Love University with Dr. Alexander Avila

INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS IN LOVE: WHY SOCIAL ENERGY CAN MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP

Are you in an Introvert-Extrovert relationship? Maybe you’re the Introvert—you get energy more from your own thoughts—and your partner is the outgoing, Extraverted type.  If you don’t understand each other, you may clash. Or, you could be an Extroverted woman with an Introverted man, which can be a challenging combination based on research. In our enlightening Love University podcast, love personality expert, Dr. Avila (Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate: Avila, Alexander: 9780380800148: Amazon.com: Books), delves into the world of Introversion and Extroversion in dating, love, and relationships. He reveals important tips on how to thrive in various personality love combinations, as follows:

*Introverts and Extroverts have different needs for social energy. Introverts often like to stay home while Extroverts like to go out. Key to success: Extroverts, respect your Introverts need for “alone/quiet time,” while Introverts be OK with giving your Extrovert a boy’s/girl’s night out.

*Introverts like to listen; Extroverts like to talk.  Although Introverts like to talk at times and Extroverts can listen, it’s usually the Extrovert doing the majority of the talking. In this case, each partner needs to appreciate the other’s style (Extroverts listen to Introverts; Introverts let your Extrovert enjoy their talking time).

*Extrovert women and Introvert men can have challenges. Research shows that Extrovert women have the most problem with Introvert men in the areas of chores, finances, hobbies, communication and sex. If they don’t respect each other’s style, they will attack each other (“Why don’t you speak up?” “Can you be quiet for once?”).

The key of harmony in relationships is to appreciate and respect each other’s unique personality style (LoveType). When partners do this, almost any combination can work—two Introverts or two Extroverts together; or an Introvert/Extrovert combination. Respect and mutual appreciation for each other’s personality difference can work wonders in a relationship

Special Announcement: Meet Dr. Avila live for a remarkable evening of conversation and networking: “Riches without Limits: Invincible You.” The free talk is being held on 11/10/24 at 7:00pm at the Brea Civic and Community Center, Community Room A (upstairs, 2nd floor) Reserve your seat now while they last:  bit.ly/3Yich6g  

FIND YOUR SOUL MATE AT THE DATING MASQUERADE: DR. AVILA REVEALS HIS REVOLUTIONARY LOVETYPE SYSTEM, PART 1

The singles world often seems like a dating masquerade. People wear psychological masks that hide their true personalities so they can impress each other. Unfortunately, when the masks come off, they often find that they’re incompatible with each other. Now, disappointment and heartache sets in. It doesn’t have to be that way. On our latest Love University podcast, Dr. Avila’s explains how his classic LoveType system (lovetype.com) can help you quickly unmask potential romantic partners and find your most compatible soul mate. 

For example, are you:

Introvert or Extavert?

Imaginative or Practical?

Thinker or Feeler?

Structured or Spontaneous?

These simple personality dimensions in the LoveType system will help you embrace your personality power and discover the love partner best suited for you.

Based on Dr. Avila’s extensive years of research into love personality compatibility (utilizing Myers-Briggs personality type theory), his revolutionary LoveType system can help you discover your romantic style and find the best partner for you. Listen as you discover your true nature and attract the ideal soul mate for you.

DIVORCE AND SELF-LOVE: HOW TO BE CONSCIOUSLY HAPPY WITH THE IMPERFECT YOU, WITH KARL DUNN, INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED MENTAL HEALTH DIVORCE EXPERT

On our Love University podcast, we had an enlightening interview with Karl Dunn, an expert on same-sex divorce and mental health issues related to divorce. Karl recounted the lessons learned from his own marriage/divorce and how “his marriage didn’t make him whole, but his divorce did.”   Here is some of the useful advice he shared for how to have a healthy divorce:

*Be aware of the friend filter. Karl identifies three types of friends during divorce: Friends who are on your side no matter what, friends who care about you, but don’t want to be around your divorce (it brings up their own trauma), and “binge divorce watchers” who are hungry for the gruesome details for their own entertainment (the worst kind).

*Keep an emotional diary:  As you go through your divorce, keep a diary in which you write down what triggers your sadness or anger (e.g. email from an attorney or your ex), why you feel that way, and what the Universe is telling you about the best way to respond.

*Expectations will kill you—kill expectations.  The key to getting out whole on the other side of divorce is to minimize your expectations of what is just, fair, or equitable. Hire the best lawyer if you need to, prepare all of your documents, and see a therapist if you want more support. At the same time, be present in the moment and don’t let anger, fear, or hardened expectations take over your mind.  

In the end, Karl says, he realized that he didn’t need a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to be happy. He was the pot of gold.  He had the power to actualize all of his hopes and dreams and achieve ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment. Karl counsels that you, too, can be your own happy ending, whether you’re married, divorced, or single; whether you’re straight, gay, or anywhere in between. Happiness is your internal gold—dig for it and you will find it.

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LIVE JOYFULLY WITH SOUL STATEMENTS. WELCOMING COREY LYON FOLSOM, RENOWNED SPIRITUAL TEACHER

 

Do you ever feel like your mind is controlling you with negativity, doubt, and fear?  If so, then there is a solution for you. It is called “Soul Statements,” simple phrases you can incorporate into your daily thinking that will lift you from despair and frustration into joy and love.  Our guest on Love University, Corey Folsom, is an enlightened relationship coach, spiritual leader, and author (Soul Statements: A Love Coach's Guide to Successful Communication: Folsom, Corey Lyon: 9798218188856: Amazon.com: Books). Taking us on a journey into the power of soul statements, Corey educates us with his life-changing advice on regaining your wisdom within. Here’s what we learned from Corey:

*Find your querencia.  In bullfighting, a bull may stake out his querencia, a certain part of the bull ring where he feels strong and safe. As humans, we can discover our own querencia by going emotionally back to a place where we felt strong, comfortable, and authentic.  Recall what you were doing, the people you were with, and how you felt during your time of querencia. Maybe, it was with a certain friend or loved one, doing a hobby or activity you loved, and you felt joy, peace, and comfort. Now, whenever you’re feeling anxious or doubtful, mentally (and physically) go back to that querencia—that zone of comfort—to re-energize yourself and regain your inner strength.

*Repeat soul statements to yourself daily.  Soul statements are a healing and comforting way of talking to yourself (“I am enough”; “I am growing”), instead of the self-bullying thoughts that may torment you (“I’m not good enough” “I’ll never get better”). Come up with your own affirming soul statements—write them down or record them—and repeat them to yourself regularly. This will transform your life and uplift your confidence and well-being.

*Have the courage to disappoint. You may fall into the nice guy or gal zone where you try to please others and are afraid to state what you really feel. When you do that, you often hurt yourself and your authenticity, and you feel disappointed in yourself. Remember that saying “no” is a powerful healing word if you feel in your gut that you need to say it.  The other person may be momentarily disappointed, but they will get over it, and you will stand firm in your beliefs—taking care of yourself so you can give more to others who really need your help.

*Uplevel always. Think of every act you do, however small, as a chance to do better and feel better. For example, when Corey brushes his teeth, he says to himself, “I’m keeping my commitment to take care of my teeth, my self, as an act of self-love. Self-care is soul care.” When you strive to do everything with love and care, and tell yourself that you’re doing so, you will start to feel buoyant and cheerful. Now, every day is an opportunity for growth and learning, giving you the energy and strength to help yourself and others.

There is a great power in Soul Statements.  How we talk to ourselves can make a tremendous difference in our relationships, finances, career, health, and happiness. When you’re supporting and loving yourself, through your thoughts and inner voice, you will transform your life from fear and regret to joy and optimism. By repeating soul statements to yourself, you will constantly improve and grow—becoming a more confident and loving human being each day. It’s a wonderful sight to behold to see your soul grow and your heart soar. Enjoy every minute of it.

HOW TO BE A COMPASSIONATE BAD*** AND SKYROCKET YOUR SUCCESS, WITH SEAN KANAN, EMMY®-WINNING PRODUCER, AUTHOR, AND STAR OF THE HIT NETFLIX SERIES, COBRA KAI, AND THE KARATE KID FRANCHISE

Is something holding you back from achieving your dreams?  Maybe, you’re being held back by negative people, or perhaps by self-defeating thoughts in your own mind. If that’s the case, then things are about to change. It’s time to kick the negativity out of your mind and become the most powerful and loving person you can possibly be. On our Love University podcast, we recently had the pleasure of meeting up with Sean Kanan, star of Cobra Kai and the iconic Karate Kid franchise. Aside from being an award-winning producer and consummate actor (Young and the Restless, Bold and the Beautiful), Sean has written self-empowerment books (wayofthecobra.com) and dedicated his life to showing students how to overcome obstacles and reach their dreams. Here is some of the wisdom we learned from this special interview with Sean:

*Be a Cobra. A Cobra is someone who is authentic, self-aware, empathetic, strong, and humble. They epitomize a blend of paradoxical characteristics that make them a Compassionate Warrior. They’re ready to fight to defend their principles and protect others from harm, while at the same time being compassionate, loving, and empathetic. Like the Mike Barnes character in the current Cobra Kai series, season 6, the Cobra can offer tough love and discipline, while also being an inspiring mentor to help others grow.

*Never compromise your character.  Sean tells us that reputation is what others say about you; character is what you say about yourself, and what you do when no one is around to watch you.  Guard your character with everything you have; it is the essence of who you are, your authenticity, your inner power.  With it, you can conquer the world; without it, the world will conquer you.

*Win the battle for your mind and be reborn each day.  You need to metaphorically die each day to your old limiting self (self-defeating mindset).  Every day when you wake up, resolve to be a better version of who you were the day before: wiser, kinder, more compassionate, more humble, tougher, and stronger.  Each day, you will let go of the person you were yesterday. If you fell short or made a mistake, today you will start fresh; you will do better. Today, you will forgive yourself for your past errors and create a new, more powerful, and more loving you.

These are just some of the life-changing secrets we learned from Sean on how to kick the problems out of your life and achieve personal mastery.  Be a Cobra, never compromise your character, and be reborn every day.  If you do these things, you will conquer your inner world and achieve your dreams as you help others achieve theirs.

NEWS FLASH: DR. AVILA AND SEAN WILL BE TOGETHER AT THE WYNN LAS VEGAS 8/30/24, UNITING THEIR FORCES TO HELP PROFESSIONALS MAXIMIZE THEIR PERSONAL AND WORK SUCCESS.  REGISTER NOW AT LOVEUNIVERSITYLOVE@GMAIL.COM FOR VIP EVENTS, BOOK SIGNINGS, AND Q & A SESSIONS. YOUR LIFE WILL BE TRANSFORMED.

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE FOR CRAZY TIMES: HOW TO SOOTHE YOUR SOUL AND LIVE WITH INNER POWER, WITH SPECIAL GUEST PHILIP GOLDBERG, RENOWNED SPIRITUAL TEACHER

It seems like we’re living in crazy times. Violence, discord, and discontent seem to permeate the world. Yet, there is hope and a silver lining. We can transform our pain into power by following certain spiritual steps for self-regeneration. Our guest on Love University, Philip Goldberg, esteemed spiritual teacher and author (philipgoldberg.com), enlightened us with practical lessons for spiritual healing.  Drawing from his many years of study with Eastern Mind-Body practices, Philip shows us a roadmap to love, peace, and goodwill. Yes, we can save our inner and outer world and live wonderfully—it’s up to us.

SHOW OF THE YEAR: BIOHACK YOUR WAY TO INCREDIBLE SEX, LOVE, AND ROMANCE, WITH JOHN GRAY, NUMBER ONE RELATIONSHIP EXPERT IN THE WORLD (WOMEN ARE FROM MARS, MEN ARE FROM VENUS)

Would you like to have amazing love, romance, and sex?  Now you can by applying certain simple “biohacks” (utilizing biology for health and happiness) to completely transform your relationships.  Our guest on Love University, legendary relationship luminary Dr. John Gray (marsvenus.com), educated us on male/female hormones and the power of understanding and appreciating our differences. With over 40 years helping couples, and as the author of the most trusted relationship book of all time (Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus), Dr. Gray illuminated our minds with his amazing insights on love and romance, as follows:

*Men and women need polarity to be sexually and romantically happy.  Polarity in relationships is the spark occurring between two opposing energies: masculine and feminine. According to Dr. Gray, men need to be more on their male side (generating more testosterone), and women need to be more on their female side (creating more estrogen), for sexual arousal and romantic love to rise to the highest levels. In romantic “pair bonding,” a man and woman give each other a benefit they can’t give themselves . For example, a man gives a woman a sense of emotional security/safety, while the woman gives the man her appreciation and feminine warmth and affection. These complementary energies then fuse to create sparks and attraction.

*When men are overly emotional they are on their “female” side—producing more estrogen. Getting angry, contrary to popular belief, is not a “masculine” or “macho” experience. When men allow their negative feelings to overwhelm them, they produce more estrogen. This is also the case when men indulge too much in pleasure or have an addiction.

*A woman can help a man replenish his testosterone.  She can ask for his help (this also raises her estrogen as well), encourage his “cave time” (when he goes in his room, office, or garage to engage in hobbies, interests, or activities), and appreciate his talents and accomplishments (“You’re so smart,” “Great job”).

*A man can help a woman replenish her estrogen.  He can listen to her feelings without judgment or trying to solve her problems (ten minutes), give her four nonsexual hugs a day (six seconds each), and do a five-minute task for her with a smile (something she can do for herself, but she’s happy when her man does it).

*Brahmacharya, sexual abstinence for a higher purpose, can be a healthy thing.   Dr. Gray was a celibate monk and practiced sexual abstinence for spiritual reasons. There is great power in giving your sexual energy “an upward turn”—instead of having physical sex, you can transmute or apply your erotic energy to do creative, humanitarian, or spiritual works. You can also invest your sexual energy in one adored, devoted, and committed love partnership as you and your partner create peace and greatness through your love.

In the end, the goal is for men and women to understand, respect, appreciate and love each other as the unique and beautiful souls they are. Together, we can create a path to a higher light and radiate love without expectation throughout the world.

THE GIFT OF SHYNESS: HOW TO TURN YOUR SHYNESS INTO AN ASSET AND RULE YOUR WORLD

Are you shy? If so, then our latest show on Love University Podcast is perfect for you.   In Dr. Avila’s landmark book, The Gift of Shyness (https://bit.ly/4cEjgMb), he outlined the hidden gifts (talents) of shy people and how they can achieve romantic and personal success. As a shy person, you’re likely a deep, reflective person who is a good listener and empathetic to others. The challenge you face as a shy person is what Dr. Avila calls the Observer (or Self-Observer)—the part of your mind that makes you feel self-conscious and worried about what other people think about you (making you want to withdraw socially). The key to transforming your shyness into an asset is to diminish the Observer while developing more of your Actor, the spontaneous and natural part of your personality. With the right Actor-Observer balance you can rule your social and romantic world. Here’s more of what we learned about The Gift of Shyness on the show:

*Realize that shyness is really a gift. Up to 50% of the population is shy. Yet, for years, there has been a strong stigma attached to being shy. Shy people were known as “social rejects,” “wallflowers,” or “socially phobic.” In reality, shyness, used rightly, can be a great gift. As coined by Dr. Avila, the new definition of shyness is “a life-enhancing state of extraordinary social sensitivity and profound self-reflection.”  Embrace your gift of shyness, accept yourself as you are, and you can do wonders in your life.

*Vanquish your Observer.  The Observer is the part of your mind that is constantly judging and criticizing your social performance (“You’ll say something stupid; you’re not attractive or charming enough to win the hearts and attention of others”).  To diminish the Observer, give it a name and draw what it looks like in a notebook.  Maybe you call it “Weak Willy” or “Pathetic Patty.” Now visualize that it is getting smaller and smaller as you say to it, “Observer, you are nothing but a figment of my imagination. I will toss you out like yesterday’s trash.  Goodbye, Observer.”

*Access your inner Actor:  To develop your Actor, the spontaneous, natural, and fun part of your personality, think of an actor from stage or screen that you admire. Consider how they dress, talk, walk, and act. Now, in front of a mirror at home, practice talking like they do, adopt some of their facial expressions; you may even try out some clothes that remind you of them. Your goal is to tap into the spontaneous and natural part of you that “doesn’t give a #**” about other’s social approval. You won’t just imitate or copy the actor you admire, you will play with some of the characteristics you admire about them, while adopting your own personal Actor style. Soon, you will be free and natural—more charismatic and attractive than ever before—attracting the interest and attention of  the people you’re interested in.  

Yes, you can be socially and professionally successful, charismatic, attractive, and desirable—while still being shy. You can be confidently shy. You can be romantically shy. You can be powerfully shy. The key is to embrace the positive aspects of being shy while transforming the self-conscious parts of your personality. When you do this, you will be a fully integrated and balanced human being who can achieve your dreams and make the world a better place. Here’s to a beautiful and confident Shy You.

BLISS BRAIN: REMODELING YOUR BRAIN FOR RESILIENCE, CREATIVITY, AND JOY, WITH SPECIAL GUEST DAWSON CHURCH, AWARD-WINNING SCIENCE WRITER

Recent research into neuroplasticity has told us that our brains can change over time in a positive way. Through various techniques and exercises, you can restructure your brain to experience more beneficial and uplifting thoughts and feelings.  Our guest on Love University, Dawson Church, esteemed brain science expert, enlightened us on how to rewire you brain so you can have more joy, creativity, and success in your life. Here are some of the important lessons we learned from Dawson:

*Find the blessing in small things: When his home burned down and he lost his possessions and two beloved cats, Dawson learned how to be grateful for the smallest of things (he found a pair of eyeglasses that were scratched up, but usable). No matter how difficult life seems, counting the good things in your life can uplift your mindset and lift you from doubt and despair.

*Build the things that won’t burn in a catastrophic fire.  After the horrific fire, Dawson realized that he needed to focus on the things that won’t burn up in life: for example, compassion, optimism, and love. It’s impossible to burn these things because they are in your mind and soul. Concentrate daily on building up these powerful traits and you won’t feel at a loss when things go wrong.

*Engage in positive and productive activities.  In one study, subject using a smart phone app recorded feeling happier when they did a task, even if it was somewhat repetitive and routine, than when they were just sitting still and thinking about their problems. This week, find something you love to do—art, sports, music, working with your hands, being in nature—and lose yourself in it.  By doing this, you will have great passion and joy as you diminish your negative overthinking mind, known in the East as the “monkey mind”—the mind that never stops chattering.

*Take the 30-day meditation challenge.  As Dawson explains, his students agree to meditate for thirty straight days no matter what. He has found that a majority of his students become “positively addicted” to meditation because pleasurable brain chemicals are released. Once you begin to get over your resistance to meditation (and the monkey mind), you will find that the activity becomes self-rewarding and you want to keep doing it—feeling more refreshed, focused, and at peace the more you do it.

*Extend loving energy without expectation.  One of the best ways to rewire your brain is to give love to others without expecting anything in return. Smile at others, give them sincere compliments, help them with practical tasks, give them the gift of empathetic listening (listen from their point of view).  When you give love without expectation to others, you also give it to yourself. You become the healer as well as the healed.

Yes, it is possible to remodel your brain, no matter what you have gone through in life.  Develop a mind of gratitude, engage in positive and productive activities, mediate, and give unconditional love to others and to yourself. If you do these things, you are well on your way to having a beautiful and loving brain that brings joy, contribution, and success into your life. Here’s to your new Bliss Brain.

 

DR. AVILA ANSWERS YOUR MOST CRUCIAL QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE, LOVE, JOY, AND HAPPINESS

 

 

Does life sometimes get you down?  You try hard to find the answers for a successful, happy, and loving life, but you often come up short. If this sounds like you, then you’re about to receive some powerful solutions for your pressing problems and challenges.  In our latest Love University episode, Dr. Avila answers some of your most crucial questions for ultimate living. Here are some of the important things you will learn:

*How to Handle People Problems

*How to Get Ahead

*How to Truly Relax

*How to Handle Defeat

*How to Find Someone to Love (and Keep the Love Strong)

*How to Live a Joyous Life and Achieve Your Dreams

HOW I SOLD $25 MILLION WORTH OF REAL ESTATE IN ONE DAY WITH BRAHMACHARYA, THE POWER OF SEXUAL TRANSMUTATION. WITH SPECIAL GUEST, MELISSA BARRAGAN, THE QUEEN OF FLORIDA REAL ESTATE

 

There is a powerful way to access your greatest talents and achieve your grandest goals. It is called Brahmacharya—the use of sexual and romantic energy for a higher purpose. Our guest on Love University, Melissa Barragan, multimillion dollar real estate producer, applied the principle of Brahmacharya and explained how it led her to a powerful realization of self-love and transformation.  After initiating a lifestyle of romantic abstinence beginning in 2023, she achieved her biggest sale ever--$25 million in one day (Valentine’s Day, 2024)--and helped a loving family find their perfect forever home. Here are some of the highlights from Mellisa’s experience of personal awakening:

*God Is Your Valentine. Although Melissa wondered if she would find romantic love after her Brahmacharya experiment, she realized that her true love was God (Higher Nature). Instead of feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day, she experienced a great feeling of unity and love with her Higher Nature as she spent the day with a lovely family and helped them achieve their real estate dreams.

*Fusing Passion, Love, and Romance.  The happiest and most influential couples in the world like Grant and Elena Cardone (real estate and motivation) have the ideal blend of love qualities.  These Supercouples are able to combine mind, body, and soul to create a tremendous partnership in which they transmute their attraction and love for each other into greatness and contribution for the betterment of society.

*Livmor, Love More.  Melissa coined the phrase #Livmor (Live More) to symbolize the importance of focusing on abundance, joy, and love—every day of your life. We often feel disappointed and frustrated when we try to find happiness in externals: relationships, money, work, or experiences.  The truth is that true happiness is based on inner love and peace. To live more, we need to love more: Ourselves, others, and a Higher Nature. When we do everything with love—spending time with loved ones, eating, exercising, making love, working, giving, helping, and contributing—life becomes an absolute joy.

It’s about you now. Decide that, starting today, you will give your life energy an upward turn.  Instead of wasting your vital life forces on superficial relationships, distractions, and negativity, you will use every ounce of your energy to live more, love more, and be more.  When you do this, you will achieve everything you have ever dreamed of, and your life will be a miracle come true.  

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE FOR CRAZY TIMES: HOW TO SOOTHE YOUR SOUL AND LIVE WITH INNER POWER

REWRITE ILLNESS INTO YOUR PERSONAL TRIUMPH STORY: WITH ELIZABETH BENEDICT, NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST AND CANCER SURVIVOR

Do you or a loved one have a serious, life-threatening illness? Do you fear contracting a deadly disease in the future and having no hope for your recovery? If so, there is a way for you to rewrite your sickness story into one of triumph and peace. Our inspiring guest on Love University, Elizabeth Benedict, bestselling author and cancer survivor, shared her personal experience (Rewriting Illness) about illness (elizabethbenedict.com). On the show, she enlightened us about the realities of disease, love, and recovery. Here are some of the things we learned:

*Medical Professional’s emotional reactions can influence a patient’s mental and physical state.  In psychology, mood contagion occurs when we pick up the moods of others—whether good or bad. A medical professional’s fears or negative emotions can influence the patient in a negative way. At the same time, positive emotions expressed by medical providers—compassion, optimism, and love—can also be healing forces to help the patient in their recovery.

*There may be a gendered response to illness.  Men tend to be more stoic about illness and not as hyperfocused on their bodies as women often are (which explains why men may detect illness in later stages when it’s too late).

 

*Serious illness is an internal power struggle—choose your own way.  Some people benefit by talking about their illness to loved ones—it helps them release their tension and fear. Others do better by not talking a lot about it and focusing on positive thoughts and activities. Each person has a different internal battle and needs to choose the mental approach that works best for them.

*Fear needs to be balanced.  According to Elizabeth, patients need to strike the right balance between feeling too much fear about an illness and not having enough fear to protect themselves from danger.  Although fear can be a practical and useful ally, too much fear can paralyze a person and take away their joy for living, which prevents them from maintaining the proper recovery mindset.

The truth is that a majority of us will get sick and die one day. Yet, we don’t know the time or the way. Those who trust in a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) understand that they will be called from their bodies at the appropriate time. In the meantime, our duty is to live with as much love, joy, and contribution as we possibly can while we’re here on earth. As long as you have your body, rejoice in it, love it, and be grateful for it.

THE GIFT OF EMPATHY: HEAL YOUR SENSITIVE SOUL AND BRING LIGHT TO YOUR WORLD, WITH DR. JUDITH ORLOFF, WORLD RENOWNED EMPATHIC PSYCHIATRIST

Do you get stressed, afraid, or sad?  Does conflict with others wear you down? If the answer is yes, there is a solution for you.  It is called empathy: caring and giving with intention—both to yourself and others. Our esteemed guest on Love University, Judith Orloff (drjudithorloff.com), empathic psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author shared light on the “Genius of Empathy” from her new book with the same title. According to Judith, empathy is an important part of emotional intelligence and a powerful healing tool for ourselves and others.  Here’s what we learned from Judith about the amazing gift of empathy:

*You need to start with self-empathy.  You may be hard on yourself, self-critical and attacking yourself about your flaws and mistakes. This is especially the case for sensitive and caring people who often excessively take on the psychological burdens of others and don’t know how to set healthy boundaries. If this sounds like you, it's important to put yourself in your own shoes and be an advocate for your self-worth and value.  Love yourself by putting your hand over your heart and repeating this phrase: “I forgive myself for my past and I open my heart to my future. I am a loving and valuable human being. I can say “No” to others and still be OK. All is well.”

*Practice empathy toward others.  Place yourself in other people’s shoes; feel as they feel during your time with them.  When someone angrily cuts you off on the road, instead of getting angry in return, you can slow down your thought process and see the situation through their eyes. You can consider, “Maybe they’re having a rough day—perhaps they’re feeling sick or just got into a fight with a loved one. There may be a reason for their behavior that I’m not seeing.” When you substitute your irritation and anger for empathy and love, you start to display compassion, and you have a desire to relieve their suffering. Think about how much the angry person suffers from their own reactions—their face gets red, their veins pop. They can’t really help themselves. Now you can forgive them and move on to a higher plane of feeling.

 

*Develop empathy toward the world.  According to Judith, it’s important to understand the “Power of We” instead of “Us Versus Them.”  The truth is that we are all interconnected as human beings. We all share this planet. We all breathe in air, eat, sleep, love, and work. We suffer from the same feelings of regret, sadness, anger, and frustration. We all want to love and be loved, enjoy life in the way we can, and feel meaningful or valuable in some way. By seeing other people as part of a grand human family, we can develop a global sense of empathy. We can send a healing thought or prayer to people in parts of the world who are in horrible conflict or strife.  Also, by practicing the beautiful Tonglen meditation, we can inhale the suffering of others and breathe out compassion and love.  In this way, we can help heal the world as we heal ourselves.

Empathy is on a continuum. Some people are very empathetic, others moderately so, and some (sociopaths, narcissists) have little, if any, empathy. The good news is that a majority of people can increase their empathy toward themselves and others.  By doing so, you will quiet the unkind voices in your head (self-critical thoughts), and you will befriend yourself and others.  You will also establish good boundaries so you are not overwhelmed by the negativity of others. And, most importantly of all, you will extend loving energy without expectation and shine your light of love to all who may receive it. Empathy is truly a genius, and the genius is in you.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOK SIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALUABLE KNOWLEDGE. 

THE IDEALISTIC PHILOSOPHER: SECRETS OF THE MOST SPIRITUAL OF THE 16 LOVETYPES (MYERS-BRIGGS TYPES)

Are you an intuitive and sensitive (feeling) person? Perhaps you’re someone who loves psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and finding the meaning of life. If that’s the case, then you may be an Idealistic Philosopher, the rare personality type (about 4%) who believes that “love is the perfect place: quiet, peaceful, and kind.” On Love University, Dr. Avila began a new series on the 16 LoveTypes (Myers-Briggs romantic styles) based on his classic bestseller LoveTypes. In this segment, Dr. Avila reveals the qualities of the Idealistic Philosopher personality and how they can find and keep love. Idealistic Philosophers (INFP on the Myers-Briggs) have these characteristics:

Internal (Introvert) Energy, represented by the letter I.  They primarily get energy from their own thoughts, as opposed to socializing with other people. Although they can be quite talkative and sociable at times, they can get tired talking too much and may need to retreat to a private and quiet place to recharge their batteries.

Intuitive/Imaginative, represented by the letter N.   Idealistic Philosophers view the world through their imagination and their vision of what is possible. They may not be as practical as the other LoveTypes, but they believe they can eventually bring their dreams into reality. They also believe they have a special mission to fulfill in life, and this vision will keep driving their quest for love and meaning.

Feeling/Sensitive, represented by the letter F.   Idealistic Philosophers make decisions primarily with their heart (feelings). If they need to say something to someone and it may hurt their feelings, they may not say it because they want to maintain harmony in the relationship. As feelers, single Idealistic Philosophers are also “hopeful romantics”—they’re always thinking the next person they meet could be their soulmate.

Spontaneous (or Perceiver on the Myers-Briggs), represented by the letter P.  Idealistic Philosophers tend to be playful, fun, and spontaneous. By other people’s standards, especially the more structured types, they may be disorganized and unstructured. However, Idealistic Philosophers don’t see it that way. They would say they are organized in their own way, and they value people and experiences over strict structure.  Their motto is: You only live once, enjoy it.

Therefore, by combining the four letters above, the Idealistic Philosopher is known as the INFP.

Overall, the Idealistic Philosopher (INFP) can be a warmly appreciative and supportive romantic partner.  In terms of challenges, if you’re an INFP, you tend to be hard on yourself (self-critical) so you need to practice self-love and self-forgiveness.  Here’s the good news: If you can love and appreciate yourself as an Idealistic Philosopher, you can attract a like-minded mate who shares your passion for finding a meaning in life. A good match for you is an Idealistic Philosopher or the more structured Mystic Writer (INFJ on the Myers-Briggs).  Regardless of your disappointments in the romantic world, as an INFP you can discover your compatible love partner. When you meet that ideal soul mate, your joy will have no bounds, and you will create a harmonious relationship that lasts a lifetime.  

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOKSIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALAUBLE KNOWLEDGE. 

YOUR YEAR OF HAPPINESS, LOVE, AND SUCCESS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST MARCI SHIMOFF, WOMAN'S FACE OF "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL," MEGASELLING TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR AND SPEAKER

Is this the year of your prosperity, joy, and love? The answer is a resounding “Yes” according to our distinguished guest on Love University, Marci Shimoff (happyfornoreason.com) the woman’s face of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series and #1 NY bestselling transformational author (Happy for no Reason; Love for No Reason).  In our delightful conversation, Marci shared the secrets of maintaining your happiness and loving nature and achieving your dreams, regardless of any obstacles and problems you may experience.  Here are some of the marvelous insights we learned from Marci:

*Believe the Universe is Loving and Benevolent.  Happy and successful people expect that good things will happen to them. Because of their optimistic and grateful natures, they are open to new opportunities. They are prepared to accept the best and they often receive the best the Universe has to offer.  Repeat this to yourself every day:  “The Universe has abundant good for me—love, happiness, and success. I just need to open the door to my wonderful good.”

*Build Up Your Emotional Immune System. Mood contagion is what happens when you pick up the moods of other people—either positive or negative.  This is especially the case if you are a sensitive or empathic person who absorbs the energy of others. When you’re around negative people, tell yourself:  “I am my own castle of positive energy; no one and nothing can enter and disrupt my peace and happiness. I am protected and safe.  I am content.”

*Take Ownership of Your Happiness.  According to Marci, many people need to have a reason for happiness (“I need a new job, relationship, house, experience…”).  The problem is that happiness from external things soon wears off and you’re back to the emotional state you had before. Lasting happiness comes when you don’t have a reason for your happiness. You are just happy, period. To develop your inner happiness, repeat this to yourself:  “I will not let any unhappy thoughts penetrate my mind. If a negative thought enters my mind temporarily, I will quickly discard it. I will only allow peaceful and joyful thoughts to penetrate my consciousness. I am happy and free.”

*Raise Your Love Set Point. Love Set point refers to a certain baseline level of loving energy that you tend to have in most situations. The good news is that you can increase your love set point; you can become more loving, and you can feel more loved.  For example, you can practice unconditional self-love by loving the unlovable in you (something you consider unappealing about yourself). Part of this is forgiving yourself for any things you have done that you regret.  Also, you can become more loving toward others by giving fully from your heart—doing altruistic and kind acts to help others (giving money to the homeless, listening empathetically to a hurting friend). At the same time, you can look for the similarities and beauty in others and recognize the oneness of all humanity. Finally, you can connect with a Higher Nature (God, Spirit, nature) that is all-loving and helps actualize your potential to love yourself and others to the fullest.

Yes, this will be the year of your happiness, success, and love.  All you have to do is work from the inside out—develop these traits first within yourself—and then manifest them in the outside world. When you do this, you will attract all you desire:  career and financial success, excellent physical and mental health, and an amazing lifestyle.  Yes, this is your year of wonder and accomplishment. Rejoice in it; excel in it, love it.

HOW TO KICK EMOTIONAL BULLIES THE #*#* OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER, WITH EMMY WINNING ACTOR SEAN KANAN, “THE BAD BOY OF KARATE” FROM THE HIT SERIES COBRA KAI

Do you have an emotional bully in your life who harasses, demeans, or criticizes you? Maybe it’s your boss, friend, or even your love partner.  Or perhaps you bully yourself relentlessly, pointing out all of your flaws and weaknesses and making you believe you’re a puny little nothing. If that’s the case, then there is help on the way. Our friend and favored guest, Sean Kanan, Emmy winner and beloved actor in the classic Karate Kid and Cobra Kai franchises, graced us with his advice on how to defeat the bullies in your life. Here are some important tips we learned from master teacher Sean (wayofthecobra.com):

 

*Never compromise your character. Stand firm in who you really are.  Don’t let other people try to tempt you or bully you into doing things you don’t really want to do. When you stay true to your inner self—your Hara (center of power in the East)—you will be happy and proud of your authentic nature. No one can push you off balance. 

*Respect yourself and others. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and other people. Although anger is a common reaction when others try to hurt us, we need to rein in our reactions and do what is best for our mental and physical health. See the angry person as someone who suffers from their own out of control nature, while you maintain your calm and peaceful composure. Practice self-care, breathe deeply, meditate, or engage in a spiritual practice. Conserve your integrity and peace of mind at all costs.

*Take a Personal Inventory. Fear is what holds many people back. In a journal or notebook, write down the fears you have in your life. Note the times you have the fear, the intensity of the fear, and what you did to deal with it.  When you do this, you will discover your fear triggers—when and how you become fearful and anxious. Now you can begin to neutralize the fears and focus on the parts of you that are good, powerful, and noble.

*Think From Abundance. Many times our anxieties, worries, and insecurities stem from our belief in lack—we think we don’t have enough; we’re not good enough. As a result, we settle for being with negative and critical people who feed into our erroneous self-belief that we’re not good enough. The simple antidote is to believe that there is an abundance of love, prosperity, health, and happiness for you. When you think from a mindset of abundance, you never have to settle for less. You can live more and love more, always.

Yes, you can defeat inner and outer bullies by the power of your mind. You don’t even have to throw a punch or kick. Most bullies are cowardly, so having a steely inner mind of confidence, poise, and balance will throw them off balance and defeat them. You can also defeat your inner critical thoughts (thought bullies) by saying: “I don’t need to listen to your poisonous words. I can be free, strong, loving, and happy. I am the Cobra. I am Invincible.”

THE MAN NOBODY KNEW: THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUE STORY OF AN AMERICAN HERO, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, EVAN STEWART, ACCLAIMED SCHOLAR AND AUTHOR

What if I told you about an unsung hero, an American diplomat and businessman, who did incredible things to help America and the world during World War II? This man, one of America’s leading industrialists, put his business career on hold to help save European Jews during WWII, assist in deposing Mussolini, the Italian dictator, and block Germany from succeeding in the war.  On Love University Podcast, we had the pleasure of learning about this mystery man, Myron Taylor, courtesy of award-winning legal scholar, Evan Stewart. In Evan’s latest book, “The Man Nobody Knew,” Evan painstakingly recounts unknown and fascinating details about Myron’s influential, yet modest and humble life, and the way he helped save many lives during WWII. A fascinating portrait of a man who sacrificed for his country and the world, Myron’s life is an inspiration to many of us today who realize that history can, and does, repeat itself.

IS LOVE DEAD? UNCONVENTIONAL MUSINGS ON DATING, SEX, LOVE, AND MARRIAGE WITH VERNON ANTHONY, ACCLAIMED AUTHOR AND CUTTING EDGE PHILOSOPHER

DISCOVER YOUR TRUE GENIUS, FIND YOUR INNER POETRY, AND AGE GRACEFULLY, WITH SPECIAL GUEST DR. DONNA-SPRUIJT-MTEZ, POLYMATH AND RENAISSANCE WOMAN

Once in a while you meet a person who is endlessly fascinating and an absorbing conversationalist. This is who we met when Donna Spruijt-Metz joined Dr. Avila on Love University Podcast.  An Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Public Health at USC, a former professional flutist, and an acclaimed poet, Donna enlightened us on various life topics and inspired us to find our true inner nature and develop a love for learning.

SPECTRUM SUCCESS: HOW AUTISM CAN HAVE HIDDEN ADVANTAGES, WITH SPECIAL GUEST DR. SNEHA MATHUR, AUTISM EXPERT, AND DR. AVILA’S FORMER PRODUCER, THE MARVELOUS REGGIE PERALTA (“A SPECTRUM SUCCESS”)

If you or a loved one is on the Autism spectrum, or if you have been curious about this condition, then you’re about to learn some fascinating things about this often-misunderstood diagnosis. 

On our Love University podcast, we had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Sneha Mathur, autism expert, as she enlightened us on the truth about those who are classified as being on the “spectrum.” 

Sneha talks with Dr. Avila about the natural diversity and creative potential that these unique individuals may possess. Although a number of them can have challenges in social and behavioral areas, they may also exhibit great qualities of creativity, intense focus, loyalty, the ability to detect patterns, and passionate productivity.

According to Sneha, what was once viewed as a severe mental disorder can be reconceptualized in a more positive way that respects the abilities and contributions of these extraordinary people.

THE SECRETS OF LOVE, FAMILY, AND FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST, ANNETTE MACIAS, ACCLAIMED LATINA NOVELIST

THE AMAZINGLY TRUE EPIC JOURNEY FROM SLAVERY TO FREEDOM, WITH SPECIAL GUEST ILYON WOO, NY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF “MASTER SLAVE HUSBAND WIFE”

Imagine if you had to disguise your race and gender or risk capture and death?   This is exactly what happened to William and Ellen Craft, an enslaved married couple in the Deep South during Pre-Civil War times. In 1848, Ellen, whose mother was half-white, disguised herself as a white male slaveowner and her husband, William, played the part of her slave as they traveled North to escape slavery.  Since Ellen couldn’t read or write, she tried to bypass any nosy questioners by having her arm in a sling and pretending to be sick. With various close calls and harrowing situations, they eventually made it North and became activists for anti-slavery. Through it all, their love for each other kept them safe, physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Join celebrated author, Ilyon Woo, and Dr. Avila as they discuss the amazing lives and journey of William and Ellen Craft on Love University, based on Woo’s NY times bestselling Master Slave Husband Wife.  It is a story that will melt your heart and inspire you to reach for your own mental freedom.

LIVE MORE: The Secrets of More Life, More Joy, More Money, and More Love, with Special Guest, Melissa Barragan, Florida’s Queen of Real Estate and Former Ms. Universe Contestant

“My father was kidnapped and killed when I was young. I fell into a deep depression and almost lost the will to live. But then, during my darkest hour, I discovered the magical words “Live More” and my life transformed. I realized that I had more to live and I could teach others about the amazing possibilities of life. I became a Ms. Universe contestant and pageant winner, as well as one of the top real estate producers in the nation, with over $200 million in sales. I work with celebrities and everyday people to help them buy their dream properties. I am Melissa Barragan, the Queen of Florida real estate, and this is my story. Please tune into Dr. Avila’s Love University   and listen as we discuss the secrets of Living, Loving, and Being MORE. I did it and you can do it too.  Love and Blessings, Mellisa. @liv_mor."

FROM WAR TORN CHILDHOOD TO INTERNATIONAL RECORDING STAR, THE AMAZING STORY OF ZANA, THE SOULFUL ARTIST

Is something holding you back from achieving your dreams?  Does the obstacle seem too great?  If so, then you are about to be inspired by our guest on Love University, Zana, an amazing new musical artist who overcame great obstacles to influence the world with her music.  Growing up during the horrors of war in Bosnia and Herzegovina, she escaped and started a new life in the US.

Transforming her pain into power, her music was shortlisted for an Oscar and considered for Grammy nominations in three categories. Her music speaks to the soul and her musical language is love. Listen as Zana raises our spirits by channeling songs through her Higher Nature.  In a candid and uplifting way, she shows us what it takes to drive toward your vision and achieve your most treasured goals, no matter what.

ARROZ CON POLLO AND APPLE PIE: WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO RAISE BILINGUAL CHILDREN, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, MARITERE, AWARD-WINNING BILINGUAL PARENTING EXPERT

Would you like to give your children one of the biggest advantages in life? You can by giving them the gift of being bilingual.  Teaching your children a second language at an early age can open them up to exciting new cultural experiences, advantageous job and career opportunities, and a world of travel adventures.  Join us on Love University and listen as our special guest, Maritere, award-winning parenting expert and author, explains the importance of teaching your child to be bilingual in our fast-changing, technology focused world.

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN PSYCHIC AND CREATE YOUR MARVELOUS FUTURE, WITH SECRET GUEST, KIMBERLY, BELOVED INTUITIVE AND MIND EXPANDER

HOW TO REPROGRAM YOURSELF TO RICHES, LOVE, SUCCESS, AND HAPPINESS WITH DIEGO SOTO, MENTAL TRANSFORMATION EXPERT (BILINGUAL IN SPANISH)

Would you like to create your own reality and achieve your wildest dreams? Now you can by applying a powerful three-part system of mental and physical transformation based on self-hypnosis and neural reprogramming. On Love University podcast, we met Diego Soto, an acclaimed expert on installing new mental frameworks and living successfully.  Diego taught us the three steps for conquering negative thought patterns and implementing positive mental habits to fulfill your deepest desires. On the show, we also witnessed a real-life case study as Diego helped Carlos, one of LA’s most notorious gangsters, overcome his fears and develop a new mindset of peace, love, and hope.   Here are the three steps to inner and outer fulfillment as explained by Diego:

1.Have a Defined Intention:  What is it that you really want in life? Focus on that one goal, and everything else will fall into place. Perhaps, you desire a loving relationship and family life, material comforts and financial security, a beautiful home, wonderful friends, amazing travel experiences, or the opportunity to contribute something positive to the world.  Now that you know your defined intention, write it down, speak it into existence, and focus on it daily.

2. Maintain a Clear Visualization.Through meditation, affirmations, journaling, or prayer, imagine that you are achieving your ultimate aim. Whatever you imagine, make it very clear in your mind. Imagine all of the sights, sounds, tastes, and scents of your dream goal. Perhaps, you see your dream home—a beautiful white house on a hill overlooking a gorgeous sandy beach with clear blue water. You imagine your home filled with loved ones, as you do the creative work you love. You smell the scents of delicious seafood cooking in the kitchen. Your hear the joyous laughter of those around you.
3. Experience the Full Feeling of Actualization.  Once you have a clear intention, and visualize your goal becoming reality, you need to feel it in your body, heart, and soul. What is the emotion you experience when you meet your soul mate, start your dream business to help the world, travel to your most beloved destination? Perhaps, it’s joy, curiosity, love, gratitude, and so on. Focus on that feeling as it propels you beyond your fears and barriers, and takes you to the promised land of your ultimate dreams.

Yes, it’s true. You can create your own reality and change your mind from fear to love, from regret to satisfaction, and from sadness to joy. Practice daily and you will be amazed at how much you can achieve in your inner and outer life.

JOIN DR. AVILA LIVE FOR A TALK: FINDING YOUR SOUL MATE: ASKING THE 4 MAGIC QUESTIONS, NOVEMBER 17TH, 2023, 7PM AT BARNES AND NOBLE (PEMBROKE GARDENS), IN GREATER MIAMI, FLORIDA 

14572 SW 5th St Suite 10140 Pembroke Pines, FL 33027

 

 

THE FINAL SECRET OF HAPPINESS: SELF-FORGIVENESS: ERASE YOUR REGRET-FILLED PAST AND ACTIVATE YOUR JOYFUL PRESENT. FROM DR. AVILA’S ACCLAIMED BOOK, THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS

Have you ever felt regretful or sad about the past? Perhaps, you feel that you’ve made some serious mistakes or blunders that have cost you important things in your life—love, success, finances, opportunities, health, or happiness. If you feel burdened under the pain of lost hope and unrealized expectations, there is good news for you. There is a way for you to recapture your power and joy through the magic of Self-forgiveness: forgiving yourself for any imagined or real errors you may have made in the past. On our Love University podcast, we delved into the final secret of happiness—Forgiveness, especially Self-Forgiveness. We pick up where we left off in the story of our two protagonists:  Harry, the pompous psychiatrist, and Tanaka, the eccentric, but brilliant, martial arts master.  Together, they will discover what forgiveness truly is, and their lives (and yours) will be changed forever.

THE SECOND SECRET OF HAPPINESS: JOYFUL OPTIMISM—THE ULTIMATE RECIPE FOR SUCCESS. FROM DR. AVILA’S ACCLAIMED BOOK, THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS

THE FIRST SECRET OF HAPPINESS: GRATITUDE THE ELIXIR OF JOY: FROM DR. AVILA’S ACCLAIMED BOOK, THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS

Have you ever felt sad, depressed, or futile? It seems that nothing works, you can’t achieve your goals, and the whole world appears to be against you. If you’ve felt like that, then there is a solution for you: It is called Gratitude.  Gratitude is the marvelous recognition that the good that you receive in life comes from outside you. It may come from a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature), your loved ones, or even a stranger who appears out of nowhere to help you (your car is stuck on the side of the road).  Gratitude is a powerful feeling of true appreciation. On our Love University podcast, we delved into the first secret of happiness—Gratitude. We pick up where we left off in the story of our two protagonists:  Harry, the pompous psychiatrist, and Tanaka, the eccentric, but brilliant, martial arts master.  Together, they will discover what gratitude truly is and their lives (and yours) will be changed forever.

THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS, PART ONE: THE BEGINNING OF YOUR MIRACULOUS LIFE, FROM DR. AVILA’S ACCLAIMED BOOK, THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR COPY OF THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS: https://shorturl.at/xLNP5

 

ONE TRUTH: Apply the lessons from the martial arts master and sage, Tanaka, you will achieve ultimate success far beyond your dreams.

There are secrets to happiness—three of them in fact. In this series of transformative talks by Dr. Avila on Love University, you will not only learn the three secrets of happiness, but you will discover how to live a miraculous life. You will achieve greatness in your relationships, career, finances, health, and happiness.  But, first, you will take a journey of surprising enlightenment by meeting our protagonists, Harry, the pompous psychiatrist who thinks he already knows all of the answers, and Tanaka, the martial arts master and sage who breaks down Harry’s ego and shows him the truth of his own being. Get ready to learn the lessons of true contentment as you delve into the story of your own empowerment.

DISCARD YOUR EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AND LIVE THE JOYOUS LIFE: WITH SPECIAL GUEST, JACKELINE CACHO, SPANISH TELEVISION SUPERSTAR AND BESTSELLING AUTHOR

 

Are you carrying emotional hurts, fears, and sadness from the past that are limiting your joy and success?  If so, you can rid yourself of these self-defeating thoughts and feelings and live a free and joyous life.  On Love University podcast, we learned lessons of self-love, forgiveness, and gratitude from Jackeline Cacho, former Ms. Peru contestant, Emmy-nominated TV personality, bestselling author (“My Emotional Backpack", “Mi Mochila Emocional”), and international inspirational speaker. After surviving a devastating three car rollover accident, Jackeline suffered from anxiety attacks for seven years until she learned to master her fear and awaken her inner power. Here’s what Jackeline shared with us:

*Everything happens for a reason; be grateful for what you have. When she saw her father’s dead body (heart attack) at age 17, she was devastated. For many years, she blamed herself for not going to him earlier to save him. But now she realizes that she could not have done anything differently and she needed to forgive herself. She realized that her father is proud of her now, looking upon her from a higher place, as she achieves great things and inspires others.

*Latino women need to speak up.  Jackeline explains how many Latino women remain silent and try to keep a happy face even though they are suffering inside.  The key, says Jackeline, is for all women to awaken their inner power and express their authentic selves. An enlightened woman can achieve her unique destiny while influencing her husband/love partner and children to reach their fullest potential.

*Relationships may not be perfect, but love is.  After 17 years of marriage, Jackeline says she is still deeply in love with her husband. She counsels other couples to recognize that love is the equalizing force in all successful relationships. Although disagreements and problems may arise in the relationship, it’s true that a strong bond of unconditional love will get couples through any obstacle.

After overcoming heartbreak and loss to achieve a life of success and contribution, Jackeline sums up her philosophy with the phrase: “We are all divine creatures—we need to believe in something divine.” When she was in the horrendous car accident, she says a mysterious man came out of nowhere to counsel her, and then he disappeared. No one else saw him, but she is sure he was an “angel,” who was there to help her (she emerged without any physical injuries). As Jackeline advises, we as human beings can all work together to be each other’s angels; we can be loving agents of change to create a better, more beautiful, and loving world.

Are You Sleeping With a Narcissist? Danger Signs and Escape Strategies, with special guest Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, Expert on the Narcissist Mind

Are you with a Narcissist?  The term “narcissism” has been used a lot lately, but there are some truths and myths about what it really means.  A narcissist can be defined as someone who has excessive interest and admiration of themselves, needing constant admiration, and often puts other people down to feel better (lacking empathy). In relationships they can make you suffer.  Our guest on Love University Podcast, Darlene Lancer (Santa Monica Counseling, Psychotherapist in Santa Monica, CA - Darlene Lancer, MFT), therapist and author (Codependency for Dummies), shed light on the narcissistic personality and how to protect yourself from them.

*Narcissists can be exciting in the beginning.  Because they need to win you over to feel good about themselves, they can love bomb you (give you over the top affection, fun, and romance). Once they win you over, then they start to devalue you—you’re never good enough for them.

*Narcissists are wounded early in life. One of the biggest causes of the narcissistic personality is a childhood emotional wound—primarily large amounts of shame.  When parents say, “You’re bad,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way” to children, they often start to feel inferior.  To compensate, they may “inflate” their ego to appear better, stronger, and smarter, while at the same time putting others down to feel better.

*There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. A healthy narcissist is someone who takes care of themselves, and demonstrates confidence, leadership, and goal setting. They believe in themselves and their abilities, and they are able to get things done.  The key is having just the right amount of narcissism (self-love) while also being compassionate and empathetic to the needs of others.

*You can escape from a destructive narcissist.  Because they don’t really value you, narcissists can be destructive to your self-esteem.  To get away from them—relationship or marriage—you can try several approaches. One is to “gray rock” them—you become unresponsive or dull so they leave you. Also, avoid getting into an emotional back and forth argument with them—communicate your needs in a straightforward way, while establishing boundaries (“I won’t accept that”). Finally, cultivate self-love—eat healthy, exercise, engage in your preferred hobbies and activities, spend time with support friends, and cultivate a spiritual or meditative practice.

The key to a happy and healthy life is balance. If you have co-dependent tendencies—rely excessively on your partner emotionally and always put them first—you will suffer from lack of self-worth.  If you have too much narcissism (excessive self-absorption), then you will alienate others and never be completely happy. The solution is to follow the middle path: maintain humbleness and compassion, while also having confidence, self-belief, and self-love. If you do this, you will achieve your potential and develop healthy and balanced relationships.

THE AMAZING STORY OF DAVID AMBROZ: FROM HOMELESS AND ABUSED FOSTER CHILD TO AMERICAN CHAMPION OF CHANGE

The problem of childhood poverty has many consequences. These include homelessness, abuse, and children’s separation from their biological parents.  Our guest on Love University Podcast, David Ambroz, shared his harrowing and inspirational story of being a homeless child caught up in the system (A Place Called Home; davidambroz.com). Eventually through the love of his mentally ill mother, and his own resolve, David graduated from UCLA school of law and has worked at community leadership positions at Walt Disney and Amazon. He was also recognized by President Obama as an American Champion of Change. Here’s what we learned about how to help eradicate child poverty and suffering in the US:

*There is no roadmap to resilience.  David takes exception to research that points out certain characteristics that can help a child become resilient and overcome trauma (e.g., having a pleasant personality).  He explains how, as a foster kid, he could fake having a “pleasing personality” to get food, but that wasn’t necessarily his true nature.  Also, David explains, there’s rarely such a thing as “getting over the trauma.” Now in his 40’s he still chokes up when he thinks about some of his homeless and abusive experiences as a child (covered in lice; eating cereal with maggots; sexually abused).  He explains: “Vulnerability is a superpower—life is the fire that forges you.” In the end, everyone must follow their individual path to health and healing.

*You can choose to have unconditional love. David explains that he chose to have unconditional love for his mother. Due to her mental illness—a form of schizophrenia—she could be alternatively loving and abusive (physically). Yet, deep down, he knew his mother always loved him and encouraged all of her children to “reach for the stars.” David went to law school and his other siblings also achieved rewarding careers.  Now, he has taken care of his mother (for twenty years). He understands her “mental prison” and loves her unconditionally. There is no greater love.

*Storytelling is key to growth and wisdom.  During his childhood years, David read a lot. His mother would encourage it constantly and he spent a lot of time in libraries (also to wash himself in the bathroom). Although the new generations are now reading more on their tablets and phones, and taking in information in smaller portions, it is still a good thing to read.  Ultimately, storytelling is the key to learning and growing—a tradition that dates back to ancient times. Although the medium has changed as technology advances, young people and older people alike can be inspired, motivated, and taught by excellent stories, such as the one David wrote in his memoir, A Place Like Home. 

*Empathy is crucial to helping eradicate childhood poverty. Ask yourself, how would I feel if my child was homeless? Many people avoid looking at homeless people or giving them money (“they’ll use it for drugs”), yet they are human beings just like us. If we put ourselves in their shoes (“For the grace of the Higher Nature—God, spirit, nature—there go I”), then our attitude will change and our hearts will melt. We will want to help in any way we can—by giving money, time, and making a difference at the community and legislative level to improve the condition of the impoverished in this country.

We need more effective community programs to end the cycle of poverty, abuse, and violence. As a community activist, David is a strong proponent of city, state, and federal programs to help poverty victims—children and adults—get on their feet and live purposeful lives. He proposes establishing college dorm rooms (free) for foster teens who want to go to college. In addition, to encourage more social workers to enter the profession, he suggests giving them incentives such as loan forgiveness and loan assistance for buying a house. Other plans include offering more wraparound support services to help biological parents financially and psychologically so they can keep their children, as well as offering benefits to bring more good foster parents into the picture (making them federal/county employees; giving their children free college after ten years of service).  By decriminalizing poverty and encouraging more good people to help children—biological parents, social workers, foster parents, adoptive parents—our youth will have a better opportunity to enjoy a secure and loving environment so they can shine their potential.

David’s message of suffering and hope can be summarized with the phrase, “Our love is all one.”  We are united in our emotions, desires, hopes, and dreams as human beings—regardless of our race, ethnicity, age, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, and so on. The fundamental needs for humans are to have physical and economic security, to love and be loved, and to make a difference or contribution to the world. By working and uniting together, we can help create a brighter future for our children and a loving world for all.

DR AVILA ANSWERS YOUR ULTIMATE QUESTIONS: HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A MIRACLE

Would you like to turn your life into a miracle and achieve your dreams?  Now you can by applying certain time-tested secrets for living your best life.  On our latest Love University podcast, Dr. Avila answers reader’s most pressing questions about how to enjoy the Invincible Life—how to triumph despite the obstacles. Here’s what we learned:

*Shake with hands of love. Imagine that your hands have hundreds of individual loving minds.  When you shake someone’s hand, imagine that you’re transferring loving energy to them as they do the same for you.

*Practice “Right Emotional Memory.”  You may make the mistake of exaggerating the pleasure you received from a bad habit/action (eating too much), while forgetting the pain (feeling bloated; gaining weight). In this new approach you will remember the pain from self-defeating actions (binging on junk food), and you will seek the pleasure of right action (eating healthy and exercising).  

*Stop fearing the relaxation you seek. You may assume that tension is a power that keeps your life together (overscheduling; overuse of technology). Because you’re afraid to be bored or nonproductive, you don’t allow yourself to experience true relaxation and peace of mind. The solution is to take a “technology fast”—put away your devices for a while. Observe your feelings when you’re just sitting still. Part of your mind—self-defeating—will pressure you into checking your devices (“You’re missing something important”). Refuse the temptation and choose the right course of relaxation and peace—you will be happier and more productive in the long run.

*Realize the true battle is not “You against the World.”  When you feel discouraged or discontented you may think that you’re fighting against the world and other people (“I can’t get what I want”). In reality, it’s not “you against the world.” It’s You (Invincible Mind: “You can do it”) versus you (self-defeating mind: “You’re not good enough”).  The solution is to live from your Invincible Mind—the part of you that is at a high psychological level and can’t be harmed by the negativity of the world or your own mind. Think of your Invincible Mind like a pure waterfall of clear water that wipes away all of the dirt and negativity of the self-defeating mind. Now you are ready to live with full joy and creativity.

*To find someone to love, externalize your inner love. You may have chased other people and been frustrated that you can’t find someone to love (who loves you). Perhaps, you feel lonely and jump at the first person who seems somewhat compatible, only to find that you’re getting yourself into another relationship mess. The answer is to love yourself and your Don (God/nature given talent). Take a break from socializing and trying to meet a special someone. Instead, focus on loving yourself and enjoying life. Practice your talent, enjoy a new hobby, engage in a spiritual or meditative practice; spend quality time with close, long-term supportive friends and family members (including dogs and children). One quick way to eradicate loneliness in your mind is to help other lonely and needy people (volunteer, contribute). It’s true: The more you extend love to others without expectation, the more your loneliness will vanish. and love in many forms will take its place in your life.

The answers to life’s most perplexing questions are simple: Love yourself, love others, and love a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). On a daily basis, extend loving energy to yourself and others, build up your Invincible Mind while reducing the self-defeating mind, and take time to nurture yourself and enjoy times of peace and relaxation. If you do these things, you will be on your way to living a miraculous and beautiful life that leaves a lasting legacy for all to see.

FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS: LIFE AND LOVE LESSONS FROM OUR FURRY FRIENDS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, W. BRUCE CAMERON, #1 NY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR (”A DOG’S PURPOSE,” MAJOR MOTION PICTURE)

When NY times bestselling author, W. Bruce Cameron, was on a road trip with his girlfriend, she shared some sad news: Her first dog had just died. She was crying and inconsolable. Then, W. Bruce was inspired to tell her a story about a dog that reincarnates and eventually ends up in heaven with his owner. The story became a beloved novel and movie (“A Dog’s Purpose, and sequels), and catapulted W. Bruce (wbrucecameron.com) as the dog lover novelist (he also married his passenger). Appearing on our Love University Podcast, W. Bruce shared his insights on the unbreakable love bond between dogs and humans. Here's what we discussed about dogs and the lessons they can teach us:  

Dogs and humans are evolutionary programmed to love each other.  In ancient times, the human-wolf (later dog) bond developed as wolves helped humans hunt and survive better. Those humans who worked well with wolves tended to survive and pass along their genes, while wolves who worked well with humans were taken care of and were able to reproduce.  Now, according to W. Bruce, in modern times, it’s in our respective DNAs to love dogs and dogs to love us.

Dogs give us pure unconditional, forgiving love.  People are judgmental, but dog’s aren’t.  A human will say to another, “You look terrible with that shirt,” or “You hurt me back in 2020—I can’t forget it.”   A dog doesn’t care what you look like; they will still love you if your hair is all messed up. They also don't hold grudges (you put them outside when company came), yet they are still super excited to see you when you come get them.   Strive to be the same toward yourself and others—forgiving, accepting, and loving.

A dog enjoys the simple pleasures. We live in a rush-rush society—multitasking, technology overload, trying to cram one more thing into our day.  Take a lesson from dogs—they enjoy the simple pleasures of the moment.  Even a car ride around the corner is exciting for them. When they take you for a walk, they stop to smell everything and really enjoy it.  Follow their example, “Smell the essence of life”—wherever you go, and whatever you do, strive to savor and relish the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of the experience. Slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Dogs fully accept everything.  Dogs are masters at going with the flow. W. Bruce talks about a dog that lost the use of their leg and were in a cart.  Yet, the dog was happy because it didn’t have pain and it could spend time with its loved ones. What a beautiful way for us to live as humans if we could accept everything that happens to us—as we find the silver lining in even the darkest of clouds.

You have a short life span—enjoy every minute.  The average dog has a lifespan of 10 to 13 years. Yet, in that short time period, dogs can pack a great deal of fun, adventure, love, and joy.  You can do the same. Realize that your physical time on earth is limited, but the love you create and share is eternal. Like a dog, you can be grateful for every “treat” you experience in life, and approach each moment of existence with joy and anticipation.

1. Bruce says the biggest concern of a loving dog is what will happen to their human after the dog is gone. Ultimately, W. Bruce’s dog books are about reunification and returning to the ones we love; otherwise known as eternal love.  This uplifted love can be between humans and each other, humans and a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature), and humans and animals.  It’s true that dogs are truly a great gift to our world. They teach us how to be generous, nonjudgmental, and forgiving. They show us how to enjoy the present without worrying about the future or regretting the past. Let’s face it: It’s a dog’s world, and you’re living in it. Enjoy.

YOU WILL FIND YOUR PEOPLE: ELIMINATE LONELINESS AND FIND WONDERFUL FRIENDS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, LANE MOORE, AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN (”TINDER LIVE”)

HOW TO BE A COMPASSIONATE BAD A**: POWER LESSONS FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE, JOY, AND SUCCESS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, SEAN KANAN, ICONIC ACTOR ON “COBRA KAI” AND “KARATE KID III”

Do you feel like you can’t get to the next level of your success?  Are obstacles, both internal and external, stopping you from achieving your dreams. If that’s the case, then get ready for a powerful mindshift into excellence and authentic power.  On Love University podcast, we learned valuable lessons of ultimate success from Sean Kanan, Emmy® winning producer, and talented actor and writer. Sean was the original “Bad Boy of Karate (Karate Kid III) and now appears on the hit series Cobra Kai.  In his new role as “sensei of your mind,” teacher and author, Sean (wayofthecobra.com), reveals some of the most powerful “mind hacks” to get you on the path to ultimate joy, success, and fulfillment. Here’s what we learned:

*Become a Cobra: When you become a Cobra, you are the most authentic, self-aware, empathetic, strong, and confident human being you can possibly be. COBRA is an acronym that stands for Character, Optimization (taking the best action), Balance, Respect, and Abundance. When you focus on developing these qualities, the sky is the limit for your joy and success.

*Welcome to the Kumite. In martial arts, Kumite stands for sparring as well as an epic battle. In the Kumite of your mind, your greatest opponent is “You” (your self-defeating thoughts: “I’m not good enough,” etc.). You can defeat the negative thought energies by being truly authentic, treating yourself and others with respect, and loving without expectation.

*Choose Your Hard.  Sean tells us that you need to choose the hard thing that will bring you the greatest results and contentment.  Marriage is hard, but so is divorce (even harder).  Working out is hard, but so is being overweight (even harder). Therefore, you need to decide if you want a little right pain now (eating junk food) and a lifetime of pleasure (great health), or a little pleasure now (tasty junk snack) or a lifetime of pleasure (poor health). The choice is clear; choose the little right pain now for a lifetime of pleasure.

*Live by Your Creed. A creed is a set of beliefs or aims which guide your actions. In the Kenpo Karate creed, it says, “I come to you with only empty hands, I have no weapons. But should I be forced to defend myself, my principles, or my honor, should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong, then here are my weapons, Karate, empty hands.”  Sean’s creed is to know who you are and never compromise your character.  Don’t act like someone you’re not just to please others. Your greatest gift to the world is to be who you are and shine your talent and love for all to experience.  

During his interview on Love University, Sean explained how he almost lost his life as he was beginning work in Karate Kid III due to a medical emergency. From that near-death experience, he learned the value of humbleness, gratefulness, and never quitting. One of the most powerful lessons Sean learned was “You’re enough.”  By embracing your strengths and recognizing your weaknesses, you realize that you don’t have to be anything different than who you already are. You don’t have to push, chase, or convince anyone to do anything. You can simply be your truest nature and extend your loving energy to the world.  That is your greatest joy and your greatest reward.

Be Proud of Who You Are: A Sister’s Love Story, with Special Guest Cara Mentzel, acclaimed children’s author and sister of Idina Menzel, Broadway and Film Singing Superstar (“Frozen”)

Are you proud of your talent and do you show it to the  world? Maybe you don’t quite believe in your ability and you keep yourself from shining. Even worse, perhaps you’re envious of others who are living the life you wished you could have.  In our latest Love University podcast, we discovered some answers to these questions from our delightful guest, Cara Mentzel. Cara is an acclaimed author (Voice Lessons, Loud Mouse), as well as the sister of Idina Menzel, “The Queen of Broadway” who has voiced iconic songs like “Let it Go” from Frozen. Here’s what we learned from Cara’s insightful adult and children’s books, as well as from her life experiences with her famous sister, Idina:

*Children don’t have to have a thing.  When Cara was growing up, her older sister, Idina, was already demonstrating her great singing talent. They asked Cara if she could sing (“yes, but not like her”) and what she wanted to do in her life (something big like her sister?).  As an adult, Cara advises parents to let children develop interests, talents, and loves at their own pace. They don’t have to have one “thing” they want to do when they grow up. They can try different things; experiment, blossom, and grow—life is an ever-changing puzzle of development and it’s important to be flexible and open (Cara became a children’s author in her middle years).

*Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.   One of the most important traits to develop is curiosity.  When you are curious about other people, you can make new friends.  When you are curious about life, you can learn valuable things.  Always be curious, learning, growing, and experiencing—it’s the best way to live.

*Don’t be afraid to be too big.  In her charming children’s book, Loud Mouse (co-authored with her sister Idina), Cara describes a little mouse who physically grows big when she sings. She grows so big that she knocks other kindergarteners down with her loud voice. She becomes afraid of her talent, but her little sister “Lee” (Cara) says to her “Do you think a star can choose not to shine?” Then her sister, Dee (the little mouse) sings “with a full heart… with my whiskers out proud. I sing it big, I sing it… loud.” In the same way, recognize and embrace your gift or talent from the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) and don’t be afraid to be “too big.” Maybe your gift is science, business, teaching, counseling, writing, speaking, working with your hands, persuading, entertaining, or being a caretaker (great parent). Whatever your  talent is, use it for the good of humanity .You were meant to be big in your own way and share your love and gift with the world.

*Sisterly Love can teach us universal love.  Cara said that one of her greatest pleasures in life is seeing her sister sing before a rapt audience as she shares the magic of her otherworldly singing.  People ask Cara if she has ever been jealous or envious of her sister. She answers: “What would I like better—to have my sister’s talent, or to be the sister who witnesses and feels pride at her sister’s accomplishments?” The answer, she says, is “to experience the joy of her sister’s talent and success.”  Cara also describes how her relationship with her sister reminds her of the beautiful Aspen trees.  Although they look like individual trees above ground, underneath, their roots are all connected, like one organism. In the same way, we are all individuals, but we are also one united support system. We are a connected unit of human consciousness and love.

*Let it Go. As her sister, Idina, sings in the beautiful theme song for Frozen, it’s important to let go of the past—our regrets, mistakes, and so-called failures. You may have been through a divorce, loss of finances, health, friendships, or lifestyle. Yet, it’s important to recognize that there are no wrong answers in life—it’s just you connecting with yourself, the world, and your Higher Nature. As the “Let it go” song says, “To test the limits and break through… I’m free.”

When you have a talent, you can feel blessed, but you may also feel vulnerable. People may say things about you that are not always positive. Yet, if you allow your talent to shine brightly, you will understand that the world needs you. By understanding the vulnerability that comes with strength, you can liberate yourself to be who you truly are. Sing and let your song resonate throughout the world.

HOW TO HAVE GREAT FRIENDS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST, CAT MOORE, USC DIRECTOR OF BELONGING

Have you ever felt shy, lonely, or disconnected from others?  Now there’s a way to connect with others and have great friends.  Our guest on Love University, Cat Moore (cat-moore.com), USC Director of belonging, shared some insights on how to bring positive people into your life and feel a powerful sense of belonging and connection with others. Here’s what we learned:

*Make yourself “Tappable.”  Put yourself out there to interact with people. Go to public spaces, activities, and events. Smile at others, say “Hi,” pay sincere compliments.  Make yourself approachable and chances are someone interesting will start a conversation with you. If you’re shy or Introverted, start small. Say “Hi” to a couple of people and see how that feels. Practice your smile with others. The more you send loving energy into the environment, the more likely someone will respond favorably to you.

*Show Empathy and Listen.  Cat says, “Being listened to with empathy  is the closest thing to feeling loved.  When you’re with others, make sure you listen without judgement—put yourself in their shoes. Ask: “How would I feel if I were in their position?”  When you show up with loving intention, you will be able to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.

*Meet your friends in person. In our hyperconnected society, many people are overwhelmed with virtual relationships, but lack deep meaningful connections on a personal level.  Cat suggests that you meet your friends on a regular basis (weekly) in person if possible (homes, coffeeshops, outdoor locations). According to Cat, we need embodied experiences (not just zoom) to sustain quality connections. Relationships are a living organism that have to be fed regularly for true bonding to take place.  

Although we’ve become more of an internal society with more people working and entertaining from home, it’s important that we balance our social and self-care needs. If you’re more Introverted or shy, you may be perfectly content staying home and not interacting too much with people. Yet, it’s important to remember that other people may need you—your companionship, attention, advice, and love. Also, you can learn valuable things from others, and you can feel that you’re not alone in this big unpredictable world. Love and be loved. That is the essence of human connection. It’s simple, but if you do it, you will achieve a great sense of belonging, peace, and joy.

”I’M NOT BROKEN”: THE MIRACULOUS TRUE STORY OF JESSE LEON: FROM SEXUALLY TRAFFICKED, DRUG ADDICTED, HOMELESS, BARRIO CHILD TO HARVARD GRADUATE AND BILLION DOLLAR SOCIAL IMPACT CONSULTANT

There once was a lion cub who got separated from his mother. A sheep found him and took him in as her own. The lion cub grew into a lion and one day an amazing thing happened. In the distance, he heard the roar of a lion. Suddenly, something powerful emerged within the lost lion—surprising himself, he started roaring as well.  Realizing his destiny, he left his sheep mother without looking back and went in search of his lion heritage. In a similar way, our guest on Love University, Jesse Leon, underwent an amazing transformation to discover his inner lion. Raised in a horrific environment of sexual abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, and hopelessness, Jesse awakened to his true nature by graduating from prestigious universities and making a tremendous impact on his community and the world. He also embraced his authentic nature as a gay Latino man who wants to inspire others to shine their light and love to their communities. We were honored to hear his story, as described in his bestselling memoir, I’m Not Broken (https://rb.gy/uruyp). Here’s what we learned from Jesse:

Channel Your Inner Nerd:  We all have innate intelligence.  You’re smart and resilient no matter where you come from and what you’ve been through. You just need to code switch—apply your knowledge and experience to the environment you’re in and do it for the good of all.

Be Ready for Unexpected Mentors:  Be open for moments of magic when remarkable people come into your life to help you. They may not look like individuals you expect to help you, but they can help transform your life if you let them.

Just Go For It: If you have a desire, don’t think twice, just go for it. Jesse thought his ceiling was to graduate from community college (cosmetology), but he didn’t realize that he could do much more.  With motivating people to guide him, he applied to UC Berkeley and Harvard, and graduated from these prestigious institutions. Jesse says that if you want something, just put yourself out there. Go for it, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you accomplished it.

Jesse’s message can be summarized in a simple phrase: Don’t Stop Until the Miracle Happens.  No one gave Jesse a chance, but he found faith, friendship, and hope in embracing his true authenticity and power within. You can do the same. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter where you come from, You Are Not Broken. You are perfect just the way are. Embrace yourself, love yourself, and extend your love to others without expectation. Nothing can stop you now.

LOVE, LIES, AND LAMENTS: THE AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONAL STORY OF RAPPER AND PRODUCER DANIEL, 3D PEREZ

What would you do if the one you loved cheated on you with their ex and then a gun was pulled on you?  And what if your mind’s expectations of what your parent wanted you to do drove you to think about jumping off a building and ending your life? Sounds hopeless and miserable. Yet, our guest on Love University, Daniel Perez, 3D, overcame all of these challenges to become an up and coming producer, MC, and rapper who is happy to share his amazing story of acceptance, authenticity, and transformation. Listen as Dr. Avila helps Daniel see the beauty of his own inner nature and find the love inside he has been searching for all his life.   

LIVE THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE: ACHIEVE YOUR WILDEST DREAMS

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR LIVE EVENT TICKET TO “THE LOVE MASQUERADE ON APRIL 6^THshorturl.at/pFOQ2

 

You can live the most amazing life possible, despite any setbacks, obstacles, or problems you may face. On our Love University podcast, we learned the secrets of impeccable living and reaching your most treasured goals.  Here’s what we learned:

*Claim your birthright as a King or Queen.  Remind yourself daily of who you are: A Queen or King by virtue of being a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). Claim your inner royalty and decide that you will live joyfully every moment of every wondrous day.

*Expand your Love Energy daily.  In the East, the vital flow of life energy is known as Qi or Chi.  On a daily basis, decide that you will express your positive and loving energy—smile at others, act kindly, listen attentively. When you extend your loving energy into the world, the world will reciprocate with good and wonderful things in your favor.

*Say “I am” and follow it with great things.  The words “I am” are very powerful. When you add positive and uplifting words to the “I am” sentence, you will be uplifted and encouraged.  Say “I am healthy,”  “I am rich—both materially and spiritually,” and “I am loved.” When you speak positives after “I am,” you can accomplish great things and live joyfully.

There you have it.  Three simple things you can do daily to live an extraordinary life:  Claim your royal birthright, expand your love energy daily, and say “I am” followed by great statements of positivity.  You’re on your way now to actualizing your full potential and achieving your deepest desires.   Enjoy every minute of your journey to the ultimate You.

GETTING YOUR SECOND WIND: HOW TO TRANSCEND YOUR LIMITS AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE

Have you ever given up on a relationship, career/business, or lifestyle choice and then later regretted it? Would you like to have more power in your life to persist and accomplish the things you truly desire? If you answered “yes,” your solution is to catch your second wind.  William James, the esteemed psychologist, coined the term “second wind” to describe how you can persist through obstacles and tap into a deeper layer of energy and motivation to achieve your goals. Runners catch their second wind after running for a period of time. They are able to enter into the mindset called “Flow,” in which they lose track of time, worries, and even their very body—feeling joyous and uplifted in the process. Here are some ways you can access the power of your second wind:

*Cultivate a Fruitful State of Mind.  Adopt a mindset of positive expectancy (“things will work out just fine”), gratitude (“I am thankful”), and meaning (“I have a purpose”). When you do this, you will be able to push through barriers easier to reach your goals.

 *Practice Kaizen.  Kaizen is a Japanese term that means “continuous improvement.” Every day strive to make small improvements.  If you want to get in shape, you may start by working out only 15 minutes, and then gradually increase your time and frequency as you feel the pleasure and gains of your workout.

 *Participate in Persistent Contagion. Moods and mindsets can be contagious. Study and learn from successful “Second Winders” who have overcome great obstacles in life. J.K. Rowling was a single welfare mom when she wrote Harry Potter and became one of the wealthiest authors of all time.  Thomas Edison, famed inventor, “failed” thousands of times in his quest for the ideal light bulb filament, but he never saw failure. He said he learned many ways that wouldn’t work so he could find the way that would.

*Have a Strong Back, Soft Front. Another term from the East, this means that you will have resilience (strong back) when you face problems, but you will also have compassion for self and others (soft front).  In this way, you are balanced and firm when circumstances go against you, while maintaining your sense of love and humanity along the way.

*Take a Second Wind Inventory. In a pad, tablet, or notebook, write down the times when you got a second wind. Although you wanted to quit, you didn’t give up on a relationship, business/career/educational, or lifestyle decision. By not giving up, you experienced something wonderful and beneficial. Also, for the next two weeks, push your comfort zone a bit to get to your second wind. Maintain that yoga position or fast a little longer, make that uncomfortable call you need to make, do less of the bad habit (excessive social media use) that drains your energy. Record how you feel and your results—you will find that Second Wind becomes more natural and ingrained in you the more you do it.

In the end, you will realize an important truth: The wind is always blowing. It’s up to you to flow with the wind—instead of trying to fight against it. Be like a kite who is taken up by the wind—soaring majestically into the skies as you actualize your dreams of love, joy, success, contribution, and legacy.

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR LIVE EVENT TICKETS TO “THE LOVE MASQUERADE ON APRIL 6^THshorturl.at/pFOQ2

LOVE YOUR WORK, LOVE YOUR LIFE: HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AN ABSOLUTE JOY

Do you love your work or is it mainly a way to make a living? Now there’s a way to love your work and make as much money as you need. On our Love University Podcast, we explored the secrets of doing work you love and achieving everything you desire.  Here’s what we learned:

*Tap into your Don. You Don is your Higher Nature (God/nature)—given talent.  Perhaps you’re gifted in writing, entertaining, caretaking, teaching, science, business, hands-on crafts, mechanics, or the like.  When doing an activity, ask yourself: “Does this activity make my heart sing and my spirit soar?” If it does, then it is your Don. Once you discover your Don, devote as much of your time to developing it as you can. When you tap into your Don, your self-esteem and self-confidence increases and you realize that your Don, used rightly, can be part of the restoration of the earth.

*Give the fruits of Your Don to the Higher Nature.  After you’ve discovered and developed your Don, your next step is to mentally give the fruits or results of your Don (money, accolades, status) to the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). In other words, you’re not working for the rewards of your work. You’re simply doing what you love to do and that is all. You’re giving away your talents in service to others as a result. You’re not burdened by the expectation or pressure of earning a certain amount of money or receiving some type of benefit from your labor.  As a result, you can do infinite work without getting tired because you are approaching it with a lighthearted and loving mindset.  In turn, the Universe/Higher Nature will bring to you all of the success, well-being, and joy that belongs to you.  It will come to you naturally and abundantly.

*Express kindness in the workplace.  They say the workplace can be filled with hostile, gossiping, and conflictual people and situations. Although this may be true, your task is to bring the energy of kindness to the workplace. On a daily basis, strive to relieve the suffering of the people in your work environment, including employees, manager, customers, affiliates,  and business partner. On a regular basis, perform acts of kindness.  For customers or clients, you can offer an unexpected gift or discount; for service providers, you may give them an extra tip or bonus.  At the office, you can help a co-worker with a difficult task. You can tell your supervisors, co-worker, and clients how much you appreciate them. In this way you create a “Kindness Chain” in which one person’s kindness inspires another to be kind as well. In this atmosphere of kindness and compassion, work satisfaction and productivity will be significantly increased.  

Yes, you can love your work and love your life. All you have to do is tap into your Don, give the fruits of your Don to the Higher Nature, and express kindness in the workplace. When you do these things, you will be one step closer to actualizing your true potential and using your gifts to uplift yourself, your loved ones, and the world.  As the famed Lebanese poet once said, Khalil Gibran said, “Work is love made visible.” Now it’s your turn: Go out this week and make your love visible in the work you do as you leave a legacy of goodness, light, and contribution.

Click here shorturl.at/pFOQ2 for our Love Masquerade Live Event on 4/6/23, where you can meet your potential soul mate based on your LoveType (romantic personality style).  

ANGER THOUGHT DEMON: MASTERING THE PUPPET MASTER OF FURY

Have you ever lost your temper and said and did things you later regretted?  If so, you were likely under the influence of the Anger Thought Demon—excessive and blown out of proportion anger thoughts that needlessly cause damage to yourself and others.  On our Love University podcast, we learned powerful tools for mastering the Anger Thought Demon and maintaining a mind of peace, calm, and love. Here’s what we learned:

*Analyze your anger triggers. In a notebook or pad jot down the things, people, and situations that trigger your anger (e.g. traffic jams, mechanical failures, rude people). As you become aware of the things that make you mad, you will take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from the Anger Thought Demon.

*Give yourself a space between frustration and reaction.  Take a time out when you feel yourself boiling over with extreme anger (perhaps an argument with a loved one). Take a walk, exercise, listen to music. Don’t react or add to the Anger Thought Demon at the moment it rears its ugly head; simply let the anger go through you until it is no longer in control.  Then, come back and pick up the activity or conversation from a more relaxed mindset.  

*Learn the Reverse Lesson. Observe angry people and do the opposite of what they do (maintain peace). Study those who are under the fiery influence of the Anger Thought Demon. See how their fists clench, their faces turn ugly red, and their voices become shrill or screaming.  Take notice of how they harm relationships and career/business opportunities through rageful reactions. Realize how much they suffer from their out of control anger and resolve that you will be different. You will be a calm, peaceful, and loving person who is in command of your mind at all times.

 

Although some anger can be useful to right wrongs and correct injustices, the Anger Thought Demon is a harmful exaggeration of your feelings of hurt and disrespect that can lead to self-harming actions. It’s true that many people in our society suffer from the Anger Thought Demon. The good news is that you can live peacefully in an angry world. All it takes is an awareness of the Anger Thought Demon and a desire to take the necessary steps to separate yourself from its fiery, destructive influence. Imagine a life of peace, love, and contentment.  This can be your life when you eradicate the Anger Thought Demon from your mind—once and for all.

Watermelon Hunter in the Land of Fools: Parable for a Worry-Free Life

 

Have you ever wondered why fear and worry rule your life?  It’s because you haven’t learned how to transform fear into power and worry into security.  In the Watermelon Hunter parable on Love University Podcast, you will learn the secrets of a worry-free life. The Watermelon Hunter is a tale about a wise man who helped a land of foolish and worried people find peace and security. Now sit back, relax, and listen as you uncover the time-honored mystery of ultimate confidence, love, and joy.

Compulsion Thought Demon: How to Overcome the Never-Ending Chase for Nothing

Have you ever wanted something badly that you knew was no good for you?  Perhaps, you were addicted to a substance, behavior, person, or way of life that was self-defeating or self-destructive. If so, you were probably under the influence of the Compulsion Thought Demon—the damaging irresistible thoughts that compel you to sabotage your life by indulging in unhealthy behaviors and getting involved with toxic people. Fortunately, there is a way to overcome bad habits, addictions, and compulsive behaviors that you can’t control. On our Love University Podcast, we learned powerful ways to vanquish the Compulsion Thought Demon so you can pursue a healthy and satisfying life. Here’s what we discovered:

*Give Your Desires an Upward Turn. When you feel overcome by an overwhelming desire for something harmful (e.g. staying in a toxic relationship), you will give your desire an upward turn. In other words, you will transform your unhealthy desire into a healthy and uplifting one. In the relationship example, you will channel your craving for the exciting, but toxic, person into a strong desire for a compatible, high quality soul mate who provides you with genuine love. You will search for a quality and loving partner with as much intensity and desire as you pursued the unhealthy and toxic relationship. Now when you meet that wonderful person, you will feel a sense of joy and accomplishment.

Keep A Compassion Journal. In a pad or notebook, write down all of your harmful compulsions (activity, substance, person) and record all of the details you can remember about the compulsion. Write down when they occur, their intensity and ability to overwhelm you, how you feel when they first influenced you (excited, anticipating), and how you feel when you have indulged in the compulsion (letdown, regretful).  Doing this will raise your awareness of just how much compulsions rule your life and will give you a blueprint for how to eradicate them from your daily existence.  

Draw Your Compulsion and Imagine it Disappearing.  Now in your pad or notebook, draw what you think the Compulsion Thought Demon looks like—give it a color. Maybe you see it as a cloud of black smoke (smoking compulsion) or a red creature with a pointy head (road rage addiction). Now imagine that your Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) is lifting the Compulsion Thought Demon away from you—vacuuming the black smoky (or red) figure out of your mind permanently. Visualize that you are being cleansed of the Compulsion Thought Demon’s relentlessly craving and chasing thoughts, and you are becoming mentally free.

As you do these exercises, your mental burden will become lighter. Where before, you yielded to the compulsion, or futilely tried to fight it with your own mental willpower, now you can relax. You will let your Higher Nature fight the battle for you and kick the Compulsion Thought Demon out of your mind, once and for all. You are free at last.

FEAR THOUGHT DEMON: HOW TO QUIET THE MONKEY MIND OF TREPIDATION

Has fear and worry ever got ahold of you and made you suffer? If so, you were under the influence of the Fear Thought Demon. The Fear Thought Demon consists of self-defeating and exaggerated thoughts of fear: “Watch out, you will lose your money, relationships, health, and even your life.”  These attacking thoughts constantly warn you that bad things will happen to you in the future, and you will lose everything you value. The good news is that there is a way to get rid of the Fear Thought Demon once and for all. On our latest Love University podcast, we became acquainted with some powerful ways to vanquish unnecessary and exaggerated thoughts of fear and worry. Here’s what we learned:

*Rewire Your Brain From Rabbit to Lion. In nature, the lion is powerful and confident; it sleeps a lot because it has little to fear from other animals. The rabbit, on the other hand, is on every animal’s menu. They are always scurrying around, fearful they will be eaten at a moment’s notice. If you’re like a fearful rabbit, you can become a fearless lion by associating pleasant and relaxed feelings with things that make you afraid, worried, or stressed. For example, let’s say you feel overly stressed at work and you fear you can’t do all of the work you need to do. If that’s the case, then try this exercise: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine that you are in a beautiful relaxed place in nature; perhaps a beach, mountain, or lake. Mentally breathe in the fresh air, experience the sounds, sights, and feelings of the gorgeous locale. By doing this, you will relax your mind. In place of anxious and worried thoughts, you will associate pleasant, relaxed feelings with your workplace. You will be happier and more productive as a result.  

*Play to Your Strength.  The theory of multiple intelligences tells us that individuals can have different kinds of talents (musical, kinesthetic, verbal, interpersonal, etc.).  You probably have one strong talent or ability that you can utilize to build your confidence and reduce your fear, worry, and anxiety.  Perhaps, you’re good with words, numbers, people, ideas, or machines. Whatever your greatest ability is, focus on developing and applying it as much as possible. In fact, your aim should be to spend about 80% of your time using your gift/talent and only 20% of your time (or less) on improving your areas of weakness.  However, chances are you may be spending a lot more time working on your weaker areas and not enough time on building up your strength—this leaves you weakened and fills you with doubt and anxiety. Focus this week on devoting a majority of your time working on your strength, and you will feel more relaxed and capable as a result.

*Use Fear as an Ally.  Realize that rational (realistic) fear can be a valuable asset.  Evolutionary psychology tells us that we developed the fight or flight mechanism as a protective mechanism. When we face danger, our bodies are filled with chemicals that enhance our ability to run or fight so we can survive. Therefore, some fear can be adaptive and helpful (“don’t walk in a dark alley alone at night in a dangerous area”). Yet many people exaggerate fear and are afraid or anxious even in situations where there is very low (or no) risk of danger or harm. Therefore, your task is to use reasonable fear and caution as a friend (“get insurance, watch your diet, be wary of emotionally dangerous people”), while still maintaining your faith, confidence, and optimism. When fear starts to become the Fear Thought Demon (irrational and excessive fear), you can put a stop to it and say: “Fear Thought Demon, go away; you don’t control me anymore. I am confident, loving, and at peace. I am perfectly fine and happy without you.”

Love University students, go out this week, and declare a Fear Thought Demon free week.  You will act like a lion, play to your strengths, and use rational fear as an ally for protection when necessary.  Along the way, you will counteract excessive thoughts of fear with thoughts of success, power, and happiness. Make your mind a reservoir of positivity, and you will never have anything to fear. Only light, love, and joy will fill your mind and heart—enjoy every day, every hour, and every minute of your life with the fullest appreciation and contentment.