Love University with Dr. Alexander Avila

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BE LIKE THE SUN: SHINE YOUR LOVING ENERGY AND BREAK THE BONDS OF FEAR AND REGRET

One of the secrets of happiness is to be like the Sun. Shine your loving energy on everyone and everything that comes in your path. Be kind, nice, smile, and help others. Listen attentively to those who are hurting; offer your talents and abilities to lighten the burden of others on this planet of ours.  On Love University, we learned some helpful strategies for extending your loving energy without expectation so you can live happy and achieve your dreams. Here are a few important points:

*Raise Your Love Intelligence. Love intelligence is your ability to empathetic (put yourself in other’s shoes) and compassionate (desire to relieve their suffering). When you have a high Love intelligence, you will attract positive people and circumstances into your life, and you will make a positive difference in the world.

*Be Patient.  Patience is one of the greatest tools of human development. When you are patient with yourself and others, you take the time to savor and appreciate life. You listen more attentively to the needs of others. You are less harsh and judgmental to yourself and others. You have less frustration and regret because you know that all good things come to those who wait.  

*Be Like the Sun Every Day.  On a daily basis, strive to shine your loving energy to others.  Smile at others, pay them sincere compliments, help them with their practical and emotional needs. Do all of this without expecting anything in return, not even a thank you or acknowledgement. When you extend loving energy without expectation, you generate great power and love within yourself. You realize that you have an abundant and ever-flowing resource of love, energy, and creativity that you can give to yourself and others.

Fear and regret hold many people back. You can bypass those self-defeating emotions by extending the true essence of who you are—Love—to the world around you.  You will be like the sun, a powerful source of energy and warmth, to yourself and others. You will clothe yourself with strength and put on the garments of splendor.  You will shake off the dust and free the chains from your neck. You will be Invincible.

EXTENDING LOVING ENERGY WITHOUT EXPECTATION: THE SUCCESS SECRET OF THE AGES

There is an amazing secret of success and happiness within your grasp.  It is called “Extending Loving Energy Without Expectation.” This means that you will be kind, loving, and giving to others without expecting anything in return. When you do this, you will open the floodgates of prosperity and joy as the Universe returns your loving energy many times over.  Follow the steps we learned on Love University to tap into the power of this Invincibility principle:

*Be Like the Sun.  Your goal should be to be like the sun.  The sun shines on everyone and everything. Some people don’t like the sun and cover up; others love the sun and lie out to receive its warmth.  Yet, the sun doesn’t get upset if people don’t like it. It keeps shining. In the same way, you will shine your loving energy on others. You will smile at others, pay them sincere compliments, and help those who need it.  And, you will do this without expecting anything in return. You will be like the sun—extending your loving energy—because you are made of love.

*Be Nice the Right Way. They say that nice people finish last. The truth is that people who are genuinely nice are among the most loved and successful people in the world. The key is to be the right kind of nice. If you’re nice to yourself and not to others, you will be selfish. If you’re nice to others and not yourself, you will be a self-sacrificial martyr. If you are genuinely nice to yourself and others—not because you want anything from them—then you will be kind and caring, as well as genuine and strong.  A truly nice person is not a pushover.  They respect and take care of themselves and others.  They can be firm when they need to be, and they are loving because that is the essence of their nature.

Be Like a Dog.  Many people love dogs because dogs give loving energy without expectation.  They always want to play with you, jump on you, and lick you. You can learn valuable lessons of how to love and be loved by observing the dog.  Dogs are always interested in others, live daily with enthusiasm, and want to do something nice for their owners (bring them slippers, or cuddle when their owner is sad). You can follow the dog example by listening attentively to others, maintaining a positive attitude, and displaying empathy for other people—putting yourself in their shoes and feeling as they feel.

You can access the power of Loving Without Expectation in your daily life.  You just need to be like the sun, be nice the right way, and be like a dog.  When you follow these simple principles, you will unleash tremendous loving energy within yourself that will reverberate throughout the world—healing, helping, and loving others—as you build a legacy of love and goodness that lasts beyond your time on earth.

THE POWER OF SPONTANEITY: RESTART YOUR ENTHUSIASM, LOVE, AND JOY IN THE NEW YEAR

Are you feeling stressed out, worried, and hurried in our busy and demanding world? Would you like to experience the feeling of  having more spontaneity, fun, and leisure in your life? People who tap into their spontaneous side are usually healthier, live longer, are more creative, and enjoy life more. Now you can increase your spontaneity and sense of playfulness by following some of the simple tips we discussed on Love University:

 

*Play with animals and children:  Spend more time playing with your animals and children—some of the most spontaneous creations on earth.  Throw a ball, run, play hide and seek, and you will laugh and enjoy being in the moment.

 

*Play spontaneously with your friends.  Play fun, improv games with your friends like “Build a Story.” Go around the room as each person says one word at a time to build a story. It’s a fun way to express your creativity and get your spontaneity juices flowing.


Take a Spiritual Vacation.  Think of your life as being like a short vacation. You are only here on earth (alive) for a short time—perhaps a few weeks or a few days—when compared to the vast time of eternity. Treat your time here like a vacation. Have fun, leave your worries behind, and focus on loving and helping others. When you do that, your entire lifetime can turn into a fun and productive vacation in which you create a legacy of goodness and love.

 

Yes, you can have more spontaneity and fun in your life. Make sure you play with animals, children, and friends, and think of your life like a spiritual vacation.  The paradox is that when you have fun and are spontaneous, you can usually work more and accomplish more because you are more motivated and creative. Start today and bring  spontaneity into your life so you can enjoy every minute of your time on earth.

: LOVE YOUR BODY, LOVE YOUR LIFE: HOW TO BE HEALTHY AND STRONG IN 2022: WITH SPECIAL GUESTS, AMERICA’S ADAPTIVE FITNESS EXPERTS, JOMILSON & THERESA ALVAREZ

It’s time to get fit and healthy for 2022.  On Love University, we learned the secrets of health and fitness from our guests, Jomilson and Theresa Alvarez. A lovely husband and wife team, Jomilson and Theresa provide training and encouragement to individuals with special needs to improve their health and strength.  Here are some powerful tips we learned to help you have a great body and mind for 2022:

*You are Stronger Than You Think You Are: Believe in your ability to be strong and healthy. Repeat the following phrase daily: “I am stronger today than I was yesterday.”  When you do this, you will overcome self-doubt and self-defeating mental and physical patterns. You will learn from your mistakes. You will become stronger mentally as you become stronger physically through exercise and movement.

Start Small:  Start by exercising 10-15 minutes per day and gradually increase your time and frequency of exercise.  One you start to feel good (endorphins) and see the difference (stronger and fitter), you will be motivated to work out more. You will consistently be in a state of Flow in which you forget your problems and self-consciousness as you merge your mind and body.

Do Your Passion In Your Safe Place:  If you don’t like going out due to the virus, or because you’re Introvert, there are many ways to partake in physical activity at home.  You can do a “home workout” with weights or aerobic equipment. You can also dance, garden, clean the house, play with your family or dog, or walk outside. Do what you love to do as long as it keeps you moving, and you will get in better shape.

Food is About What You Need, Not Always About What You Like:  You can discipline your mind to eat what is good for you, not necessarily what tastes good. Although you can enjoy tasty meals, it’s also important to be consistent with your diet and eat healthy a majority of the time.

Jomilson and Theresa offer us excellent advice:  Move it or Lose it.  Physical movement, in even small ways, is good for you and stimulates your mind, body, and soul.  As we enter the new year, make sure that you  tell yourself that you are getting stronger—physically and mentally—every day. Also, start small, do your passion in a safe place, and discipline your mind to eat what is good for you. If you do these things, you can jumpstart your fitness program and feel the healthiest and strongest you have felt in a long time.

HOW TO HAVE UNBELIEVABLE RELATIONSHIPS THAT STAND THE TEST OF TIME

Would you like to have a great love relationship that keeps getting better and more loving as time goes by? Now you can by applying some of the ideas we learned on Love University, as follows:

*Love Yourself.  To find and keep a loving partner, you need to love yourself. The key is to love yourself in a humble, not egotistical way. You love yourself by taking care of your emotional and physical needs, forgiving yourself for past errors, and relaxing instead of worrying. You also love yourself by picking a romantic partner who adds to your life and helps you increase your own well-being as you help them increase theirs.

*Choose Invincibility Seekers. Invincibility Seekers are those individuals who want to raise their level of happiness and love.  When choosing a mate or romantic partner, look at the inner character of the person. Ask yourself: “Are they an Invincibility Seeker?” If so, then nurture the relationship as you and your partner create light (positivity) in the world.

*Apply Sexual Transmutation.  Sexual transmutation is the application of sexual energy for a higher purpose. When you make love with your partner, visualize that you are merging with your partner and creating a higher vibration of light and love. When you fuse sexuality, romance, and love with a loving partner, both of you will generate increased creativity, charisma, and love.

Go out this week and love yourself, choose invincibility seeker people to be in your life, and apply sexual transmutation with your love partner. When you do this, you will be well on your way to creating and maintaining a beautiful love relationship that stands the test of time.

HOW TO CREATE A SOUL MATE FUNNEL AND ATTRACT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, WITH MEGAN WEKS, AMERICA‘S DATING COACH EXTRAORDINAIRE

Would you like to attract your soul mate and marry them within one year?  That’s exactly what our guest on Love University, Megan Weks, did.  Megan (themanfunnel.com) is one of the top dating coaches in the US, and she shared her secrets for authentic soul mate finding on the show. Here’s what we learned:

*Date Yourself First: It’s your essence that draws a mate in—the way your heart interacts with the stimuli in the world.  Start with self-analysis. Ask yourself:  Do I bleed masculinity (if you’re a woman, are you leaning too much on your business and directive side during dating)?  Am I too guarded? Do I express my feelings or explode emotionally?  Do I believe I’m worthy of love?

*Expand Your Energetic Presence: When you go out to the world or on a date, be aware of your energetic and emotional level. If you feel anxious, pinpoint where the feeling is—perhaps your chest, stomach, or head. Then breathe deeply and visualize the tension relaxing as you extend loving and grateful energy to the person in front of you. Grow a big ball of love and gratitude inside your body and express appreciation internally for the person you’re with.

*Be Authentically Hard To Get:  Be aware of when you’re coming on too strong or too needy. If you’re a woman, give the man some space for him to come toward you with his masculine push energy.  When you are balanced in your intuitive nature, you will lean back when necessary (reduce expectations and neediness for the person), and give them the space to enter your zone of love.

*Create a Soul Mate Funnel:  In the business world, a funnel refers to the process that businesses lead their customers through when buying products or services. As a top recruiter in the business world, Megan realized that she could apply the same “head/logical” techniques to help those desiring a soul mate. The key is to fill your romantic funnel with dates (up to 2-3 per week) so you can weed out the incompatible ones and find the compatible loving partner you deserve.  In this way, the logical side of your brain can take front and center before the emotional/chemistry reactive part falls in love with the wrong person.

Yes, you can attract the love of your life in a balanced, natural, and authentic way.  Date yourself first, expand your energy presence, be authentically hard to get, and create a soul mate funnel. When you do this, you will be approachable, magnetic, and a high value person.  Now you can let your heart come out to play and explore favorable dating options until you meet your compatible soul mate and live your dream of love.

CENTER YOURSELF IN THE HARA: ACTIVATE YOUR POINT OF POWER, INTUITION, AND LOVE

 

 

You have a tremendous power in the middle of your gut.  It is called the Hara.  In Eastern Philosophy and martial arts, the Hara is the point two inches below your navel. It is the center of your intuition and strength.  Even small and elderly martial artists can’t be pushed from their position when they focus on their Hara.  Here are some tips to develop your Hara’s inner power in your everyday life:

*Stop Apologizing.  Do you always feel like you have to say “I’m sorry” for the things you do? If so, stop apologizing. Stand firm in what you believe in without apologizing. When you do this, you will be happier and more fulfilled.

*Unify Yourself.  You may have competing desires that divide your mind. List the ways you are divided and choose the way that will help you the most in the long run. For example, you may want to lose weight, but you also want to eat tasty, fattening food. If that’s the case, then you need to unify yourself and choose what is best for you: Forgo the fattening food for the bigger goal of being healthy and fit.  Do this and you will reap great benefits.

*Live Authentically. Engage with people who resonate with who you really are. Do activities you truly love. Stop pretending to like what you don’t like, and being who you're not, just to please people who don’t really care about you. You only have one life—live it authentically. Be the true you. 

It’s up to you. You can tap into the power of your Hara if you stop apologizing, unify yourself, and live authentically. By doing so, you will reach your dreams and love deeply and fully.

PART TWO: INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: THE MOUNTAIN OF INVINCIBILITY: YOUR INNNER POWER MANIFESTED

Would you like to be invincible beyond your wildest dreams? Now you can by following some of the tips we learned on Love University, as follows:

*Use Failure to Grow Your Mental Muscles. Failure can be your best friend if you learn the lessons from your mistakes and grow as a human being.

*Move From “Poor Me” to “Blessed I.” Instead of feeling sorry for yourself when you don’t get what you want, turn the tables and think of all the things you can be grateful for—for all of your blessings in life.

*Go Through the Pain Gap. Before you can have a strong mind and spirit, you need to go through some discomfort (pain gap)  As you get rid of your comfortable, yet self-defeating, mental patterns (procrastination, timidness), you will venture into a new place: Your Mountain of Invincibility.

Being invincible doesn’t mean that you will never fail or suffer loss and pain. It means that you will succeed and thrive, despite the failures, obstacles, and mistakes. Start today. Use failure to grow your mental muscles, move from “Poor Me” to “Blessed I,” and go through the Pain Gap. When you do that, your success and happiness will be assured.

 

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR COPY OF INVINCIBLE YOU, THE BOOK: shorturl.at/jqrB5

 

HOW TO HAVE UNSTOPPABLE RELATIONSHIPS:THE SECRETS OF WONDERFUL LOVE, SEX, AND TOGETHERNESS

 

 

Would you like to have a powerful and loving relationship that gets better every day?  If you desire it, you can create a love relationship filled with incredible romance, sex, love, and lasting togetherness. Here are some of the important tips we discussed on Love University for creating an unstoppable relationship:

*Seek Invincibility Seeker Love. An Invincibility Seeker is someone who wants to improve their life and the life of their partner.  They are individuals who desire to make a positive difference in the world. When two Invincibility Seekers come together, they can create a beautiful love relationship of like-minded “soul enhancers”  who will help elevate each other’s minds and hearts to reach a higher level of living that is far beyond the ordinary.  This is the type of Invincibility Seeker Love you should be aiming for with your love partner.

*Transmute Your Sexual Energy. Sexual transmutation is the channeling of sexual energy into a higher state of frequency that contributes positively to the individual, and to society.  To do this, you should invest your libido in a Invincibility Seeking partner as they do the same for you. In this way, your sexual energy becomes fused with love and romance, and inspires both of you to achieve the greatest heights of success and love in your relationship and life. There are many examples of love-sex transmutation (motivation) that have led to great accomplishments, including: 

     F. Scott Fitzgerald, the great author from the 1920’s, who loved his schizophrenic wife, and made her the inspiration for many of the female protagonists in his novels.  

    Kass and Michael Lazerow: A married couple who founded Buddy Media, a social enterprise software company that connects advertising firms with consumers. In his article, “Why I Have Sex With My Co-founder,” Michael makes the case for couples to start businesses together.

   Casey Sackett and Jennifer Wong. Husband and wife, Casey and Jennifer, were expecting their first child. As a result of their experience, they decided to create various apps for expectant mothers, including the popular BabyBump, a pregnancy and social network app.

*True Love Is Based on Deep Understanding of the Other.    Deep love is not based on simply sexual attraction, surface compatibility, companionship, or mutual interests.  It is grounded on a deep, empathetic understanding of a love partner—knowing each other’s goals, habits, dreams, preferences, values, hopes, and fears.  It is when a husband has his wife’s bubble bath ready because he knows she’s had a hard day, and when his wife prepares his favorite meal to celebrate his accomplishment at work. This type of deep understanding leads to a total acceptance of the beloved as they are—forming the foundation of a powerful and lasting love that doesn’t fade when the looks or status goes away.

Yes, you can have unstoppable romance and love with the mate of your choice.  All you have to do is seek Invincibility Love, apply the principles of Sexual Transmutation, and develop a deep, empathetic understanding and acceptance of each other. When you have the right Invincibility Seeker mate, you can create a love that stands the test of time and is based on giving love without expectation—the greatest love of all.  

HOW TO FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AND EMBRACE YOUR INNER WEIRD, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, MARY ENGLAND, MERRIMENT-MAKER EXTRAORDINAIRE AND INNER GREATNESS COACH

Would you like to embrace your inner joy and tap into your uniqueness to reach your dreams? Now you can by applying some of the lessons we learned from our special guest on Love University, Mary England (Inspiring Self-Love Through Merriment + Creativity | Uncustomary). Mary overcame 20 years of severe mental illness to find her inner joy and is now an in-demand coach that helps people live extraordinary lives. Here are some of the tips she shared with us for how to live your full-potential life.

*Tap into your Inner Weird. Mary loves to do fun “weird” things in public like giving out free lemons to people so they can make lemonade. You can have more joy in your life if you accept the part of you that is different, unique, and playful.  On a daily basis, jump, dance, sing, and do silly things to tap into your fun, inner weird.  Play games with your friends, children, and animals—see how much fun and joy you can create by being uniquely you.

*Go on a Solo Date and don’t hold your pee. Self-care is more than just getting enough sleep or having a spa day. It means doing what is right for you, regardless of what you think other people want you to do.  If you don’t have anyone to go out with, take yourself on a date—pamper yourself at a nice restaurant or watch a great show. If you have to pee, don’t hold it because you’re trying to be polite in a conversation. Take care of your important needs first, and you will feel more content and relaxed.

*Never dull down your desire.   Go for what you truly want. If you want a serious relationship leading to long-term commitment, make that clear to the people you date (Don’t fall into the “friend” or “hookup” zone). If you want to start your dream business, travel to your ideal destination, or make an important lifestyle change, do it.  Don’t let outer naysayers (negative people) or inner naysayers (your critical thoughts) dim your passion and love for what you truly want to do. You only have one life. Life it will full engagement and passion.

Yes, you can love yourself without being egotistical or narcissistic. You can be uniquely you and tap into your inner joy while making this world a better place for everyone around you, including yourself. It’s your turn now: Go for what you really want, laugh abundantly, and allow your creativity and love to shine for all to see.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: HOW TO OVERCOME FUTILITY AND ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

Would you like to overcome feelings of futility and failure to achieve your dreams? Now you can by following a few simple steps that we discussed on Love University, as follows:

 

  1. Treasure Your Success Memories.  Go around your house and focus on the things that bring you good memories:  a special gift, photo of a loved one; a prize, certificate, or award. Look carefully at these things, and remember the good memories associated with them. As you do this, say “Yeah,” louder and louder, as you anchor the feelings of success and love in your mind.

 

  1. Step into the Circle of Power.  Imagine an invisible circle that is three feet in diameter and two feet in front of you. This is your Circle of Power. Recall a time when you felt successful, powerful, and loved (great times with loved ones; a special accomplishment).  As you remember the past positive event, step into the imaginary circle and say, “I am stepping into the Circle of Power. I share the power of the Universe. I am Invincible.”

 

  1. Break the Paper Thin Bars.  Think of being in a prison cell in which the bars are made of soft tissue paper, yet are painted to look like solid metal bars. Imagine that, at first, you think that you are hopeless to escape; there appears to be no way out. But then you receive a letter explaining that the bars are only made of tissue paper.  Now visualize yourself breaking through the paper bars and walking to your emotional and psychological freedom.

 

Yes, you can have the ultimate success and joy you desire. All you have to do is focus intently on your greatest desire, step into your inner power, and liberate yourself from everything that holds you back. When you do this, you will finally realize that futility and despair have no place in your heart and mind. Now you can be truly free to enjoy every minute of life as you grow, learn, love, and leave a legacy for all to see.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: MASTER THE REGRET WEAKNESS AND LIVE FREE FROM THE PAIN OF THE PAST

Do you suffer from regret—the emotional pain of the “shouldas,” “wouldas,” and “couldas?” Perhaps, you regret staying too long in a bad relationship, choosing the wrong career or lifestyle, or falling into a bad habit or addiction. If so, now you can find relief from regrets of the past by following the Invincible You Principles we discussed on Love University. Here are some powerful tips for mastering regret and enjoying a loving present and a confident future:  

*Allow yourself to go back. Forgive yourself if you temporarily fall back into an old temptation, bad habit, or negative behavior. After you forgive yourself, go back to your disciplined plan immediately.

*Recreate a memory. Think of a mistake you made in the past. Then, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine that you had acted the way you would have wanted.  Re-experience the situation or encounter as the newer, wiser you. When you do this, you will feel more positive about your life and your past.

*Recognize and apply the lessons learned.   Learn from your mistakes and decide that you will not repeat the same mistake twice, whether in your relationships, career, finances, or lifestyle choices. Your goal is to improve every day. When you do this, you will feel better about yourself, and you will make wiser decisions.

The good news is that you no longer need to waste mental energy brooding over past events, decisions, and actions. You can look forward instead of backwards. To live happily and without regret, you will always head toward “next time”—the best and most optimistic place to be.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: HOW TO MASTER ANGER EVEN IF YOU DON’T &**&^&^& FEEL LIKE IT

Are you pissed off and angry?  Is the world making you mad? If so, our recent Love University show can offer you some pointers on how to live a more peaceful and calm life.  Try the following:

 

*Develop the Mind of Preference, not Demand.  When you prefer things to happen in a certain way (but don’t demand it), you will be more relaxed and content.   Think preference, not demand.

 

*Draw Your Anger.  In a notebook or notepad, draw what your anger looks like. Give it a name (Rage Goblin), and a color (red).

 

*Separate Yourself from the Anger Thought.  Realize that the anger entity is not you. It is only a temporary thought that happens to be traveling through your mind.  Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, visualize that you are blowing the anger out of your life.  Say firmly, “Anger, I don’t want you in my life anymore. Goodbye!”

 

If you follow these three tips, you can start to eliminate anger from your daily life.  You can begin a new life of peace, comfort, and love.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: RUSH NO MORE: HOW TO BE RELAXED AND PEACEFUL IN A FRENZIED AND CRAZY WORLD

 

Are you a rushaholic—rushing everywhere and having little peace and relaxation? On our latest Love University show, we learned some tips for relaxing and enjoying your life—without constant time pressures. Here’s what you need to do:

 

1.Develop the Mind of Patience. There is enough time for everything.  Think of relaxation instead of stress. Think about accomplishing things the right way, instead of trying to do too much. Your relaxed mind will thank you.

  1. Find a Patience Mentor.  Spend time with elderly people who have mastered the art of patience. Strive to emulate their easy-going, relaxed approach to life, and you will feel joyful and peaceful.
  2. Choose the Longer Line. As an exercise, intentionally choose the longer line in a store. Become aware of your surroundings and your own thoughts and feelings (“Hurry up” your mind tells you). Listen to conversations and observe other people who seem rushed and pressured. Resolve that you will not be like them.  You will be calm, patient, and loving.

 

Yes, it’s true. You can be patient, relaxed, and fulfilled.  Leave rush behind and start an inner revolution of relaxation and well-being. You will enjoy every minute of it.

IF YOUR FACE WERE A SOUL, WHAT WOULD YOU LOOK LIKE? WITH SPECIAL GUEST, LEENA DWADI, POSITIVE LIFE IMPACTER AND SOCIAL MEDIA GURU

When life seems overwhelming, we need to find our beauty and strength within. This is the beautiful lesson we learned from our amazing guest, life coach Leena Duwadi, native of Nepal. Known as the female “Sadhguru” for her enlightening nuggets of wisdom, here is what the lovely Leena share with us:

 

*The world is full of good hearts. Look around you, and you will find love and charity.   Help others and you will always win.

*You are spiritual even if you don’t realize it. You believe in something higher than yourself, whether it’s God, money, love, or something else. Make sure that you believe in something that will elevate you and bring you goodness.

*Be the hope you never lost. You have greatness inside you. Simply recognize that you are a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature).  When you do that, you won’t have to prove yourself to anyone. You are sufficient within yourself.

*We need more loving ears, not talking mouths. Just being with a hurting person, and listening attentively, is enough.  Your energetic presence by itself can help heal those who suffer.

*Replace “Alonement” for “Loneliness.” You can be by yourself and still be content if you love yourself in an authentic way. Being alone doesn’t have to mean that you’re lonely. It can give you the opportunity to truly know yourself.

*The Higher Nature is your “Life Guard.”   Sometimes, you are thrown into a pool of deep water.  Life seems too difficult; you are overwhelmed by problems and difficulties. Yet, the good news is that The Higher Nature (God, spirit) is ready to jump in to save you as long as you are willing. Be willing.

 

The truth is that it's perfectly fine to work on your outer health and beauty. Yet, you will also receive great rewards when you focus on enhancing your inner beauty—your capacity for empathy, compassion, gratitude, and love.  Make your outer face—your daily actions-- match your inner face of beauty. When you do this, you will live triumphantly, joyfully, and with complete love.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: MASTER THE DESERT OF WEAKNESS AND LIVE TRIUMPHANTLY

Would you like to overcome negative thoughts and emotions, and achieve your greatest potential in life? You can do so by following a few simple tips from Dr. Avila’s latest book, Invincible You: Discover Your Inner Power and Achieve Your Heart’s Desires (shorturl.at/C0679). Here’s what you need to do:

1.Identify the negative inner voices that hold you back. In a journal or notebook, write down the self-defeating thoughts that attack you on a daily basis: “I’m not smart enough.”  “I’m not attractive enough.” “I’m not lovable enough.”  “I’m not confident enough.” “I will never succeed in life.” Once you write them down, you will realize that these self-defeating thoughts are not you. They are just temporarily invading thought entities that try to fool you into believing that they are you. Don’t believe the thought tricksters. You are something far greater than the temporary gloomy thoughts in your mind.

 

  1. Reverse the pronouns. To change your perspective about the negative thought invaders, change the pronoun you use from “I” to “You.” Now, when self-defeating thoughts enter your mind, you will say, “You (self-defeating thoughts) are not smart enough.”
    “You are not lovable enough.” “You will never be able to control me.”  When you do this, you turn the table on the self-defeating thoughts and put them on the defensive. You understand that they, not you, are the ones who are weak and easy to defeat.

 

  1.  Create Self-Enhancing thoughts in place of self-defeating Thoughts.  On a daily basis, write down and repeat self-growth thoughts to yourself. Say things like “I am smart.” “I am attractive.” “I am lovable.” “I am success and love.” When you ingrain these beautiful thoughts in your mind, your mood and motivation will improve significantly. Now you will have the mental firepower to achieve your goals and help other people along the way. 

 

Yes, it is true that you can chart your course towards love and happiness. Along the way, you can throw away self-defeating thoughts, and you can fill your mind with joy, compassion, peace, love, and confidence. Start today to master the Desert of Weakness and start your climb toward the Mountain of Invincibility. You will enjoy every step along the way.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO WIN BIG

Do you ever wonder if it’s too late for you to succeed in life? Perhaps, you think you’re too old and have wasted your potential. Or, you may feel that you have experienced too many failures or setbacks, and you have made too many costly mistakes. You think: “There is no way I can recover what I lost.” If you feel this way, then there is hope for you. You can achieve your dreams and live a fulfilling life, no matter how much you’ve suffered in the past; no matter how many failures or setbacks you have experienced. All you have to do is follow these three simple rules, and you can recover your joy and fulfill your heart’s desires:

 

Rule 1: Visualize your best future.  In this exercise, you will imagine yourself in ten years as you’re living your ideal life. Take a deep breath and imagine what you will look like and feel like; what you will be doing, and who will be around you in ten years. When you open your eyes, write down what you envisioned. Perhaps, you see yourself with a loving partner and family, doing work you love, and spending time with the people you care about. You also see yourself as attractive, successful, healthy, and happy in this ideal future. With this exercise, you will be able to visualize and actualize a future of excellence and joy.

 

Rule 2:  Learn the lessons from the Greats who overcame adversity.  No matter how far you have fallen in life, you can receive great inspiration and motivation by studying the examples of high achievers who have overcome obstacles in life.  There are many stories of influential, productive, and happy people who have started later in life; resilient individuals who have overcome pain and failure to leave a lasting legacy.  Select one of these “Adversity Conquerors” to be your role model or mentor—whether they are dead or alive.  Read books about them, watch videos, contact them if they are still around to see if you can interview them and learn from them. By applying their wisdom into your life, you can begin to progress even more, and you can overcome any obstacles that stand in your way.

 

Rule 3:  Keep walking forward.  Always remember that it is never too late to make a positive change in your life. Every time you take one small step in your favor—apply for the job, ask for the date, research a new venture, make the investment—you will move in the direction of your invincibility and walk away from your past follies, regrets, and embarrassments. You will grow every time you work on yourself by reading a self-help book, attending a personal development lecture, or listening to a transformational CD or podcast. Before long, you will realize that you are winning big and reaching a state of Invincibility in which nothing can harm you or bother you. Success will become your every step.

 

Yes, it’s never too late to win big.  Just keep these keys in mind as you master challenges and reach your highest potential:

 

  1. Visualize your best future.
  2. Learn from the Greats who overcame adversity
  3. Keep walking forward.

INVINCIBLE YOU: THE THREE TRIES–YOUR ROADMAP TO EXCELLENCE

Are you trying too hard and not getting the results you want in life? Are you constantly running into roadblocks when you try to improve your relationships, career, finances, health, or happiness?  If so, then there is good news for you. As we discussed on Love University this week, you can apply scientifically proven ways to accomplish what you desire. Here are 3 powerful and effective ways to exert the right effort to achieve your dreams.  

 

*Meditate on Greatness. If you’re not achieving your goals, a good remedy is to study and reflect on the lives of people who have already achieved what you desire; individuals who have lived happy lives and have contributed to the world. You can start by finding a person you admire in the field that you’re interested in. Once you pinpoint the person you would like to learn from, reach out to them. Call, email, text, or write them a letter. Tell them that you admire their work and have a few questions for them about achieving success in their field. Many will be glad to help you because they want to give back to those who follow in their footsteps. When you find the right mentor, listen carefully to the advice they give you. As you study what they offer you, you will incorporate the parts of them that resonate with the essence of you, while maintaining your own mindset and integrity in the process.

 

*Reverse your trying.  When you reverse your trying, you will do the opposite of what you’ve been trying to do so you can get the opposite of what you’ve been receiving. For example, let’s say that you’ve been frustrated in trying to find a soul mate—the one you want doesn’t want you, while you often attract the individuals that you’re not interested in.  At this point, you will do the opposite of searching for your soul mate: You will take a break from dating, and you will focus on yourself for a while. You may pick up a hobby, make new friends, travel, adopt a pet, or participate in a new spiritual/exercise/meditative program. Paradoxically, when you stop chasing others, you will develop a sense of peace and contentment, and you are more likely to attract the right person who resonates with your authentic and relaxed nature.

 

*Try for your Don—your God-given talent.  Your Don is your God/nature- given talent, whether it’s teaching, writing, caretaking, selling, inventing, organizing, working with your hands, and so on. When you put effort into developing your Don, you will see positive results in many areas of your life, including your relationships, finances, career, health, and happiness. Unfortunately, many people shy away from their talent. They may think that they can’t make money from it, or that they’re not really good enough. If you feel drawn to a particular talent or ability within yourself, go ahead and develop it. Start today. Take a class, read, or listen to podcasts about your Don. Practice it, perfect it, offer your Don to others, as much as you can. You can even give others free samples of your Don. For example, if cooking is your great talent, give some of your delicacies to friends who will enjoy it.  The truth is that, when you fully develop your Don, you will accomplish more in less time. You are more effective because you are tapping into your natural strengths, instead of forcing yourself to do things that you’re not good at. As you share your Don with the world, your confidence and ability will grow. You will be able to do more because you have become more. 

 

Always remember that achieving your goals is much easier when you focus your energy on the things that truly matter. Make sure that you meditate on greatness, reverse your trying, and try for your Don (talent/gift). When you do this, you will no longer just be trying; you will be doing and succeeding. Your intention will become reality because you are on your own side.

Nothing will be able to stop you.

INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: HOW TO LIVE LIKE A CHAMPION

 

Would you like to live like a champion and be someone who regularly wins in life, despite problems and obstacles?   This week, in our continuing Love University series on “Invincible You,” we learned how to be a Mental Champion by following these four simple steps:

  1. Avoid the little bads.  You may not realize it, but you may be allowing “little bads”—negative thoughts—to creep into your mind. You may be thinking:  “I don’t have enough time,”  “Life is difficult, or “I can’t find someone to love.” The solution to these little bads is to substitute them for little goods: Positive thoughts and phrases that enliven and inspire you. Say to yourself, “I have all the time I need,”  “There is an abundance of money and love," and “Life, with positive belief is easy.” As you begin to speak differently to yourself, your attitude will begin to brighten, and you will have more energy, motivation, and desire to achieve your goals.
  2. Start with the easy. Sometimes an important task seems too difficult for you to accomplish. If that is the case, then you can start with the easy. Do something that you can complete in a short period of time, without much effort.  For example, if you want to start a new career, go online and read a couple of articles about people who have been successful in the field you’re interested in. If you want to get in shape, go to the gym for only 20 minutes, and then gradually increase the time you spend working out. As you take these easy, initial steps you will build momentum to do bigger and better things that will bring you even greater results.
  3. Practice the power of discard.  Have you accumulated a lot of junk in your life—both physical things that you don’t need, and emotions and thoughts that hold you back?  If so, then get rid of the junk. Start by discarding old items from your home: clothes that no longer fit, equipment that doesn’t work well, paperwork that is obsolete. As you get rid of these useless things, you can also decide to eliminate self-defeating and nonproductive thoughts and feelings from your mind, including regret, worry, and frustration.
  4. Join a mastermind group.  Sometimes it seems like the whole weight of the world is on you, and you feel all alone in life. The good news is that you don't have to be alone. You can join or start a Mastermind Group—a union of like-minded people who come together to help each other reach their goals. Find people—online or off—who resonate with your values and interests, and who are willing to support you (as you support them) in achieving your dreams and objectives.  Meet regularly and brainstorm ideas to solve pressing problems and fill important needs.  As you harness the energy and mind power of your mastermind group, you will uplift your creativity and mood. You will come up with great solutions to your problems and challenges, and you will contribute to the lives of others in the process.

Yes, you can live like a champion.  All you have to do is avoid the little bads, start with the easy, practice the power of discard, and join a Mastermind Group.  If you do these things, you will not only begin to live like a Champion, but you will be one step closer to creating a life of Invincibility and impeccable excellence.  

INVINCIBLE YOU: YOU’RE A MEMBER OF THE 7% CLUB OF THE LIVING, REJOICE!

You may not realize it, but you’re a member of a very exclusive club.  It is called the Club of the Living. It Is estimated that approximately 107 billion people have lived on earth throughout history.. With a current world population exceeding 7 billion, that means there are roughly 15 dead people for every person who is alive.  Therefore, by virtue of being alive at this very moment, you are one of those lucky 7%. You are alive. You can do anything you want. Amazing.

 

Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your membership in the esteemed 7% Club of the Living:

 

*Do what you want now:  Don’t wait.  You don’t know how long your membership in the club will last—how long you will be alive. Therefore, you need to do all of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do you want to go to the Himalayas and meditate?  Do you want to fly an airplane? Invent something to change the world? Teach the young?  Travel the world? Help the needy? Be an amazing parent, friend, or lover? Live healthy free, and joyful? This is your time to do what you’ve always dreamed of. Do it now.

 

*Live the good paradox.  As a member of the 7% Club of the Living, you will be living a paradox. On one hand, you will take your life seriously because you have a limited amount of time on earth, and you need to put your talents and abilities to good use to help yourself and others. At the same time, you won’t take every little problem or difficulty too seriously—traffic jams, mechanical breakdowns, human conflicts—because you know they won’t be that important 10 years from now, or even one year from now. You have a bigger perspective on life, and you don’t let little things overwhelm you. You will maintain your precious peace of mind and focus on the big issues of life: loving yourself, others, and a Higher Nature, and contributing your talents to make this world a better place.

 

*Repeat this phrase daily to yourself: “I am alive. I am the 7%.  This is my time.”  When you say this phrase, you will jolt yourself out of your self-hypnosis of “stuckness"--that pity party of regrets, fears, sadness, and disappointments. You will see yourself as a living and breathing entity who has the miracle of life: You are one of the 7%. You have the power to make your life anything you want it to be.

 

Rejoice. You are a member of the 7% Club of the Living. This is your time now. Live each day consciously, joyfully, and with love, as you help others do the same. Remember that the sun shines on you today. Tomorrow it may go elsewhere, but as long as you are here on Earth, you should enjoy every drop of life.  Savor it like the finest of wines. As long as blood courses through your veins, and thoughts flow through your mind, let your soul dance with joy, and your heart sing with love. You are one of the 7%.  Be grateful and enjoy.

UNLEASH YOUR INTUITIVE GENIUS AND MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

Have you ever had a gut hunch about something that later came true? Perhaps, you didn’t feel quite right about a charming and attractive person you just met, and they later turned out to be totally wrong for you. Or, you may have had a good feeling about a business or investment opportunity, and it later turned out to be a winner. Intuition is a sense of knowing something without knowing how you know. It is a sudden flash of insight, a “thin slicing” of judgement in which you come up with a conclusion based on what seems to be a small amount of information. Intuition can be very powerful, and new research shows how you can tap into your intuitive powers to achieve your dreams by developing the 4 Pillars of Intuition, as follows:

 

*Believe you can develop your intuition. Think of your intuition as a muscle that you can make stronger just like you would work out your muscles at the gym. You may consider yourself to be a more practical person; perhaps you don’t think you’re very intuitive. Yet, regardless of your current level of intuition, you can develop more of it. You can learn how to trust your gut and make the right decisions. You can improve your intuition.

 

*Get out of your head and into your gut (Hara).  You may be the overthinking type of person. Perhaps, you think about everything too much, and you have what Eastern philosophers call the “Monkey Mind,” a mind filled with worries and thoughts about the future and what will happen to you. To get reduce the monkey mind, you need to develop your Hara. In martial arts there is a point, two inches below your navel, called the Hara.  It is your point of intuition, balance, and power. When martial artists, no matter how old or small, are fully concentrated on their Hara, it is very difficult to move them off their position (even by stronger and younger martial artists). Try this exercise: Imagine that there is a colored light coming from your Hara—two inches below your navel. Perhaps, it’s green, blue, white, or yellow. Think of an emotion that the light represents—perhaps peace, joy, or love.  Now shine that light energy inwardly to yourself, creating relaxation and purpose, as well as outwardly to others, shining compassion and love to the world. Now ask your Hara an important question that you would like answered.  Perhaps, you will ask, “How will I find love?”  “What is my best career path?” or “What is my purpose in life?” When you ask the question, take a deep breath and wait for the Hara’s answer. It will come, and you may be pleasantly surprised at what you learn about yourself and what you truly want.

 

*Write down your intuitions.  On a daily basis, jot down your ideas, hunches, and intuitive feelings in a journal; a notebook, pad, or device. Write down your dreams, the results from the Hara exercise, and sudden flashes of insight that come to you in the shower or when you’re walking down the street. The more you get used to writing down your ideas and gut reactions, the better your intuition can become. When you first write them down, don’t judge their value; simply write with as much detail as you can. Later, you can come back, in the light of realistic analysis, and determine if you can apply your intuitive insights to improve your life and the lives of others.

 

*Test your hunches. When you get a gut feeling or intuition, test it.  Start with small things.  Maybe, you have an intuition about something that happened to your friend on a particular day. Tell your friend what you think and ask them if it is true.  Or, perhaps you have a good feeling about trying a new movie, restaurant, or activity.  Even though you’ve never tried it before, your intuition gives you a strong “Yes.” Go ahead and do it. You can also use your intuition for more serious or weighty matters.  Perhaps, you have a very strong and repetitive intuition about starting (or ending) a relationship or business/career/job. After careful study, deliberation, and counseling, you may still have that strong signal to take a particular action. If that is the case, then follow your intuition: stay in the relationship or end it; continue with the job/career/business or start a new one. Chances are, you will find that, despite your fear and trepidation, you have made the right choice. You will reap the benefits of your intuitive insight.

 

Yes, you can become more intuitive, and you can use your intuition to help yourself and others. Remember that your intuitive abilities, at their core, are all about love. When you trust your gut, you love yourself and believe in yourself. When you act on your intuition to help other people, you are loving others. And, when you connect with your Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature), you are uniting with the source of intuitive genius that flows through you. Start today to develop and trust in your intuition.  Your life will brighten as you bring more joy and goodwill to yourself and those around you.

TOXIC PRODUCTIVITY: ARE YOUR WORKING YOURSELF TO DEATH? HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR MIND, BODY,AND SOUL

Are you spending too much time working instead of taking care of your mental, physical, and spiritual health?  Do your loved ones complain that you’re not spending enough time with them?  Do you feel burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed a majority of the time? If you answered “Yes,” you may be suffering from the condition known as Toxic Productivity. Toxic Productivity is  the unhealthy and compulsive desire to work all of the time. When you suffer from Toxic Productivity, you are more concerned with what you didn’t do than with what you actually accomplished. People with Toxic Productivity often suffer from stress, heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, anxiety, depression, and other compulsive behaviors (over shopping).  During the pandemic, many people have stayed home, but instead of relaxing and enjoying their leisure time, they have worked even more in an attempt to find security in an uncertain world. Here are some tips to help you regain your peace of mind and joy if you feel overworked and stressed out:

  1. Keep a True Productivity Journal. In a notebook or tablet, keep track of the time you spend working, as well as the time you spend on enjoying leisure pursuits.  Write down your feelings when you’re working and when you’re relaxing. Some people love their work so much that it feels like play; they feel happy and fulfilled. Other people find their work boring or stressful.  The key is to find work that you love to do, while also making sure that you balance your work with healthy and relaxing activities such as exercise, meditation, listening to music, reading, working with your hands, being in nature, engaging in a spiritual practice, or spending quality time with loved ones, including your love partner, children, and animals. You will feel more uplifted and ready to get back to work when you take the time to relax and rejuvenate.
  2. Develop a Self-Compassionate Mindset. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you didn’t complete a project you had been wanting to finish. At the end of the workday, tell yourself that “I have done enough. I am sufficient as a human being, and I don’t need to work anymore to prove my worth. I can rest and start again tomorrow.”
  3. Reframe rest as productivity: Don’t punish yourself for being productive. You may be a very efficient person who does a lot of work in a short period of time. If that’s the case, then you may need to overcome the temptation to keep doing more work. When you’ve completed an important task or project, reward yourself with an enjoyable activity—perhaps talking to friends, playing with your dog, or watching your favorite show. Also, you need to rethink you way you view “rest.” Instead of perceiving rest as a distraction from your work, view it as a way to increase your productivity because you feel more relaxed and focused after you’ve taken a relaxation break.  A very successful business was hired to save a company on the verge of bankruptcy. The first thing he did was book a ticket to an island resort. After relaxing on the beach for a week, the frantic company CEO finally got ahold of him and wanted to know what he was doing lying on the beach. He replied:  “The bigger the problem, the more I need to relax to clear my mind.” When he came back, he was able to quickly turn the company around and save it from bankruptcy. He knew that relaxation increased his mental focus and power to do his best work. You can do the same. Go ahead and take a mini-vacation (or a bigger one); go to a nearby day spa or wilderness area, spend a few hours doing your favorite activity, whether it’s playing sports, gardening, working with your hands, or spending time with loved ones. When you take care of yourself first, you will come back reenergized and ready to take on the world.
  4. Manage energy, not time.  Are you a morning or an evening person? Determine when you have the strongest energy and do your most challenging or creative work at that time. Perhaps, you have the most energy in the morning. If that’s the case, when you wake up in the morning, make sure you immediately start working on the most difficult project or task of the day. Later in the day when your energy wanes, you can handle less mentally challenging tasks such as texts, emails, or paperwork.  In this way, you can maximize your energy, your life force, and accomplish more in less time while feeling invigorated and competent in the process.
  5. Extend Loving Energy without expectation.   On a daily basis, strive to give love without expecting anything in return. Smile, offer sincere compliments, and help those who need it. Be kind and compassionate without expecting other people to give you anything back. When you give love without expectations like this, you will gain a tremendous amount of emotional and psychological power.  You will no longer desperately seek the approval or recognition of others; you won’t be at the beck and call of other people’s unreasonable demands and unrealistic expectations. You are independent and self-sufficient because your source of energy and power is within; you give love simply because that is what you have inside you.  In the same way, when you work with love without expecting anything from the fruits of your work (money, accolades), you are capable of infinite work. Because your self-esteem is not tied to your work, you won’t suffer from constant stress and unfulfilled expectations. You are free to do your work spontaneously, creatively, and authentically because your true nature, your authentic self, comes from a higher source. You may call this Higher Source a certain name such as God, Nature, Spirit, Nature, or Love. Regardless of the name you use, when you tap into the goodness and love of this Higher Nature, everything you do, including your work, will be lighter, easier, and more joyous.

Start today to change your attitude toward work and leisure. Do work that you love, but don’t work at the expense of your mental and spiritual health—maintain a healthy balance between work and relaxation.  Take the time to rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit by doing things that uplift you.  Spend quality time with your mate, children, family, and friends; participate in fun leisure activities and hobbies, rest, exercise, eat healthy, and get a good night’s sleep. When you do this, you will have more energy to do the work you love. You will also bring more love to the world as you love yourself at the same time. As the famous poet, Khalil Gibran, once said: “Work is love made visible.”  This week, strive to enjoy your work and your life, as much as you possibly can.  

HOW TRAVELING CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, MAKE YOU MONEY, AND TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE: WITH DAVE AND DEB, FORBES TOP 10 TRAVEL INFLUENCERS

Do you love to travel? Although it may be more difficult these days due to the virus, there is hope that the world will open up more in the near future. The good news is that new research shows that traveling can improve your mental and physical health, improve your romantic relationships, and even increase your financial and career opportunities.  Our delightful guests on Love University, Dave and Deb (the planetd.com), Forbes Top 10 Travel Influencers, shared some of their secrets for happy travel that can change your life (traveling saved their marriage).  Here is what we learned from Dave and Deb:

 

*Traveling can improve your confidence, self-esteem, and career/business prospects.  Dave used to be more Introverted and self-focused and Deb used to lack confidence (she was intimidated by all of the stars she worked with in the entertainment industry). After traveling to over 100 countries, they have transformed their personalities.  Dave is now more empathetic and outgoing as he feels for those who are less fortunate in the world, and appreciates what he has back home.  Deb is more confident because she feels like she is a more interesting person and can talk about more things because of her travels and life experiences.  Also, when they return from their trips, they find that they have more business opportunities; they get great ideas while traveling and are more creative when they return. In the same way, traveling can improve your confidence, creativity, and relational skills. Start planning your future trip today.

 

*Traveling can save your marriage. After ten years of marriage, Dave and Deb were overworked professionals in the Canadian entertainment industry, and on the verge of divorce, until they discovered traveling. Heeding a friend’s advice, they traveled to Thailand and fell in love with the country, as well as the idea of seeing the world and making a living out of it. Now millions of people read their comprehensive and entertaining travel advice blog.  Their most romantic destination? Maldives, a chain of islands off the coast of India and Sri Lanka.  Going there is like being transported to a beautiful island paradise, where there is turquoise water, and each hotel its own island. It was made for romance (get your couples massage).  Their best couple traveling advice? “When you’re fighting with your partner on a trip, let it go. Say to each other, ‘I don’t want to fight anymore,’ and find something you like to do in common. Remember: One huge argument doesn’t have to ruin a great relationship.”

 

*Take care of your health, safety, and security when you travel. According to Dave and Deb, it’s important to get travel insurance, including medical evacuation insurance—for any emergency you will be flown back home. Also, make sure you get your vaccines—certain countries require proof upon entry—and avoid eating food that can make you sick. Dave and Deb say that eating street food is OK if it is properly cooked, but don’t eat things that are peeled (an orange is OK if not peeled). Also, be wary of ice and make sure you purify the water you drink.  For ladies, Deb has this advice: “Take an extra credit card and cash, wrap it in toilet paper, and put it in your tampons. A thief probably won’t think of looking there for your money.” Dave and Deb add:  “Make sure you split up your cards and money.  Put them in carry-ons, checked luggage, and backpacks so you have money in different places in case some things get lost or stolen.”

 

*Learn and be compassionate. One of the greatest things about traveling is learning about other cultures and developing relationships with interesting and fascinating people. Deb says that one of her fondest travel memories is becoming friends with a tuk-tuk driver in Sri Lanka (drives a three-wheeled motor vehicle used as a taxi). He drove them everywhere and they got to know his family. During their friendship, they learned that, although he was poor by Western standards, the driver was a great humanitarian.  He helped raise money for schools and brought shoes to children in poverty. They fell in love with his heart of gold. Dave and Deb advises that when you’re traveling, you should be patient, courteous, and empathetic to the people you meet, including service providers (be kind; realize how hard they work to make a living). If you have the opportunity, donate and volunteer (teach English) to help the people you visit.  It’s a great thing to leave a loving contribution in every place you visit. You will uplift lives and you will feel better as a human being who loves others and contributes to their well-being.  

 

Dave and Deb conclude by saying that you don’t have to be rich or a celebrity to travel.  It is possible to travel on a budget (even seniors are staying at hostels these days; it’s a great social experience). You can enjoy your time without spending an enormous amount of money. Also, traveling with kids and pets can be a fun and rewarding experience, although it takes a bit more preparation and planning. In the end, traveling is a way to expand yourself, gain new memories and experiences (travel memories are among the most beloved), and create positivity, love, and new friendships. It’s true that traveling and meeting people from other cultures is what unites us as human beings. By traveling and connecting with others who are different, we realize that, deep down, we are all alike—we all live, we all laugh, and we all love.

HOW TO LOVE BEYOND DIFFERENCES, MENTAL ILLNESS, AND DEATH, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, MARTIN SAWA, MIND SUCCESS AUTHOR.

In our tumultuous world of differences and conflicts, it’s good news when we can find love and harmony. On Love University (loveuniversity.love), we had the pleasure of listening to a special guest, Martin Sawa, Bay Area real estate entrepreneur and author. During his appearance on the show, Martin shared his insights on loving despite differences, and beyond death, as we discussed his fascinating memoir of money, life, tragedy, and love: The Other Side of Success: Money and Meaning in the Golden State (martinsawa.com). Here are some of the useful lessons we learned from Martin’s courageous and insightful book:

 

Successful Interracial marriages are about love, not differences. Martin married interracially three times, with two African American women and a Choctaw Native American (his first wife). He says he loved his wives dearly in different ways, yet their racial/cultural differences were not the most important thing. He says that once you get down to the business of day-to-day living, the keys for a successful marriage are the shared values you have with your mate, and the ability to treat each other as loving equals. Also, Martin advises, “Choose someone you can’t live without; a soul mate who is also a friend, lover, mentor, and spiritual partner. When you choose correctly, you will enjoy lasting love compatibility and a happy marriage.

Mental illness or psychological problems don’t have to define you.  Martin admitted that he was an alcoholic, as was his father.  Although he was a successful real estate entrepreneur, making deals on multimillion-dollar properties, he was also drinking excessively. The turning point was when he had a one night stand with an ex-girlfriend and admitted it to his wife (she was intuitive and already knew).  Giving him one more chance, his wife offered Martin the motivation to quit drinking and to be the husband and father he wanted to be. Also, by reuniting with his paranoid schizophrenia sister (she disappeared for 20 years), Martin learned how to love and accept her as she was, and they enjoyed a marvelous five years together before she died.

You can love after death and beyond eternity.  When his beloved second wife, Anita, died suddenly in the bathroom just before they were about to meet a couple for dinner, Martin was grief-stricken and shattered. Searching desperately for answers, he consulted spiritual intuitives, studied Eastern religions, and delved into philosophy and psychology.  The spiritual intuitives reassured him that “She fluffs the pillows of you (supports you even after her death)” and “She is waiting for you; when you die, you will join her as if no time had passed.”  In an amazing revelation, one of the spiritual intuitives told Martin that Anita had left a rose petal in her bible for him. He opened her bible and for the first time saw the rose petal as well as scriptures she had highlighted for him before her death.  It was as if she had prepared for her departure and wanted to comfort her husband in her passing.  Martin says he learned many valuable lessons from the death of his beloved wife: 1. Don’t take life for granted. Because today could be your last day, make sure you say “I love you” to your loved ones and go for your dreams, 2. Be good and do better, and 3. Pray daily in gratitude for the good things you have received and the well-being of others.

Martin concludes by advising you to “Have skin in the game.”  Whatever you get involved with, whoever you are in a relationship with, give it your all. Make sure you invest the majority of your time, energy, money, and spiritual attention on the project or person you care the most about. When you do this, you will create a loving energy that lasts beyond death and leaves a legacy for all to see.

HOW TO RESIST EVIL AND TRIUMPH OVER TRAGEDY: WITH AWARD-WINNING NOVELIST, PABLO ZARAGOZA, AUTHOR OF “THE RELUCTANT NAZI”

 

 

 

In a world of evil and strife, there is a silver lining.  We can find good and love in the world if we look for it and develop it within ourselves. This was the message we learned from our good friend and acclaimed author, Pablo Zaragoza (PABLOZARAGOZABOOKS.COM), on Love University. In his latest blockbuster novel, The Reluctant Nazi, Pablo tells the story of a young Nazi SS officer, Hans, who turns against the evil of the Third Reich and helps bring healing to those who suffer and justice to those who oppress. In the process, Hans redeems himself and discovers a new way to live based on love and compassion.  Here are some of the lessons of triumph over evil and redemption and that we learned from Pablo:

 

*We don’t have to follow evil leaders.  In the famous Milgram shock experiment, nearly 2/3 of student volunteers followed the instructions of the experimenter and gave a maximum 450 volts of electric shock to a middle-aged man, which may have been enough to kill him (he said he had a heart condition). Although the middle-aged man didn’t exist (it was a tape recording), the results shocked the world. How could supposedly normal college students exhibit such cruelty? The answer is that we are conditioned in society to obey authority, no matter how wrong or evil.  Although this concept has some truth, those who disobeyed and didn’t shock the man did so under certain conditions: 1.When two experimenters gave conflicting instructions to the students (“Shock” and “Don’t shock”), the student didn't shock as much 2. When the middle-aged man was seated next to the student, fewer students shocked all the way to the maximum (they saw him as a real human being), and 3.  When other students in the room said, “Don’t shock,” only 10% of the students obeyed the experimenter's command to shock the man. These variations reveal a powerful truth: When we are faced with evil and hatred, we can resist these destructive forces by banding together with compassionate and conscientious individuals to do the right thing. In this way, we can bring love where there was hate, and compassion where there was cruelty.  

 

*We can find meaning in tragedy and love in suffering. Esteemed psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps. He witnessed frail-looking prisoners who were able to survive several years in the most dehumanizing circumstances, while some strong, sturdy-looking prisoners died very quickly. The difference was that the survivors had “a will to meaning”; they had an overriding purpose for their lives and faith that they would experience good things in the future. Perhaps, they wanted to write a book, be with their spouse again, or see their children/grandchildren graduate from the university. This overriding mission or purpose is what drove them to live, despite a horrible and hopeless environment.  In the same way, you need to find a purpose or meaning for your life.  Perhaps, it’s to be a good parent, to create something valuable for the world, or to be a caring and loving person who helps others.  On a daily basis remind yourself of your mission and take the steps to accomplish it. By doing so, you will achieve your fullest potential and experience joy, love, and peace.  

 

*We can redeem ourselves by doing good. As a medical doctor, Pablo worked in the Florida prisons with some of the most vicious and hardened prisoners, including murderers like serial killer, Aileen Wuornos, the twisted inspiration behind the Academy Award winning performance by Charlize Theron in the movie Monster. In his work with the prisoners, Pablo observed cases of redemption and transformation. In one case, he remembers a medical doctor who had been sentenced to prison for overprescribing certain drugs. He lost his liberty, reputation, and medical license, among other things.  Yet, in his apparently hopeless situation, the doctor stopped thinking about his own plight and started helping other inmates who had medical issues. In one incident, he diagnosed an inmate with a serious venereal disease and helped save the patient’s eyesight.  After helping many inmates with his medical knowledge, he eventually left prison, regained his medical license, and started working for a nonprofit clinic.  Pablo reminds us that we, as human beings, have the capacity to change.  Instead of getting down on yourself, and feeling bad and worthless about your past mistakes, realize that you can change given the right circumstances. You can redeem yourself from the bad things you have done by doing good. You can give to the homeless and needy, volunteer at charitable/humanitarian organizations, and provide emotional support to your loved ones and those who are suffering.  

Pablo’s message is simple, but powerful. You can triumph over evil and bad circumstances by finding meaning in your life and believing in the power of redemption.  As a creation of a Higher Nature, you have the capacity to find the love and compassion that exists within you.  You can vanquish darkness and replace it with loving energy as you leave a lasting legacy of goodness and love for all to see.

BECOME A MASTER COUPLE AND CREATE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, WITH KYLE BENSON, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP COACH AND FORMER RESEARCHER FOR THE WORLD RENOWNED GOTTMAN MARRIAGE INSTITUTE

 

It’s Spring and love is in the air. Would you like to improve your relationship and keep your love strong and fulfilling? Now you can with some of the valuable tips we learned from our guest on Love University, Kyle Benson, intimate relationship coach.  Kyle worked with Dr. John Gottman, the world-renowned marriage researcher who can accurately predict whether a marriage will fail or succeed by observing a couple's communication style for a short period of time. Now a popular relationship coach, Kyle shared his insights on how to become a “Master Couple,” and build a harmonious and joyful relationship. Master couples are those who can manage conflict well and are each other’s best friends. Master couples are able to:

 

*Know each other’s Love Maps:   Master couples know each other intimately and thoroughly—they have a “Love Map” to their partner. On an everyday basis, you can learn your partner’s love map by asking open-ended questions and getting to know your love partner’s deepest values, preferences, fears, joys, and desires (“What are you afraid of? What makes you happy?”).  Love is really a “deep understanding of another.”  The more you know about each other, the closer you will feel.

 

*Turn toward each other: Master couples listen to and support each other.  When one of them makes a remark, “Look at that beautiful bird over there,”  the other may reply, “Yes, it’s beautiful.” Disaster couples, on the other hand, either argue (“Stop wasting your time; get the chores done), or ignore each other (stay on their phone).  Turning toward each other is important because it shows that you care enough to listen to your partner and affirm them.

 

*Give each other the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes your partner may make a mistake or may do something that irritates or bothers you. When they don’t do something that you asked them to do (go to the store), don’t be too quick to jump on them with criticism (“You’re lazy”). Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt and ask, “Are you tired? Did you have a tough day at work?" When you demonstrate empathy like this, your partner will appreciate your kindness and will return the favor.

 

*Fill their love bank.  Master couples make more positive than negative statements to their partner (“Honey, I love the way you make love,” “You’re so smart”). Disaster couples do the opposite. They start their conversations with negatives (“You never…Why do you did this?”) and continue with more negatives (“You’re stupid; you’re a jerk”).  When you and your partner sincerely compliment and express gratitude for each other's good traits and helpful behaviors, you build a love bank: a repository of all the good energies and feelings that can help your relationship get through the tough times. Make a daily deposit—say something nice, loving, and heartfelt to your mate—and you will fill your love bank account. In the process, you will build a strong and loving relationship.

 

*Repair the relationship. Even Master couples disagree and fight with each other—sometimes quite loudly and forcefully. The difference between them and the disaster couples is that they know how to repair the relationship. In the midst of a heated argument, one of them will say something funny, or perhaps offer a soothing physical gesture (hug or touch) to de-escalate the situation. They may also take an intelligent timeout (“Honey, this is getting heated. I’m going for a walk and will be back in ten minutes. Is it OK if we talk then?”). As a result of their repair attempts, the relationship can survive hurt feelings, and the couple can work things out without harboring resentments that will come back later to damage the relationship.

 

Yes, you and your partner can become a Master Couple—a romantic pairing of truth, light, and love.  You and your mate can practice the techniques of Kyle and Gottman to create a powerful, lasting, and loving relationship that stands the test of time. Start today and tell your partner how much you love them and can’t live without them—then demonstrate your love with small gestures and actions. When you do this, you will ride the wave of a beautiful love that serves as an example of relationship greatness for your children and everyone around you. Enjoy: Love is the greatest gift of all.

EVERYTHING YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DATING, SEX, AND ROMANCE: WHAT YOUR MAMA DIDN’T TELL YOU AND YOUR PAPA DIDN’T KNOW. WITH MARNI BATTISTA, DATING EXPERT EXTRAORDINAIRE

There is a lot of misinformation out there about dating, romance, and love. Our guest on Love

University, Marni Battista, dating and relationship expert, shed some light on some of the

misconceptions about dating and how to break through to find the love of your life. Here are some

of the nuggets of wisdom that we learned from Marni:

 

*Find your love center.  Your love center is the strong and powerful part of you; confident, sexy, and lovable. To find your love center, practice self-care.  Eat right, exercise, meditate or engage in a spiritual practice.  Love yourself and you will have the confidence and energy to attract the love of your life. 

 

*Erase your negative self-talk.  Negative self-talk, what you say to yourself, is one of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to finding love. Perhaps, you’ve indulged in negative self-talk about finding a love partner, thinking, “All the good ones are taken,” “Or I live in a terrible place to find the right match.”  According to Marni, there is no wrong place or right place, geographically, to find your love partner. You can find love in Alaska just as easily as you can find it in Manhattan. The important factor in finding your soul mate is your self-talk—what you say to yourself in your inner thoughts.  Instead of believing that “All the good ones are taken,” you can say, “I will find the right one for me by doing the things I love and being authentically me.”  With a positive self-talk mentality about dating and love, you will be more motivated, confident, and persistent in your soul mate journey. Also, by maintaining a positive attitude and good humor, you will be more attractive to others. Consequently, you will have a better chance of finding an ideal partner who is attracted to your good charm and positive energy.

 

*Get out of your cozy comfortable condo.  Mani uses the condo metaphor to describe a single person who is comfortable staying home and not risking emotional rejection or failure in the dating world. Yet, this existence is not really comfortable because the pangs of loneliness and lovelessness gnaw at the isolated single person. The key is to get out of your shell and think of the positive energy you’re able to generate when you do something you love, whether it’s art, science, exercise, working with your hands, helping people, or a meditative/spiritual practice. Imagine that when you go out and meet eligible singles, you are carrying the same energy with you. Once you visualize this powerful and attractive energy within you, it’s time for you to go out and meet quality people. You can go out physically or online and meet like-minded people who share similar interests and hobbies. When you do that, you’ll increase your likelihood of meeting a compatible person who resonates with your style. 

 

*Date with dignity.  Marni tells her coaching students to believe in their own dignity and self-worth. Instead of having the “Pick me” desperate mentality (hoping someone will choose them for love), they can rearrange their thinking and create an “I am irresistible” vibe about themselves. When singles increase their self-worth, they will naturally attract the person who harmonizes with their authentic nature.

 

Yes, you can find date with dignity and live courageously. Dating and finding the right person takes

effort and courage, but you can accomplish your love goals.  According to Marni, the love quest is

based on a paradoxical approach.  On one hand, you need to treat dating like your career and put

effort on achieving clearly defined goals (getting your wardrobe and pictures together for dating

apps, participating in social groups with like-minded people; going on x number of dates to find the

right love match).  On the other hand, you need to give up the fight. Stop trying so hard to make

that special someone like you, or to get married by a certain time. Instead, you should focus on

loving yourself, being the best you can be, and extending your positive and loving energy without

expectation into the world. When you do that, you will attract the right love partner for you, and

you will enjoy a lifetime of happiness.

CAN ROBOTS WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE, BE A PERFECT SPOUSE, AND RULE THE WORLD? SECRETS FROM THE FUTURE WITH DR. DONALD HOFFMAN, INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED COGNITIVE SCIENTIST

In our fascinating discussion with Dr. Donald Hoffman, renowned cognitive scientist, we learned some fascinating insights about the future of artificial intelligence and robots, and how they will impact our lives. Here’s what we learned:

 

*In the future, artificial intelligence can beat us at everything. Already, companies are creating mobile robots that are no longer stuck in the mainframe. These AIs can run, do gymnastics, and in the future will be able to create amazing art, write insightful prose, and compose beautiful music.  Dr. Hoffman predicts that an artificial intelligence will one day win the Nobel Prize for art or literature.

 

*People are interested in robots as love mates.  According to Dr. Hoffman, inventors are working on very human-like, realistic “robot mates” that are even more attractive than humans.  Dr. Hoffman uses the term, Supernormal Stimuli, to describe these robots. Supernormal stimuli refers to natural stimuli that have been enhanced in some way; something that is larger than life and stimulates our desire and attraction for it.  Dr. Hoffman cites the example of the male Jewel Beetle in Australia. Male Jewel Beetles in Western Australia look to mate with females who are dimpled, glossy, and brown (this is their shortcut to knowing it’s a female).  However, when Australians started throwing their beer bottles that looked like the females—but more enhanced—the males preferred the bigger, browner, and glossier bottles instead of the real females. The males tried to mate with the bottles while ignoring the actual female Jewel Beetles, and they almost became extinct as result.  In a similar way, humans may be more attracted to these enhanced robot mates because the robot version has the best elements and features of the human form, without any of its imperfections (no bad hair, bad skin, or moody disposition). Love with a robot, anyone?

 

*Can Robots rule the world?  In the classic “Terminator” series with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a company creates an artificial intelligence network, Skynet, that develops awareness and then starts a nuclear war against humans. Dr. Hoffman believes that artificial intelligence may be able to adopt certain negative human traits such as deception and taking advantage of others.  At the same time, Dr. Hoffman is skeptical that we can infuse robots/AI with what makes us human—unconditional love and spiritual awareness—or that we can take unconscious ingredients (software, circuits) and turn them into consciousness. However, he does see a possibility where we can open up new portals in existing consciousness in which we can see something that looks like Artificial Intelligence with human elements.

 

Artificial intelligence will continue to develop and can be used to enhance our lives in many ways, including life-saving medical applications. At the same time, we need to remember that the one thing that differentiates us from artificial intelligence is our capacity to love without expectation. As long as we maintain and extend our positivity and loving energy, we can use technology, artificial intelligence, and other innovations to make this world a better and happier place.

 

HOW TO GET A BLACK BELT IN THE BEDROOM AND BE A LUSCIOUS LOVER: SECRETS OF LOVE, SEX, AND ROMANCE WITH SPECIAL GUEST, JACQUELINE HELLYER, INTERNATIONAL SEX AND LOVE ADVICE QUEEN

Would you like to be the best lover you can possibly be? Now you can become an ideal lover in every sense of the word: romantically, sexually, and lovingly. You can earn a black belt in the bedroom and become a luscious lover if you follow the advice of our guest on Love University: Jacqueline Hellyer, internationally renowned sex and love expert. During our delightful talk, Jacqueline enlightened us on the seven stages of loving fully and deeply:

*Find your love center.  Take an inventory of the kind of person and lover you are right now.  What do you want in a love relationship?  What do you have to offer? Recognize your strengths—sense of humor, intelligence, compassion, and so forth—and make sure that you respect and appreciate who you are as a human being, and as a lover.

*Engage other people with confidence.  Once you’re aware of your strengths and talents, your next step is to lead with your talents when you interact with others or spend time with your loved one.  If you’re funny, tell jokes and engage in humorous and spicy wordplay to break the ice and show your romantic interest in someone.  If you’re good at arranging sensual and aesthetic details, make sure you create a romantic and sexy environment for you and your love mate, with dim lights, relaxing music, soothing lotions, aromatic fragrances, and tasty morsels.

*Be light and playful. Nothing is sexier than being light-hearted, spontaneous, and playful with your love partner.  Tickle each other, chase each other around the house, and play fun games in which you award prizes to the winner (a kiss, massage). When you have fun and play with your mate like this, you will remember that you are light-hearted spirits who reside in biological bodies.  As you play, you can drop the seriousness and pretentiousness of adult life and enjoy the joy of being alive with your love.

*Offer Empathy:  Empathy is a powerful aphrodisiac.  Empathy means putting yourself in your love partner’s shoes—feeling as they feel.  The truth is that lovemaking doesn’t just start in the bedroom; it begins with empathy in everyday moments. Empathy is the foreplay that sparks romantic attraction and arousal. Lovemaking begins when you make coffee for your partner to help them start their day; when you rub their feet after they’ve had a hard day at work.  When you’re empathetic, you align yourself with your lover’s heart and mind, and they will feel that you truly care about them.  You want what is best for them as they feel the same about you. When a couple has empathy for each other, they will feel more sexual attraction and passion because they know that their love is secure. 

*Seduce your partner. Even if you’ve been married or together for a number of years, it’s important that you keep seducing your partner—romance them like you did when you first met.  Sadly, many people take love for granted. They work at their day job for forty hours per week, and they exercise for several hours per week, but they don’t take even one hour to work on their love relationship—one of the most important contributors to their happiness in life. Decide today that you will keep seducing and romancing your partner just like you did in the honeymoon stage.  Take them to special places, make homemade gifts, please them in the bedroom, show them that you love them in special and creative ways. If you keep seducing your partner, your love and sex life will continue to be strong and satisfying.

*Become a master of love.  Study love in all of its variations. Observe happy couples who have been together a long time and still have that spark in their relationship and love life. Notice the secrets that keep their love strong and apply them to your own love life. Read e-books, and listen to podcasts and videos, about how to have great love and sex. Use what you learn to enhance your own relationship. Keep a journal in which you write down the things that you and your partner enjoy the most in the bedroom. Also, note the romantic adventures that bring both of you the greatest pleasure. Be sure to implement the tips and tactics you have learned on a weekly basis to enhance your sex and love life with your mate.

*Let go of control and surrender to your love. This last phase is the most delicious and the most delicate. Many people are afraid to fully fall in love and surrender their heart to another person. They are too afraid of being hurt. Even if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they still hold back a part of themselves—their trust; their vulnerability—fearful that the other person will end up hurting them. This is the wrong approach. Once you’ve established a sense of security and trust with your love mate, it’s important that you let go of your preconditions and defenses. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with your partner—as they do the same with you—and you will enjoy a wonderfully passionate and sensual relationship that keeps getting better every day.

One of the greatest lessons we can learn is to fuse sexuality, love, and spirituality together into a powerful instrument of joy and happiness. Unfortunately, many people try to separate them. They see sex as either something to be ashamed about, or something to pursue without reservation, until it becomes an obsession or even an addiction. Others see spirituality as a separate holy vehicle for transcendence that doesn’t include carnal or bodily pleasures like sex. In reality, the Higher Nature (God, spirit, energy) created sex for humans, not just to procreate or to experience pleasure, but to bond with each other at the deepest level of spiritual connection. The next time you make love with your partner, think of your lovemaking as a form of spiritual meditation in which you imagine that you and your loved one are floating on clouds as spiritual entities. When you come down from the clouds, you will say to your partner, “Hello, it’s you,” as you recognize that your spiritual natures are inhabiting your bodies. On a regular basis, make it your goal to enjoy the best love, sex, and joy you possibly can with the person you care the most about. When you do this, you will have one of the greatest gifts you can receive during your lifetime on earth. You will experience the joy of loving and being loved—deeply, and without holding anything back.  

WHY TIME AND SPACE ARE NOT REAL, YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH A ROBOT, AND GOD IS A MATHEMATICAL FORMULA: AMAZING LESSONS FROM DR. DONALD HOFFMAN, WORLD-RENOWNED COGNITIVE SCIENTIST

Did you know that what you see is not real?  Most of us think that our senses tell us the truth.  You see the moon and think that the moon exists even if you don’t. That is not necessarily true, says our distinguished guest on Love University, Donald Hoffman, world-leading cognitive scientist and evolutionary theorist. According to Dr. Hoffman’s theory of conscious realism, what we see is only an interface—an icon or desktop—that simplifies our perception. What lies beyond is a mystery we haven’t yet solved.  During his appearance on Love University (apple.co/2KMhRbe), Dr. Hoffman enlightened and amazed us with his science-based observations of human life, the Universe, and our future, as follows:

 

*How to be a lion and not a rabbit.  Lions sleep up to 18 hours a day because they are the King of the Jungle—they can rest easy knowing that they are not about to be eaten by another animal. The rabbit, on the other hand, is always looking around worried that it could be someone’s meal. In today’s society, many people are rabbits—dominated by fear, worry, and stress. To become a lion--confident and secure—Dr. Hoffman recommends practicing silent meditation. Dr. Hoffman meditates silently for three hours every day, which helps him develop a mindset of creativity, peace, and personal power.  Follow Dr. Hoffman’s example and meditate 15 minutes a day at first and then gradually increase it. Close your eyes and let the thoughts come in and out of your mind without focusing on any one thought. As you practice this, your thoughts will diminish and you will have a peaceful and relaxed mind.

 

 

*Go for the evolutionary shortcut.  According to Evolutionary Game Theory, there are certain strategies that can help organisms live long enough to mate and reproduce—to pass along their genes. These strategies are shortcuts that conserve valuable resources such as time and energy. For example, humans learned how to distinguish between a nutritious plant and a poisonous one by its shape, color, and texture. With this rule of thumb, or heuristic, they could save a lot of time (and prevent sickness and death) by only gathering the plants that would be healthy and nutritious while avoiding the poisonous plants that could harm them.  In the same way, you need to find what works best for you in relationships, business, and health, and keep doing what is most effective and efficient for you. If you want to lose weight, and you hate exercise, then it would be wise for you to learn the best diet approaches that work with your taste buds and metabolism. Therefore, if you want to make a lasting change in your life, invest in shortcuts that meet your needs and match your personality. Stop wasting time, energy, and emotional resources on plans and strategies that don’t work for you,

 

*Why we’re attracted to supernormal stimuli.  Drawing from examples in the animal kingdom and human life, Dr. Hoffman tells us why organisms, including humans, are often attracted to natural stimuli that have been enhanced in some way, also known as Supernormal Stimuli.  He tells us about the Jewel Beetle in Western Australia who look to mate with females who are dimpled, glossy, and brown (this is their shortcut to knowing it’s a female).  However, when Australians started throwing their beer bottles that looked like the females—but more enhanced—the males preferred the bigger, browner, and glossier bottles to the real females. The males tried to mate with the bottles while ignoring the actual female Jewel Beetles, and they almost became extinct as result.  In a human example, Dr. Hoffman talks about the future rise of robots as love and romantic companions—perhaps even life partners—as some humans may be more attracted to the robots because they are enhanced versions of the human form. In everyday life, Dr. Hoffman talks about how humans use makeup, plastic surgery, and eye-catching clothes—supernormal stimuli—to enhance their desirability and attractiveness for mating purposes as well as for social advantage.  Advertisers are also skilled at using supernormal stimuli to sell their products by making their commercials and advertisements appear larger than life.

 

*Can Artificial Intelligence develop a human Mind and take over the world?  In the classic “Terminator” series with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a company creates an artificial intelligence network, Skynet, that develops awareness and then starts a nuclear war against humans.  Could that happen to us? Although it seems far-fetched, Dr. Hoffman tells us that artificial intelligence is no longer just in the computer mainframe—now there are mobile robots that can walk, run, and even do gymnastics. Someday, Dr. Hoffman says, AI will beat us at everything—creating great art, poetry, literature, and music; making scientific discoveries; and winning the Pulitzer Prize.  Also, he believes that AI may be able to mimic certain negative human traits such as deception and taking advantage of others.  At the same time, Dr. Hoffman is skeptical that we can infuse robots/AI with what makes us human—unconditional love and spiritual awareness—or that we can take unconscious ingredients (software, circuits) and turn them into consciousness. However, he does see a possibility where we can open up new portals in existing consciousness in which we can see something that looks like Artificial Intelligence with human elements. The future awaits us, says Dr. Hoffman.

 

*God is infinite possibility and endless exploration. Dr. Hoffman, the son of a minister, is working on a mathematical formula for God. His goal is to create a way to measure an objective reality known as “God.”  Initially, he has defined God as an infinite conscious agent (a conscious actor) with infinite possibilities. He says this is a good start but we need to explore deeper. There are important aspects that need to be considered in the mathematical formula of God, including unconditional love, also known as Agape, Karuna (compassion), or Karuna (devotion. Dr. Hoffman says that one promising idea that incorporates the necessary depth for the theory is to consider that God consists of an endless exploration of all possible varieties of consciousness. Dr. Hoffman agrees that there is much more we need to learn about this infinite consciousness which we call God. It’s like many great thinkers have said at the end of their lives “The one thing I have learned is that I know nothing.” There is always more for us to learn and explore in this beautiful and amazing cosmos of ours.

 

Dr. Hoffman leaves us with the idea that there are many possibilities and situations in life, and we need every type of human being to make this world a great place. We need Introverts to think deeply, Extroverts to communicate ideas, Feelers to give us warmth and caring, and Thinkers to analyze and solve problems.  The key to human evolution into a state of unity—what Pierre Teilhard de Chardin called the Omega point—is to constantly adapt. We need to keep learning, growing, giving, and above all, extending loving energy without expectation. More than simply passing along our genes to the next generation, our aim should be to leave a lasting legacy of love and peace for all who follow us. That is the true inheritance we can leave the world.

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO YOUR PHONE: HOW TO BE THE MASTER OF TECHNOLOGY AND NOT ITS SLAVE

Are you addicted to your phone? 2/3 of phone users have “Nomophobia” –the fear of being without their phone or phone service. In some ways, excessive phone use is like other forms of addiction in which you experience pleasure (dopamine brain chemicals), but then suffer from withdrawals (anxiety, sadness) when you’re not able to use your phone. If you find yourself wasting too much time on your phone, and your work or relationships are suffering, then it may be time for you to try the Phone Addiction Cure.  Apply these techniques so you can use your phone for useful and beneficial purposes, instead of using it too much for the wrong reasons: negative news, distractions, compulsive activities, or excessive social media comparisons.

 

*Keep track of your phone use.  You can use an app or journal to become aware of how often you use your phone daily and what you do on the phone.  With this awareness, you can decide to limit your phone use to your most important goals or objectives. 

 

*Take a phone fast.  If you discover that you're using the phone too much for nonproductive or harmful activities (comparing yourself to people who seem better off on social media), then it's time to turn off your phone or devices for a while. You can turn them off for an hour or for a few hours at a time. When you first do this, you may have the feeling of "FOMO”—fear of missing out—but you will soon realize that most of the time, you didn't really miss out on anything important.  Instead, you will start to experience a tremendous feeling of relaxation and peace. You will realize that you no longer have to constantly and immediately respond to the demands of other people; you don’t have to keep up with every single piece of information in the Universe. You can relax and be at peace. 

 

*Substitute healthy activities. When was the last time you had a long talk with a good friend, or leisurely enjoyed reading an interesting book?  Instead of being on your phone all the time, do activities that refresh and energize you. Exercise, spend fun time with family and friends, read, meditate, do creative projects, hobbies, and crafts; engage in a spiritual practice. When you’re tempted to reach for your phone to distract yourself, or to alleviate your sadness or loneliness, do a fun and healthy activity instead.

 

*Love yourself, others, and a higher nature.  Addictive phone users may not feel good about themselves so they use the phone—and all the things connected with it (gaming, shopping, social media, gambling)—to feel better about themselves. Short circuit these negative patterns by loving yourself. Take good care of your health—diet, exercise, sleep, meditative/spiritual practice—and tell yourself that you are a strong and loving person. Also, give love to others without expectation—smile, pay sincere compliments, help others—without expecting anything in return. Finally, love a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature, goodness)—something that is beyond you. When you do this, you will have a greater perspective and meaning in life, and you will feel better about your existence on earth.

 

Yes, you can be the master over your phone. Your phone can be a very wonderful servant that brings you great convenience, opportunities, connections, information, entertainment, and inspiration. But, you must be the one that controls the phone and technology—using it as tool for growth, contribution, enjoyment, and love.  Make your phone an instrument of goodness and love, and you will enhance your life and help make the world a better place.

 

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Join Dr. Avila and Love University, February 12th 7PM for a ZOOM EVENT:  “FIND YOUR VALENTINE: ASKING THE 4 MAGIC QUESTIONS” based on Dr. Avila’s classic bestseller, LoveTypes, on Myers-Briggs personality types and love compatibility.  REGISTER NOW. FREE FOR THE FIRST 100 TO ENROLL: HTTP://bit.ly/35Vbg9H

ARE YOU CURSED IN DATING? HOW TO BREAK THE SPELL AND FIND TRUE LOVE, WITH SPECIAL GUEST JESS MCCANN, LOVE EXPERT ON “GOOD MORNING AMERICA”

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Do you feel like you’re cursed when it comes to dating and finding love?  The one you're attracted to doesn’t want you, and the person you’re not interested in wants you. Or, you date someone for a while, and everything seems great, but then they suddenly lose interest or disappear. If this has happened to you, cheer up.  There is good news coming your way—a cure for the dating curse.  Our guest on Love University, Jess McCann, renowned dating love expert, offered us the solution to breaking negative dating patterns and finding the love of your life.  Here are some important tips we learned from Jess:

 

*Determine your dating curse and find your solution.   According to Jess, singles have different kinds of self-defeating mental dating patterns (curses).  It’s important that you pinpoint which curse you have so you can break bad psychological habits and enjoy success in your soul mate search. Here are some common dating curse types and how to break the psychological spell:

 

      Worrier: You over worry about how the relationship will turn out. From the beginning, you want to ask a date if they're interested in marriage, family, and children; you also worry if they are a faithful or committed person. Worrying too much makes you seem desperate and can push a potential love partner away.   SOLUTION: Focus on the present—develop awareness of what you can enjoy about the person you’re with right now (or what you can learn from them).  

 

     Lamenter:  You have a lot of regret and are stuck in the past.  You remember how your past partner cheated on you, and you fear that your present dating partner will do the same. Or, you blame yourself for making mistakes in your previous relationships, and you are worried that you will make a similar mistake in the present one.  SOLUTION: Forgive yourself (and others) for the past so you can have a clear mind and conscience as you begin a new relationship.

 

    Inferior Mind:  You put yourself down:  “I’m not good enough for them (to find love).”  As a result you’re fearful of rejection, and you avoid interacting with the person you’re truly attracted to. Solution: Shift your focus from yourself to others—be more kind, giving, and loving. Smile at other people, help them with a task, compliment them sincerely. Doing so will reduce your self-consciousness and increase your social confidence.  Also, think of your favorite actor and practice acting like them at home in front of your mirror—imitate their posture, nonverbal expression, and speech; adopt their confidence and charisma. As you do this, you will develop more of the Actor (confident and spontaneous) part of your personality, and you will express it in everyday social encounters.

 

    Wanter:  You try to get an emotional “fix” from people, objects, and circumstances; you rely on external things to make you happy: shopping, dating, making money, or being recognized by others. Yet, once you get what you want (car, house, clothes, attractive person), you may get bored and lose interest. Then, you’re off to the next conquest. Unfortunately, you are never quite happy because you're not able to fully appreciate what you already have; you’re rarely satisfied. As a result, you may overlook the nice, emotionally stable mate because you are always in search of someone better. SOLUTION: Learn how to be mentally still—meditate quietly—without adding anything to your roaming and rushing thoughts. With practice, you can learn how to become satisfied with what you have. You will realize that your joy and contentment come don’t come from external sources—they come from within.  Now, you can be open to that nice, emotionally healthy and committed partner who fulfills you at the deepest level.

 

ContestantEverything is a competition or challenge for you.  You want to prove that you’re better than other people. If your best friend got married to a tall, handsome, successful man. you want to capture the heart of an even handsomer, taller, and more successful man. You may even be tempted to try to steal a love partner away from another person just for the challenge and thrill of it—to prove that you can win. Thinking this way is a terrible trap because you will never be satisfied with what you have, and you will hurt yourself and others in the process. SOLUTION: Instead of comparing yourself to other people who may have more than you, make sure you only compare yourself to yourself (previous self). See how much you can grow as a human being, and how much you can improve along the way.  You will be much happier as a result, and you will have a better chance to attract the love of your life.

 

Superior Mind: Whereas the Contestant wants to prove that they’re better than everyone else, the Superior Mind already knows they are superior.  As a result, they have a certain arrogance and entitled sense about them.  If you’re a Superior Mind, you may not think you need any advice because you believe everyone else has the problem—it’s not your fault if other people can’t recognize how brilliant and attractive you are. Unfortunately, you pay a big price for this attitude because you select mates based on superficial characteristics—looks, money, status—and how well they can complement your “greatness.”  As a result, you may miss out on someone who may not have those exact traits, but who could be a wonderfully loving and loyal mate for you if you only gave them a chance. SOLUTION:  Keep a “Judgmental Journal”:  Write down how much it hurts you when you quickly prejudge others in the dating world: “He doesn’t have enough hair,”  “She’s not tall enough,”  “He/she doesn’t make enough money.” When you do this, you realize how you may be eliminating great romantic prospects based on superficial reasons. Also, decide that you will experiment with dating a less physically attractive person who may have great inner traits—compassion, kindness, loyalty, spirituality. When you do this, you may find yourself falling in love with a beautiful person in the true sense of the word.

 

Yes, you can get rid of those frustrating dating and love curses—self-defeating thinking styles—that have held you back from finding the relationship of your dreams. Once you identify the negative mindset that is holding you back, you can take steps to liberate yourself from unproductive thinking patterns. As you do this, you will get rid of your old self-absorption (“Poor me” or “Look how great I am”), and you will start to see yourself and others in a more realistic and loving manner. Ultimately, you will realize that you can live in acceptance—of yourself and others. You will also be able to give love without expectations, which is the greatest secret for finding and keeping love.  Start today to be kind, nice, and loving to others, without expecting anything in return. When you do this, you will have deeper human interactions, and you will be one step closer to discovering the love of your life.

 

THE NEW GUY’S GUY: HOW MEN ARE CHANGING THEIR ATTITUDES ABOUT DATING, SEX, AND LOVE, WITH SPECIAL GUEST ROBERT MANNI, TOP DATING PODCASTER AND THE MALE’S SUCCESSOR TO “SEX AND THE CITY”

Have you ever wondered what guys are thinking when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships? If you’re a guy, have you ever wondered what women were thinking when it came to romance and relationships?  With so much confusion and discord between the sexes today, we need to find a point of harmony and balance in the search for true, lasting love. Now we have some insightful and important answers from our guest on Love University, Robert Manni, top dating podcaster and the male’s successor to “Sex and the City.”  Here are some of the nuggets of dating/love wisdom we learned from Robert:

The Guy’s Guy: the New Male standard.  According to Robert, the ideal male for our new generation is the Guy’s Guy.  He has a complementary blend of traits including casual confidence, unassuming strength, seductive integrity, and timeless style.  He also highly respects women (and himself), and he has emotional intelligence—he knows how to manage his feelings and relate to the feelings of others.  The Guy’s Guy is a strong man—he’s not a wimp—but he is also sensitive and empathetic to the concerns of women. He is a fun guy that both men and women like and want to be around.

How to be a Successful Single Guy’s Guy.  Robert instructs men on how to succeed in the competitive singles dating world. He tells men to pay attention to the woman (her preferences), practice dating etiquette (tip well, don’t drink too much, don’t overtalk), be a gentleman (open doors if she prefers it; text to make sure she got home safely; respect her sexual boundaries). Also, if you find yourself in the “friend zone,” be patient.  Over time, she may find you more attractive and a romantic relationship can ensue. If not, you can always benefit from having a friend. However, you also need to realize when it’s time to move on romantically—don’t keep investing your emotional and romantic energy in someone who is not interested in you. Love yourself and find someone who loves you in the same way.

How to be a Successful Married Guy’s Guy.  Before tying the knot, the Guy’s Guy needs to ask several important questions: 1. Am I ready to commit?  2. What do I visualize in my future with this person—can I fulfill their expectations as well as my own by being together? Do they make me laugh?  Are we compatible in the areas of values, children, sex, money, politics, and religion/spirituality? Do I want to grow old with them—remembering that looks fade, but inner beauty lasts forever.  Robert shares that he was happily single for many years living in New York City. One day, he was with his Italian family, and they asked him for the umpteenth time, “Robert, when are you going to get married?” On this occasion, he said, “Next year.” They asked him, “Who is it?” He replied “No one yet.”  However, within the year he was engaged and married to his lovely wife. The secret: He had decided to “Make room in my heart for someone special in my life.” Once he made that mental commitment to find lasting love and get married, he created an open space for that beautiful person who became his wife to appear in his life.

According to Robert, the new Guy’s Guy can be male or female. Regardless of gender the Guy’s Guy is a quality person who is confident, kind, respectful, fun, and loving.  The key to being a true Guy’s Guy is to love yourself, others, and a higher nature, without expectation. With this mindset, you won’t expect anything in return when you love because you already have loving energy inside you. You can give as much loving energy as you want because you have more love where that came from. In a practical way, strive every day to extend your loving energy outwardly to others and the Universe. Smile at others, be kind and helpful, listen attentively and empathetically.  As you become a more loving person, you will find yourself attracting the love you desire, and you will eventually meet the soul mate of your dreams.

GOD IS PURE LOVE: THE SOLUTION TO ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS, WITH NEALE DONALD WALSCH, “CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD” #1 NY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND MODERN DAY SPIRITUAL MESSENGER

In our turbulent and conflict-ridden world, you may ask yourself: If God exists, why does God allow all of the bad and evil things to happen in the world?  We learned some fascinating answers in our interview with Neale Donald Walsh, modern day spiritual messenger and NY Times Bestselling author of the Conversations with God series. In our enlightening discussion, Neale shared his wisdom about the God Solution based on his latest book, The God Solution: The Power of Pure Love. According to Neale, by re-envisioning God as a God of Pure Love, your life can change instantly.  Here’s what we learned:

 

*God is Pure Love. Many religious/spiritual traditions talk about God as love. Yet, in a deeper sense, God is Pure Love, or unconditional love.  Known by different terms—Bhakti (devotion), Karuna (compassion), or Agape (unconditional love), this Pure Love is constantly expressed by God, and is always within us since we were created in the image of God. God simply loves to create, and God wants to empower all sentient beings to create what they wish to experience.  This type of Pure Love is one with no strings attached.  Just like we love our small child, no matter what, God loves us in the same way. Although we make mistakes and act human, God understands that and still loves us. With this knowledge, you can stop beating yourself up for mistakes and regrets—recognizing that you are a special child of divinity who is made up of Pure Love.

 

*Forgiveness is not necessary at the highest level.  At a certain beginner’s level of spiritual development, forgiveness can be useful. Someone close to you is hurt by your actions, and they feel better when you say, “I’m sorry.”   Yet, at a higher spiritual level, forgiveness is not necessary. If someone hurts you emotionally or physically (they said a cruel thing), they may hurt your ego, but they cannot hurt your soul or spirit. Similarly, if you engaged in a self-destructive habit or addiction, you may have hurt your mental, emotional, or physical state, but you can never hurt your everlasting spirit or soul.  What you need at this point is understanding—a deep knowledge of how you are hurting yourself so you can stop doing it and take better care of yourself. Once you fully understand yourself and others, you don’t need to forgive or be forgiven.  It’s like a grandpa who is at the dinner table about to eat a delicious piece of apple pie made by mom.  The 4-year-old is so eager to give grandpa a piece of her pie that she accidentally spills milk on grandpa. Grandpa doesn’t need to forgive the four year-old because he understands that she acted like a four-year-old. He would only comfort her when she cried. In the same way we can comfort those who act like immature children because they don’t know any better. Our understanding leads to empathy—putting ourselves in their shoes—and to Pure Love.

 

*Every act is an act of love, even bad and evil actions.  People do everything for love, even bad and self-destructive acts based on misguided love.  A car thief loves a car so much that he will try to steal it, even though he knows doing so could cost his freedom.  A drug addict loves the feeling they receive when they partake in their addiction.  The key to joy and happiness is to redirect your love to the Higher Nature (God, spirit) so that your life will be filled with Pure Love (unconditional).  Every day, strive to build up your reservoir of Pure Love. Read spiritual materials, listen to self-help podcasts or videos, practice meditation, and engage in acts of Loving Kindness: smile at others, listen empathetically, and help those who are needy, disadvantaged, or lonely. When you extend loving energy without expectation on a daily basis, you build up a habit of Pure Love.  With Pure Love in your mind and heart, you cannot be hurt by the actions of others or by the random events of the world.  You simply overflow with a positive and benevolent energy that only wants to give, love, serve, and grow. You can never lose when you live from the mind of Pure Love.

 

*Always ask yourself:  How would God respond? When you face obstacles and challenges in the world, you may be tempted to react with fear, sadness,  regret, or anger.  Someone cuts you off on the road, and you feel like exploding with anger.  At this moment, you need to ask yourself how God would react here.  Since God is Pure Love, God would understand and empathize with the inconsiderate driver. Perhaps, they are rushing to the hospital to see their dying elderly parent or injured child, and that is why they are driving that way. Or, maybe they’re just having a bad day and can’t help themselves from driving this way. When you start to see people from their point of view, and treat them as they would like to be treated, suddenly your world changes.  You now feel connected and united to others as division and conflicts fall away. You realize that others are just like you—they fear, they hope; they get angry, they love; they live; they die; they grow and they learn.  Since you see yourself in others, you will no longer feel a need to fight, envy, or hate.  If you love yourself, you love others; if you love others, you love yourself.  Since God can only respond with Pure Love, and you are an individualized aspect of God, the Creator, then you can only respond with Pure Love. Always remember that Pure Love is your solution to all that ails you and the world.

 

When Neale was facing a quintuple bypass heart surgery and was being wheeled into the surgery room, he had only one thought:  “Either way, it’s OK.”  If he lived, he would be happy; if he died, he would be with God.  In this moment of realization, he understood the power of God’s Pure Love.  As a result, he was inspired to write a new book to spread his message of healing and inspiration to others who are also facing pain, uncertainty, and suffering.

 

Neale leaves us with four powerful questions you should ask yourself every day:

 

  1. Who am I?  Think about how you define your nature, your core essence. Is it Pure Love, or is it something else (envy, fear, regret, or anger)?
  2. Where am I? Consider where you are in life right now:  in your job, relationship, living environment, and lifestyle.  Maybe you feel stuck in a bad career or marriage.  Perhaps you’re unhappy with your lifestyle or health habits.  Or, you’re not satisfied with your spiritual or philosophical practice.  Take an inventory of yourself and your life today.
  3. Why am I here? Think about all of the actions you took that lead you to where you are now.  Perhaps, you didn’t listen to your gut instinct about that relationship, career, or financial choice. You knew better but you still fell for that bad habit, self-defeating action, or unhealthy relationship.
  4. What do I intend to do about this?  Think of your options to change your life. Maybe you will get marriage counseling; leave a bad career, start a business, or travel; begin a new spiritual practice; give more to others and extend loving energy to the world; say goodbye to toxic people and find those who harmonize with your authentic nature. In your plan to transform your life, think of ways you can align yourself with the Pure Love and creativity of God so you can fulfill your greatest potential as a happy and productive human being.

 

Live with Pure Love today, and you will manifest the power of God in your heart and soul. Despite any obstacles and problems you may face, everything in your life will be brighter and more joyful.  Enjoy.

 

 

ARE YOU BORN TO WIN? HOW TO MASTERMIND YOUR DREAM BUSINESS AND REACH YOUR MONEY AND LIFE GOALS , WITH SPECIAL GUEST, AMBER LILYESTROM, MARKETING DREAM GURU AND MAMAPRENEUR

Are you born to win? Although you may have your doubts at times, the answer from the Universe is a resounding “Yes.”  As a soul in the human container known as a body, you have been given certain gifts by virtue of being a child of the Higher Nature (God/spirit/nature).  Your “brand”—your unique mission statement—is your sacred opportunity to intersect with the people you care about and to express your authentic nature.  On Love University (loveuniversity.love, https://apple.co/2KMhRbe), we had the pleasure of welcoming Amber Lilyestrom, Marketing Dream Guru and Mamapreneur (www.amberlilyestrom.com) as she shared her secrets for finding your soul’s calling and creating success in your money, business, and personal life. Let’s take a look at some of her insights:

*Find your soul’s purpose in the space between.  While delivering her child, Amber had a near death experience—she couldn’t breathe. She left her body momentarily and saw her loved ones gathered around. When she surrendered to her Higher Nature, she came back into her body and asked herself the question: What would I want to hear at my eulogy—on the day of my funeral? She realized that “Sports marketer” was not enough.  She wanted to be an inspirer, dream creator, visionary author and speaker, as well as a mother and family woman. In the same way, ask yourself what you want to hear at your eulogy and what would be said now if you died today.  If you are not happy with where your life is now, decide to change today.  Change careers, start a business, find true love, travel, help humanity. Instead of struggling and chasing to live a life that does not reflect your soul’s purpose, relax, slow down, and meditate; find your big vision in the space between your efforts. By taking a self-inventory with the eulogy exercise, you will be surprised at the clarity you can gain about your life mission and what you want to accomplish while you are still alive in your body.

*Master your money mind.  Your money mind is a conglomeration of all the thoughts and feelings you have ever had about money, wealth, and prosperity.  You may have inherited negative money messages from your parents, peers, or teachers while growing up:  “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” “Too little money, too much work,” or “It’s too expensive.”  By incorporating the negative money voices of others into your mind, you may develop a “poverty mentality” in which you fear that you will never have enough money in life, and you and money will never get along. Or, you could develop an obsession or worship of money in which you think that money will solve all your problems (it won’t).   The right approach is to develop a “wealth mentality”—to recognize all of the abundance of resources in the universe, including money, love, creativity, health, and goodwill. At the same time, you can decide to have a creative, instead of a competitive mindset, in which you realize that all of us have unique talents and abilities, and there is enough money and resources to go around for everyone. All you need to do is find your unique niche in the world, your creativity and talent, and expand it—do what you love to do and the money and resources will come to you in abundance and ever-growing quantities. Then, use that money and resources to help yourself, your family, and your community—making the world a better and more loving place along the way. 

*Try softer. Many times, we struggle, chase, and work too hard.  You may be the type of person who is known as a perfectionist or workaholic—always trying to cram even more into an ever- decreasing day. Or, you may be someone who feels lethargic and unmotivated—you tried before to succeed in finances, career, and love, but you failed. Now you feel there is no use in trying anymore because you have only tasted failure, frustration, and rejection in the past. The good news is that there is a middle way—a path of balance—known as “effortless effort.” Recognized in Eastern approaches as “going with the flow” or “uniting with the energy force (Ki or Chi energy), effortless effort means that you will exert effort toward your goal but you will not be attached to your goal.  Instead of chasing and struggling toward certain goals, you will relax and stop trying so hard. You will pray, meditate, and think about your Higher Nature—God, nature, spirit—and ask your Higher Nature to guide you toward the right direction in your life, in the areas of finances, career, relationships, health, and lifestyle.  Just like the lilies of the field who are beautifully clothed but don’t think about their life, you will relax and accept the goodness, love, and peace that the Higher Nature has to offer you—naturally and without strain and effort. You will still work diligently and have discipline to achieve your objectives, but you will no longer worry and fret about the outcome. With your new relaxed, yet focused mindset, you will attract many of the wonderful blessings you desire, including lasting love with a soul mate, family and children, loyal friends, a great career, abundance in finances and resources, and wonderful life experiences.  The world is yours when you relax into the true power of your Higher Nature.

*Extend loving energy without expectation.  We live in a world of fear, doubt, and “What if.” On a daily basis, we are bombarded with negative news that start with phrases such as “What if (something terrible or bad happened)—the result is that our nerves are on edge and we are fearful for our future and the future of our children and their children.  In this world of fear, we have an antidote: it is called Loving Energy without expectation.  To love without expecting anything in return is the most powerful force in the Universe. It has been called many things by different traditions:  Agape (unconditional love), Bhakti (devotion), and Karuna (compassion). When you give love without expecting anything back, you are acting like the Higher Nature—the loving and powerful protector of the Universe.  The Higher Nature loves you because you are its creation—and that is all—you don’t have to prove your worth or do anything to earn your place on this earth. In the same way, you can extend loving energy to others without expectation on a daily basis. Smile, say “Hi,” give someone a sincere compliment. Listen empathetically to someone who is hurting.  Help a friend with a practical problem. Open the door for someone; help an elderly person cross the street;  give to charity; volunteer to help the needy and disadvantaged.  The key is that when you help others, you won’t expect anything in return—not even a smile or thank you. You give love because you are love—this love is the natural force that is already inside you and expands itself outwardly. When you extend loving energy without expectation, you will heal yourself, others, and the planet, and you will receive more love in return. In this way, the loving energy becomes an always-expanding cycle that continues even beyond your life on earth.

Yes, you were born for this. “This” means your ability to love, grow, learn, teach, experience, help, and create. You were born for your dream business or career, for your loving soul mate, family, and friends; for your health, prosperity, and happiness. As Amber says, you need to awaken to your soul’s calling and activate your talents for the good of the world.  When you do this, you will have momentum (moving forward), magnetism (attracting everything you need) and mastery over your own mind (no more fear and worry). You can create magic in the world because you are the magic that makes fear and problems disappear, and makes love and happiness miraculously appear in your life forevermore.

HOW TO BE FILTHY RICH WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY OR BAD ABOUT IT

Would you like to be rich—financially, emotionally, and spiritually?  When you are truly rich, in every sense of the word, you are able to help yourself, your loves ones, and society itself. You can express your true nature and live to the fullest. Yet, the term “riches” or “money” has negative connotations for some people. Some think rich people are greedy, arrogant, or unhappy (not true, wealthy businesspeople are surprisingly well-adjusted). Or they think that they can never enjoy financial security because of a limitation they have (often, it’s their poverty thinking). Here’s the good news: By studying the mindset of happy wealthy people, you can learn some of their secrets for enjoying both financial success and psychological health (love and joy).  Money, used rightly, can do many good things for yourself and others. Here are some wealth mentality tips you can apply to your life:

 

1.Determine your Rich Type. There are different personality types among the rich and wealthy.  Maybe you’re a “Thrillionaire”—if you were rich, you would use your money to enjoy the pleasures of life and show off your wealth—travel, enjoy fine dining and entertainment, buy fancy cars, mammoth homes, and expensive items. Or you could be the “Coolionaire”—you want your money to express your artistic tastes and desire for the beautiful—you would decorate your gorgeous house in a most elegant way, including the most prestigious art you can buy. Another possibility: You are the “Realionaire”—you are the realistic, down-to earth rich person (think Warren Buffet) who invests in big things, but is also practical and savings conscious. Your wealth reflects your low key and relaxed nature. Finally, you could be the Wellionaire—someone who uses your money to feel good and do good—contributing to charitable and philanthropic causes to leave the world a better place (consider Bill and Melinda gates and their humanitarian work).

  1. Create a prosperity mental script. Many people grow up with a scarcity or poverty mentality, parroting statements and beliefs they heard growing up:  “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “Too much work, too little money.” Over time, these negativistic, poverty mentality phrases become embedded in your mind, and as an adult, you feel insecure or frustrated about money—you worry that you will never have enough. Yet, there is a better way to think: The Prosperity Mentality—believing that there is an abundance of money and resources in the world—and that you can access the money you need to accomplish your goals and dreams. Start by substituting poverty mental phrases for prosperity thoughts. You can write the new thoughts in a journal, tablet, or computer, or you can put them on your bathroom wall or somewhere you will see them daily.  Instead of “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” you will write, “Money grows abundantly from my ability to create good things for others.” Instead of “Too much work, too little money,” you will write, “A lot of love and joy from my work leads to an abundance of money.”  As you ingrain these new prosperity thoughts into your mind, you will see that your financial and money endeavors will flourish and you will be more prosperous than ever before.  
  1. Think of Money as Loving Energy. In my book, “Invincible You,” I talk about a new way to look at money: as Loving Energy, or Loving Money Energy (LME).  When you do something you love for work, you receive money—paper or electronic—as an appreciation (love) of the value of the work you provided.  Then, you take that money and you send it to someone else for goods or services—as you spread your gratitude and love for what you are receiving.  Seen in this way, money is a form of loving energy that flows and passes from person to person, society to society, to provide goodness and satisfaction to those it touches.  Instead of thinking that you have to compete and fight for money, and fearing that you may lose it or not have enough, you realize that loving money energy has no limits and will keep circulating as long as you can utilize your talents for the good of others. For example, when you have a transaction with a merchant or storekeeper, consider that you are creating bonds of cheery affinity with that businessperson. With this mindset, you don’t always have to fight to get the lowest possible price; you may even overpay a little at times—as you realize that you are expressing love to this person by helping them with their finances. Maybe they’re putting a child through college or taking care of their frail elderly parent.  Although you want to get your money’s worth, and not be taken advantage of, this way of thinking actually will help you financially in the long-run. The merchant you gave a little extra money to may reciprocate by giving you a great deal on your next transaction. Or others who learn about your generosity will want to do business with you because they see that you are a fair-minded and empathetic person.

Yes, you can be rich—both in the material and spiritual sense. As a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature), you are already rich—by virtue of being born into this world and being alive.  Every day, remind yourself of the things you are grateful for—your life, family, friends, pets, talents, career, hobbies, experiences, and the world itself.  When you do this, you will feel rich internally and you will project that wealth mentality outwardly—as you attract true financial and monetary riches.  You will also attract the greatest wealth of all: Love.

HOW TO MARRY AN “UGLY” PERSON (WITH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT) AND BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

They say beauty is only skin deep, but if it is, what really attracts you to a love partner?  Is it primarily someone’s looks, character, personality, faith, beliefs, or financial resources? New research provides insight into the true nature of dating, physical attraction, and long-term relationship success, and reveals interesting truths about how men and women choose to date and mate. Let’s take a look at some of the findings:

 

*Men and women differ in how good-looking their mate must be.  Men tend to prioritize female beauty in choosing a mate, yet will often settle for a less physically attractive partner for both short-term (sex, companionship) and long-term relationships (love, marriage; “She has a good heart”).  Women, on the other hand, will not usually get romantically involved with a man they consider physically unattractive—he will stay forever in the “friend zone.”  She will usually make sure that she is physically attracted to a man before she allows it to go to the next romantic step.

 

*Choose a physically less attractive man and be happy for the rest of your life. Research indicates that when a woman marries a man who is not as physically attractive as she is, she will likely be more happy and satisfied in the relationship.  A very good-looking man, although desirable, may have more opportunities and desire to cheat or take the woman for granted—or at least she will be jealous toward him. A less physically attractive man may be more devoted and doting to her. Also, research indicates that more masculine men who have a higher level of testosterone may make undesirable mates:  31% of them are likely to have marital problems, 38% are likely to cheat, and 43% of them are likely to get divorced.

 

*True beauty is within—develop it for yourself and find it in another person. In reality, there are no ugly or unattractive people—we are all beautiful in our own way as creations of a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature).  True beauty consists of inner traits such as compassion, empathy, kindness, gentleness, and patience. Make sure you develop these traits in yourself and find a mate who possesses similar qualities. If you’re already with a partner, both of you can strive to increase your inner beauty together. As you and your partner actualize your inner beauty—including loving each other unconditionally—you will find yourself more attracted to each other in every way: physically, romantically, and spiritually.

 

It’s true that being physically attractive and in good physical shape—looking and feeling good—is often a great advantage in society and life.  Yet, in romantic relationships, looks often fade, but the inner qualities of the person—compassion, empathy, and lovingness—are what remain.  After all, it’s your inner beauty that will make you more outwardly beautiful—this is what you should develop in yourself and discover in your love partner. In this way, you can build a love partnership that stands the test of time and leaves a lasting legacy of goodness and contribution for all to see.  

HOW SHY AND INTROVERT PEOPLE CAN RULE THE WORLD: THE NEW PARADIGM FOR SOCIAL INTERACTION, CONNECTION, AND HAPPINESS

 

Are you Introvert or shy?  Is so, this is becoming your world. Currently, 50% of the population is classified as Introvert (seeking energy within) while 50% are classified as shy (strongly sensitive to the social environment). As technology grows, and people do more things from home, we’re becoming a more internal species—spending a great portion of our time on our technological devices and in our own thoughts.  

 

Introversion and shyness are somewhat different. Introverts have a limited amount of social energy to spend, yet they can be sociable in smaller doses. In fact, they can be very good leaders because they often take the time to listen to people carefully and encourage them to keep improving.  A shy person, on the other hand, is an individual who is very sensitive to the environment, and who may have a self-conscious side—worrying that they will be rejected and criticized by others. Although being shy can have its challenges, in my book, The Gift of Shyness (rb.gy/l7zjmm), I talk about the positive traits of the shy person. Shy people are often sensitive, good listeners, reflective, and loyal, among other positive traits.  The key for the shy person’s success and happiness is for them to reduce the self-conscious (self-critical) part of their mind while increasing their spontaneous and natural side.

 

Here are some tips for you to claim your shyness or Introversion as a superpower that you can utilize for your good and the good of others:

 

If you’re shy:

 

*Become the Actor. The Actor is the part of your mind that is spontaneous, natural, and confident. Think of your favorite actor—how they act, walk, talk, and dress. Imagine that you are that actor. At home, practice, talking, acting, and walking like them—feeling their confidence and charisma. When you go out socially, imagine that your Actor is alive within you. You are ready to meet any social challenge because you have the Actor inside you as your best companion.  In Israeli culture, children are encouraged to have Chutzpah, audacity or social courage—to go for what they want, to speak their mind—without the fear of failure or rejection. Chutzpah is a good skill for shy people to develop—to know that there is nothing to fear when they take a social risk. To develop Chutzpah, keep expressing your actor, the powerful and spontaneous part of you, regardless of how others may react.  When you do this, you will eventually find people who resonate with your style and will want to be connected to you in a quality relationship.

 

*Start with small human exchanges.  If you’re shy, you may feel awkward breaking the ice and starting conversations. To become more socially fluent, begin small in your conversational exchanges with others.  Start by looking people in the eye, smiling, and saying “Hi,” even if you don’t know them. Progress to making a few observational comments; for example, to a passerby, you can say, “It sure is windy (or sunny) today.” Or, you can try paying a sincere compliment, “That color looks good on you,” when you see someone who looks friendly. Think of each conversational exchange as a social experiment in which you gain more knowledge about human interaction as you grow your conversational muscles. Talk to someone every day and you will get better at it.

 

*If you’re an Introvert:

 

*Embrace your internalness.  Even before the virus, you may have been the type of person who did things alone—and enjoyed it.  Whether it was going out to eat, walking around, or even watching a movie, you enjoyed your alone time—to think, observe, and reflect. At the same time, as an Introvert, you can enjoy the special company of a few long-term, loyal friends. The important thing is for you to embrace your Introvert nature, and don’t wish that you were more Extraverted like a lot of society appears to be (remember they will soon be in the minority). Accept and love yourself as you are—a proud Introvert—and realize that you may not need a lot of people around you, but you can do just fine with a few close friendships. Enjoy your internal nature—that is who you are.

 

*Manage your energy.  As an Introvert, you have a limited amount of social energy. You can even be the life of the party for a certain amount of time: talkative, outgoing, and very social as long as your social energy lasts.  At a certain point, however, you will have used up your social gas tank, and you need to get away from the environment to recharge your batteries by yourself (hot tub, anyone?).  Therefore, as an Introvert, your best approach is to measure your social energy carefully. You will only say “Yes,” to the social engagements and activities that mean the most to you, while saying "No" to less impactful or meaningful social obligations. As you free up more social energy, you will only participate in social activities and connections that fulfill you and help you become your best self (maybe you join a writer’s or reader’s club).

 

For both Introvert and Shy people:

 

*Offer loving energy without expectation.  This is one of the greatest secrets of social success: Give loving energy to others without expectation. Help someone with their groceries or opening a door;  assist an elderly person cross the street; listen attentively to people when they tell you their problems. Help friends connect with each other. Volunteer for a charitable or humanitarian organization that helps the disadvantaged. When you help people and give love without expecting anything in return, you unleash a tremendous positive power in the universe.  Often, even though you weren’t expecting anything in return, people will come out of nowhere to help you.  Your life will become more pleasurable and exciting, and you will be happier and more content, when you extend your loving energy to the world because that is who you are inside (love).

 

As more people are forced to stay home because of the virus, there is a silver lining: We’re learning new ways to connect online: virtual activities, groups, and events; video chatting and video conferencing. At the same time, we’re learning how to value our private, alone time—how to think deeper, understand others and ourselves more thoroughly, and love more deeply. Now we can no longer take the ordinary good things in life for granted—time spent with loved ones at fun outings; the ability to explore the world and see its beauty. Regardless of whether you’re Introvert or Extravert, shy or nonshy, the key to happiness is to embrace your nature and love yourself. When you do that, you can love others and a Higher Nature (God, spirit) with all of your heart and soul. Yes,  the world—both inner and outer—can be yours. Enjoy it.  

FROM FORGOTTEN FOSTER KIDS TO FABULOUS MARRIED COUPLE: THE AMAZING TRUE STORY OF ALEXIS AND JUSTIN BLACK, AMERICA’S NEW YOUTH EMPOWERMENT LEADERS

Imagine if your mom was a drug addict, your dad was a drug dealer, and you had to live on the run in abandoned roach-infested houses—one step away from the law. Or, what if you were tortured and abused by your biological dad for years and then later learned that you mom had committed suicide when you thought she had been killed in an accident.  These are the true stories of Justin and Alexis Black, an amazing young married couple who overcame foster care, horrid abuse, neglect, and obstacles to graduate from college and become inspirational leaders for youth throughout America.  On Love University, we were honored to hear their stories and how they came together to form a “Love Power” couple who are inspiring millions of youth through their speaking and writing (Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness, and Love: www.re-definingnormal.com).   Here are some of the lessons we learned for overcoming abuse and trauma from Alexis and Justin:

*Be intentional and love yourself first. Before they could come together as a young happily married couple, Justin and Alexis had to heal their own wounds. Through group and individual therapy,  they learned that they had value and were worthy of love.  Loving themselves first before they could fully love their partner became an important element of their mental health recovery.  Part of being emotionally healthy is to be aware of your triggers—the things that remind you of your past pain and trauma.  Through awareness of what reactivates the pain, says Alexis and Justin, you can have clear communication with your partner and establish boundaries and respect so that mutual healing can take place in a safe and nurturing love environment.

*Let go of the past of those who hurt you.  After being abused and betrayed by her biological dad for years, Alexis had thoughts of killing him.  One night she had a knife and was looking at the back of his head, but she didn’t do it. Although she felt suicidal and was hospitalized later on, she never gave up hope.  One of the things that helped her was a beautiful song by Gospel singer, Kirk Franklin, “Imagine Me,” which says, “Imagine me letting go of all the ones who hurt me ‘Cause they never did deserve me…Because of your love, fear’s gone away. Can you imagine me?”  Although she experienced terrible things at the hands of her biological father, she has been able to move forward from the pain and leave it in the past. Likewise, Justin has begun to forgive his dad who let down his family many times, and now they are rebuilding their relationship.  Forgiveness is not just for the one who did you harm, but for your own healing. It’s for liberating yourself from the memory chains to the person who hurt you; it’s for forgiving yourself for the past and looking forward to a bright and hopeful future.

*Find love in the Higher.  One of the things that saved Justin and Alexis from even more despair and even death was their Christian faith.  Believing in a higher Nature or cause (God, spirit, destiny) is one of the most powerful aids in overcoming trauma and pain to live a loving and fearless life.  Justin quotes one of his favorite passages from Psalms 23:  “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”  When he was young, Justin says he looked up to drug dealers who gave him money; they seemed to have all the success, but were really failures in life.  His drug-addicted/drug-dealing parents were also not good “shepherds” or guides.  The one guide who never let him down, according to Justin, was God, whose love is always faithful, kind, patient, and forgiving. Regardless of your religious or spiritual background, having a belief in something higher than yourself –a benevolent and loving force that doesn’t let you down—is an important part of psychological healing and recovery.   As Justin and Alexis believe, “Humans can let you down, but God never does. He will find a way for you in His own way.”

*Create your new “better normal.”  The title of Alexis’s and Justin’s Book is Redefining Normal.  In their past, their normal was defined by sexual and physical abuse, domestic violence, teen pregnancy drug abuse, poverty, aggression, and fear.  Their advice is to create a “Better Normal”—raise your expectations for yourself and those you love; reverse the cycle of fear, violence, and negativity that plagues you, your family, and your community.  One way to do this is by finding positive role models—mentors who can help guide you to live a more elevated and positive life.  Justin found successful black professionals in his college mentoring program who had higher expectations for him than he had for himself.  Alexis found a loving foster family who adopted her at age 26 and loved her unconditionally. She changed her “old normal” concept of “Love Hurts” to “Love heals, feels good, and is healthy.”   Once you have raised your own standard of mental well-being, your calling is to become a healthy and positive role model for others, as Justin and Alexis are doing. This helps to create a cycle of love and emotional excellence in place of the old downward cycle of fear, despair, and failure.

Although the love and transformation story of Justin and Alexis is unique and beautiful, it is not the only one that exists.  Others have overcome trauma and pain to live healthy and loving lives, and so can you.  Follow the path of Justin and Alexis and be intentional about loving yourself, let go of the past of those who hurt you, find a Higher Nature love, and create your “Better normal.” If you do these things, you will be able to overcome the emotional chains that bound you and achieve your dreams of love, joy, and contribution.

HOW TO BEAT BURNOUT AND WORK WITH ENERGY, LOVE, AND POWER

Are you burned out at work?  On top of the stress and turmoil of the current worldwide virus situation, many workers are increasingly burned out in their jobs and careers—stressed-out, overwhelmed, disillusioned, and detached. If that sounds like you, practice the following strategies to recapture your energy, positivity, and sense of accomplishment:

*Take a technology fast. In our rapid 24 hour-7-days a week technology-obsessed society, it is rare to find a relaxed time when you’re not checking your phone or devices for texts, emails, phone messages, social media, or news. Although technology can be useful in many ways, all of the input into your mind can overwhelm you and add to your feeling of being burned out and stressed-out. To counteract this, take a technology fast: Turn off your phone and other devices for a period of time—maybe an hour or several hours.  This will give you an opportunity to relax and recharge your batteries so you can get back to work with a refreshed mind.  

 

*Spend time with positive energy friends.   Emotional contagion is the phenomena which occurs when people affect each other’s moods. You can walk into a room of nervous and gloomy people and start to feel the same way. Or, you can associate with positive and uplifting people, and you begin to feel more cheery and optimistic. Therefore, it’s important that you choose to spend time with friends and family members who support you with a positive and helpful energy. These are the people who help you relax, de-stress, and enjoy the lighter moments of life.

 

*Do the things you love. When you’re burned out, you may work so much that you neglect to do the things you really enjoy—the activities that bring you pleasure and joy. Think of the things you love to do, but haven’t done much of lately: Spending quality time with family and friends, being in nature, doing a fun or creative activity or hobby; exercising, or engaging in a spiritual or meditative practice. The more you go back to your “passion spot”—doing the things that uplift you to be your best—the less stressed and burned out you will feel, and the more motivation and passion you will have to do the work you need to do.

 

*Give loving energy without expectations.  One of the greatest secrets of peace and joy is to “Give loving energy without expectations.” This means that you will smile at other people and say “Hi,” do small favors (open a door), help needy people, listen attentively with empathy and compassion, and serve the needs of others. When you give love to others in this way, you won’t expect anything in return—a favor, approval, or even acknowledgement.  You will simply express your loving energy because that is who you are inside. Moreover, the more you extend love without expectation, the more loving and powerful you will be because your love regenerates from the inside. You will feel refreshed and recharged when your loving energy leads the way.  

 

Yes, you can beat burnout. If you take a technology fast, spend time with positive energy friends, do the things you love, and give love without expectations, you can defeat stress, worry, and the feeling of being overwhelmed. At the same time, you will have renewed energy, motivation, and optimism. You will feel more content, and you will accomplish greater things, when you have a refreshed and positive outlook on your work and life. Now it’s your turn: Make sure you practice the burnout-busting techniques we just discussed so you can enjoy a week that is filled with relaxation, accomplishment, and good feelings.  Enjoy.

WHERE THERE IS LOVE, THERE IS LIFE: HOW TO INCREASE YOUR LOVE AND MAXIMIZE YOUR HAPPINESS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST HOSTS, DEAN WARREN AND ISABEL

Gandhi once said, “Where there is love, there is life.”   Love is the marvelous special ingredient that makes life worth living.  It comes in many forms: Love of self, love of work, love of others, and love of a Higher Nature (God/spirit). When you have love in your life, you live with peace, joy, and contribution—knowing that you are fulfilling your potential and making a positive difference in the world. Our guests on Love University, Dean Warren and Isabele Hazan, married podcasters (URlife.live) and world travelers, offered us insight into the nature of love, health, and happiness. Here are some of the things we learned.

 

*Practice the four pillars of healthy living. In Ayurvedic thought, we learn the four pillars of excellent health: Good Sleep, Good Nutrition, Movement, and Silence (Emotional Wellness).  When you sleep peacefully, eat the right things, move your body, and take time out for contemplation, you enjoy a healthier and happier life.  Consider your body a sacred temple that houses your spirit, your very essence. Before you go to bed, practice a relaxation ritual—put away all of your technological devices and sit or lie quietly—praying, meditating, or focusing on a pleasant image or memory. Throughout the day, make sure you take time out to eat slowly and put healthy ingredients into your body.  Also, move your body—whether it’s through formal exercise at a gym, walking, or stretching. Finally, start and end your day with silence as you become aware of your thoughts and calm your “Monkey Mind,” the chattering thoughts and worries that fill your mind throughout the day. Each day aim to maintain peace, calmness, and love in everything you do.  

 

*Recognize your energy style:  All of us have different energy styles according to Ayurvedic tradition.   If you are Vata, your primary element is air. You are a spontaneous and light person who is fast-moving, but may be prone to agitation.  In my LoveTypes (personality compatibility) system, you are known as an “Excitement Seeker”—you crave novelty, stimulation, and excitement. If you are Pitta, your main element is fire, and you desire power and knowledge—to learn, learn, create and improve. In the LoveTypes system, you are known as a “Knowledge Seeker”—you value competence, knowledge, science, technology, and innovation. Finally, you may be Kaffa—your main element is earth. You are the practical, realistic, concrete, and grounded person. In LoveTypes, you are known as a “Security Seeker”—you value security, family, tradition, responsibility, and commitment. Of course, you could have a combination of more than one type, although generally you have a primary energy style that you use on a daily basis. Once you know your energy style, you can select the people and activities that best resonate with your nature, and you can plan your work and daily activities based on your particular strength. For example, a Vata person would likely want to choose a career that offers them maximum flexibility and spontaneity, while a Kaffa individual may prefer a more structured 9 to 5 job with good benefits and long-term security.

 

*Love yourself so you can love others.  People who are natural givers and caretakers often burn out because they may give all they have to help others at the cost of their personal health and happiness. Although it’s wonderful to be giving and loving to others, it’s important that you practice self-care and recharge your batteries; get adequate exercise, eat healthy, enjoy recreational and social time, and participate in a spiritual or meditative practice. Remember that the more you love yourself—in a healthy, not egotistical way—the more you can love and give to others.  On a daily basis, make sure you replenish your inner psychological plate—feed yourself with self-compassion and self-care—so you can fill the emotional plate of others with your practical help, empathy, compassion, and love. Remember: You can only give to others what you already have inside.

 

Dean and Isabel married late in life and are now in their 50’s. Their goal  is to be healthy and happy together, enjoying another 50 years of life as a united couple. By focusing on improving your health—spiritual, physical, and emotional—you, too, can live a longer and happier life as you contribute to the world and leave behind a legacy of love and contribution.

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