.  Take them to special places, make homemade gifts, please them in the bedroom, show them that you love them in special and creative ways. If you keep seducing your partner, your love and sex life will continue to be strong and satisfying.

*Become a master of love.  Study love in all of its variations. Observe happy couples who have been together a long time and still have that spark in their relationship and love life. Notice the secrets that keep their love strong and apply them to your own love life. Read e-books, and listen to podcasts and videos, about how to have great love and sex. Use what you learn to enhance your own relationship. Keep a journal in which you write down the things that you and your partner enjoy the most in the bedroom. Also, note the romantic adventures that bring both of you the greatest pleasure. Be sure to implement the tips and tactics you have learned on a weekly basis to enhance your sex and love life with your mate.

*Let go of control and surrender to your love. This last phase is the most delicious and the most delicate. Many people are afraid to fully fall in love and surrender their heart to another person. They are too afraid of being hurt. Even if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they still hold back a part of themselves—their trust; their vulnerability—fearful that the other person will end up hurting them. This is the wrong approach. Once you’ve established a sense of security and trust with your love mate, it’s important that you let go of your preconditions and defenses. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with your partner—as they do the same with you—and you will enjoy a wonderfully passionate and sensual relationship that keeps getting better every day.

One of the greatest lessons we can learn is to fuse sexuality, love, and spirituality together into a powerful instrument of joy and happiness. Unfortunately, many people try to separate them. They see sex as either something to be ashamed about, or something to pursue without reservation, until it becomes an obsession or even an addiction. Others see spirituality as a separate holy vehicle for transcendence that doesn’t include carnal or bodily pleasures like sex. In reality, the Higher Nature (God, spirit, energy) created sex for humans, not just to procreate or to experience pleasure, but to bond with each other at the deepest level of spiritual connection. The next time you make love with your partner, think of your lovemaking as a form of spiritual meditation in which you imagine that you and your loved one are floating on clouds as spiritual entities. When you come down from the clouds, you will say to your partner, “Hello, it’s you,” as you recognize that your spiritual natures are inhabiting your bodies. On a regular basis, make it your goal to enjoy the best love, sex, and joy you possibly can with the person you care the most about. When you do this, you will have one of the greatest gifts you can receive during your lifetime on earth. You will experience the joy of loving and being loved—deeply, and without holding anything back.