Love University with Dr. Alexander Avila

SPECIAL GUEST ARIELE FORD, AMERICA’S GODMOTHER OF LOVE, REVEALS “THE SOULMATE SECRET”: MANIFEST THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WITH THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Would you like to find your soul mate—that compatible love partner who makes your heart sing with joy? Now you can with the help of our illustrious guest on Love University, Arielle Ford. Formerly America’s top publicist, launching the careers of Deepak Chopra and the Chicken Soup for the Soul guys among others, she had an amazing realization at age 43: She was single and wanted a soul mate. Utilizing the law of attraction to find her own wonderful husband, Brian, Arielle moved from publicity matching to soul mate matching as a bestselling author and teacher. Here are some of the powerful tips we learned from Arielle that you can use to find your own soul mate.

 

*Use Feelingizations to Attract Your Soul Mate: It’s important to add feelings when you visualize or meditate on your soul mate. Light some candles, play some soft music, and visualize that you are extending love to the world, and to your prospective soul mate. See him or her as already being in your life as your experience joy, gratitude, and love. When you add feelings to your visualization about your soul mate you unleash a powerful magnetic force that will attract him or her to you.

 

Prepare for Your Soul Mate/Clean Out The Negative Past: Prepare for your soul mate by cleaning out self-doubts (“I’m too fat, too old, too unattractive to find love”), as well as negative energies about past relationships. Write down and repeat your positive traits (funny, smart, loyal, loving). Visualize that your exes are vanishing from your life (like popped balloons), create a treasure map in which you post pictures about the incredible life you are having with your soul mate, and clean out your house of negative energies from your past relationships (imagine sweeping out the negative energies with a broom). Buy extra blankets or sheets for your soon-arriving love partner, leave room in your garage for an extra car to park (your soul mate’s), and buy a bathrobe for your soul mate (male or female). Once you leave a space for your soul mate to come, he or she will arrive.

 

‘Live “As If” You Already Had Your Soul Mate: A single man was invited to a wedding and he replied with a “plus one.” Although he didn’t have a date, he visualized that he was attending with his soul mate, and soon thereafter, he met her in person. Live in gratefulness as if you already have your soul mate in your life. Buy two tickets to a great event (anticipating your soul mate joining you), write them a beautiful card they will receive when you meet them, and so on. You are sending out a message to the Universe: “I am ready for my soul mate—they are here now by my side.”

 

Savor the Waiting: Instead of growing impatient and frustrated that your soul mate is not here yet, think of being in a wonderful restaurant waiting for the delicious food you love. You would wait in anticipation as you think about all of the mouthwatering food you will eat. In the same way, think of the waiting period for love as a savoring time in which you look forward to meeting your soul mate on the physical plane while enjoying the last period of time of your singlehood. Enjoy your single freedom while you have it as you anticipate transitioning to a beautiful life of couple love.

 

Open Your Mind to Frequencies of Love: Many singles are too picky and judgmental potential romantic partners—deciding within a few minutes if they want to continue dating someone. Usually, it takes various encounters to know if this person could be your soul mate, so it’s important that you don’t immediately reject someone after a brief meeting. At the same time, when you’re out in the social world, don’t just think of meeting a soul mate; consider that you may meet different people in your life for different reasons: the funny friend, the advice friend, the activities friend. Although they may not be your soul mate, your friendship with them may open you up to meeting the love of your life. Perhaps, you meet your soul mate through your friend (their friend or family member), or when you’re out with your platonic friend doing some enjoyable activity. Be open to expressing fun and loving energy in many forms with different people and your soul mate will manifest themselves when you least expect them.

 

Remember that finding a soul mate is a two-part process: Action and Surrender. One, you go out and take action steps to meet your soul mate—clean out your negative energies, visualize your soul mate’s presence in your life, participate in social activities, make new friends. At the same time, you relax and surrender your desire for a soul mate to a higher nature—God, universe, destiny. You have faith and belief that the right person will come into your life when the time is right.

Finally, when you create a true soul mate partnership, it can last even beyond life and death—as many beautiful stories have been told of departed partners who still speak to their soulmate on earth (and reunite with them in another realm).

 

Here’s the good news: If you have the seed of soul mate love within you, you can attract the love of your life and create a light-filled relationship that fulfills your destiny and makes a positive contribution to the world.

 

AS SEEN ON DR. OZ: TIFFANY ROTHE, BOOTY SHAKING YOUTUBE FITNESS SENSATION: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERFECT HEALTH AND FITNESS

Would like to get fit starting now and entering the big year, 2020? If so, our special guest on Love University, Tiffany Rothe, Dr. Oz fitness expert and YouTube sensation (120 million hits), can help with some psychological advice on how to achieve maximum health and fitness. No matter how much you have struggled with exercise and diet in the past, there is hope for you to achieve the look and health you desire. Here are some tips we learned from Tiffany Rothe that you can use in your personal life:

 

*Reprogram Your Habits: Emotional eating is a big part of weight gain. You may eat when you’re bored, lonely, tired, or stressed. The key to healthy eating is to associate positive (non-calorie producing) activities with negative feelings. Instead of munching down that rocky road ice cream when you get home stressed from work, work out for a few minutes, meditate, listen to music, read, or spend time with loved ones (or loved animals). By feeding your emotional hunger for relaxation and well-being, you reduce your actual physical hunger.

 

*Take a Daily Internal Shower: Think of each workout you do like an internal shower in which you cleanse yourself of toxins, stress, and negative energy. Even a 10 minute workout—pushups, sit-ups, running, or walking—can help your feel reinvigorated and re-energized with a more positive outlook. Just like you take a daily shower to cleanse your body, take a daily “internal exercise shower” to refresh your mind, body, and soul.

 

*Surround Yourself With Health-Affirming People: Mood contagion theory tells us that people’s negative (or positive) moods can be contagious. As a result, it’s important that you surround yourself with people who are positive about fitness, exercise, and diet. They don’t have to be as fitness-orientated as you are, but they should be accepting and encouraging of your desire to get into the best health and shape possible. With their support, you can achieve even greater fitness gains.

 

*Commit to Get Fit: You may say to yourself, “I will get fit when I have fewer responsibilities at work,” or “When I get someone to watch my children,” or “When I have more energy.” All of these reasons can hold you back. The better approach is to make a commitment to your health and fitness—losing x number of pounds, looking better, feeling healthier—and then arrange your schedule and lifestyle to accommodate your fitness goals. Also, visualize yourself looking slim and trim (or muscular) for a vacation, to attract a soul mate, to be more energetic and confident at work, or to feel like a more confident and loving person. Mentally connect your fitness and health goals to your strongest desires, and you will be more motivated to keep going and achieve the look and health you desire.

 

Yes, it is possible to lose weight and keep it off. Yes, you can be fit, toned, and healthy. It will take effort, discipline, and commitment but the results are well worth it. The healthy mind and body philosophy is this: You can choose a little pleasure now (eat unhealthy junk food, be a “couch potato”) and a lifetime of pain (poor health and appearance). Or, you can choose a little pain now (get off your rear and exercise; eat some healthy food that may not be as tasty) and experience a lifetime of pleasure—being fit, attractive, energetic, and confident while increasing your likelihood of having a longer and healthier life.

 

It’s your choice. Choose the fitness and health route and you will enjoy a more loving, happy, and productive life.

SPECIAL GUEST, CLAUDIA DURAN, FORMER PLAYBOY EXECUTIVE AND UBER LUXURY MATCHMAKER, REVEALS THE SECRETS OF LOVE AND RICHES IN THE MODERN DATING MOVEMENT

We had the pleasure of having my friend, Claudia Duran, uber luxury matchmaker, on Love University. Claudia has put together a fabulous free program called the Modern Dating Movement, in which she interviews the top 21 relationships experts in the world to teach people how to find and keep love in our high-tech, fast-moving world.

Here are some nuggets of wisdom we learned from Claudia and her Modern Day movement, now available, FREE (including gifts) at tinyurl.com/y3f8cef2.

The Problem With Singles Today: We’re so digitally connected that we’ve become lazy and want instant gratification. Old school ways of dating—working through relationship issues; being more open and vulnerable—have turned into branding and trying to put on an image of what we think others want to see.

Be Authentic: The key to true love and connection is to recapture and exude your authenticity as a human being and dating/love partner.  Wear what makes you feel sexy and attractive; go to meetings and events that resonate with your true interests. Resolve to express your true nature to everyone you meet and you will naturally attract the one who resonates with the true you.

Slow Down and Find Your Ideal LoveType: The speed dating plan—apps and technology—is not necessarily the right approach because singles get to know each other superficially and quickly—once the initial attraction fades, the relationship may go nowhere. Find out your true personality style and the person who resonates best with you (take the LoveType quiz at lovetype.com), and aim for a lasting relationship that builds over time.

Add Kindness to Your Beauty Regimen: Many people want to find an attractive partner yet beauty is variable depending on the person. One of the most attractive things in a person are their inner traits: humility, kindness, and patience. Strive to develop these inner traits and you will be more attractive to yourself and others.

The Masculine and Feminine Blend: In Eastern philosophy, Ying is the receptive and feminine energy; Yang is the masculine and take-charge energy. Some women have more Yang; some men have more Ying. The key is to find someone who resonates with your own Ying-Yang style and your desires. Two Yangs—strong energies—can do well if they take turns wielding the power. A Ying male and a Yang female can work things out if they respect each other’s style. The key is respect and acceptance (of your self and your partner).

Combining Love and Business: Yes, it is possible to find a soul mate and build a business and humanitarian empire at the same time. Some examples of couples who have successfully combined love and business include Grant and Elena Cardone (real estate and education), Bill and Melinda Gates (technology and philanthropy), and Sara Blakely (Spanx) and Jesse Itzler (owner Atlanta Hawks NBA team). The key is to be clear about your goals and your desire to build a legacy with your entrepreneurial love partner that will help people and last beyond your time together on earth.

Yes, it is possible to create an amazing and beautiful lasting love connection in our frenzied technology-obsessed “selfie” world. Whether your goal is marriage or a loving partner, you can achieve this by tapping into your true authenticity and connecting with the person who resonates with your inner nature.

To receive your free gifts and videos from the Modern Dating Movement, click on to tinyurl.com/y3f8cef2

 

 

LAUGH YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS: INTERVIEW WITH STEVE KAPLAN, WORLD-RENOWNED COMEDY EXPERT

 

 

Has life got you down? If so, it’s time to laugh your way to success. Laughter has been proven to reduce stress, increase optimism, mood, and motivation, and make your more attractive to other people. Plus, you feel so good while laughing.

Recently, we had world-renowned comedy author and teacher, Steve Kaplan, on Love University, as he shared some great tips for applying comedy and humor principles into our daily lives:

*Laugh and the World Laughs With You: In psychology, mood contagion occurs when you are affected by others people’s moods (happy, sad, angry), or they are affected by your mood. Applying this principle, it’s a good idea to smile and laugh frequently, and others will tend to respond in the same jovial way to you (except for a few of the humorless types). At the same time, surround yourself with kind, good-hearted people who have a good sense of humor about life. These “humor” buddies will help lift your spirits when you feel down as you do the same for them.

*Maintain Hope: A comedy is usually about an ordinary person struggling against insurmountable odds without ever giving up hope. In the same way, you can maintain your faith and hope that you will win in the end—this positive, optimistic mindset can lead you to great success despite turmoil and obstacles.

*It’s Not That Bad: In comedic philosophy, you learn that everything that happens to you is OK. If you lose the relationship; you can find a better relationship, or you can learn how to be a better lover. If you lose the job, you can find a better job, or better yet, start an entirely new career or business. The things that seemed the worst often turn out to be the best things that happen to you.

*Share Who You Are: There are many different kinds of comedians: nerdy/loser types, insult comics, angry comics, depressed comics, observational comics, and so forth. The key to the success of the best ones is that they are always true to themselves. In a similar way, make sure you share your true nature with people in your everyday life—even if you think others may not like it. Some people will love your style, and you will be happy to connect with those who truly resonate with you.

*You Have Permission to Win: In improvisational acting/comedy, the participants are given permission to win utilizing whatever creative means they can to solve a practical problem or social dilemma. In the real world, you can psychologically give yourself permission to win. Tell yourself that you can win the heart of your desirable romantic partner; you can discover fortune and career satisfaction;; you can find happiness, health, and peace;. By giving yourself permission to win, your chances of actually enjoying life increase significantly.

Yes, applying the psychology of comedy and humor to your life can help you achieve an entirely new level of joy, satisfaction, and success. With joy, optimism, and humor as your guiding principles, you can go a long way to establishing a lasting positive imprint in your world.

 

 

 

 

THE SURPRISINGLY UNEXPECTEDLY MARVELOUS INTERVIEW: STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY, SPIRITUAL AUTHOR AND AMERICA’S MOST BELOVED CHARACTER ACTOR, NED RYERSON, IN GROUNDHOG DAY

For those of us who are experienced public speakers and radio hosts, it’s not often that we are taken aback or thrown off guard by a guest. Thoroughly researching a show guest and understanding the nuances of personality, we can take pride in our ability to “read” guests and understand their platform and where they are coming from.

Yet, when we had Stephen Tobolowsky, the great character actor on Love University (USA TODAY calls him the 9^th most frequently seen actor with over 200 films), we were in for a surprise. Expecting a funny and charming character actor, we discovered an enlightening, humble, loving, and kind teacher of wisdom. A spiritual author with an amazing life story—surviving a gun held to his head for two hours, broken neck in an accident, and triple bypass heart surgery—he inspired and elevated our show with his practical, yet profound wisdom, on how to live the unexpectedly blessed life.

Here are some nuggets of excellence we gathered from Stephen’s appearance on Love University:

*Be Open to Unobserved Miracles: When Stephen broke his neck in an accident, he thought his life was ruined. One day, he asked his wife to move his bench from the patio to the backyard so he could have a different view. Amazingly, he saw things in a more beautiful way—the birds in the trees, the shadows moving across the yard—and then he made an amazing discovery: He saw beautiful parrots in his tree he had never seen before. Then, he remembered an old tale about a pet store that caught on fire 35 years earlier in Studio City (where Stephen lived), and the owner saved the parrots by releasing them into the air. No one had heard about what happened to the parrots until Stephen saw them in his own backyard—living there all this time! By moving his position—frame of mind—he found a “miracle”—something totally unexpected and wonderful that brightened his mind and elevated his spirit.

*Get Rid of the Mental (and Physical Junk): Stephen says his wife has a rule: “If you don’t wear a shirt for two years, throw it away. You’ve changed; it doesn’t fit. Move on.” In the same way, we need to do periodic mental housecleaning and get rid of our mental junk: irrational thoughts (“we’re not good enough”), downward feelings (sadness and regret), and habitual self-defeating behaviors (eating and drinking too much; procrastination, gossiping, obsession with time-wasting activities and non-productive relationships). Once we get rid of the valueless, we find the true value in our lives: affirming thoughts, uplifting emotions, and heathy and productive behaviors and relationships.

*Always Think of Creating Addition, Not Subtraction: After his neck accident, Stephen sank into a depressed state. But then he realized a great truth: “I feel better when I think in terms of addition, even if it’s a small thing.” Stephen realized that if he could change the way he looked at his yard, go on a minor audition, or make a little change in the way he did things, he could feel that he was adding to his life, instead of subtracting (losing) something. It worked. He started feeling more whole, holy, and loving. In the same way, you can think of ways that you can add to your life: Maybe spend 15 minutes a day in exercise, prayer, or meditation. Start a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for every day. Say “hello” and smile to three people you encounter every day, say “I love you” to someone you care about. These little things, when added up, can be big additions in your life and will improve your psychological and spiritual health in the process.

*Realize that Death is Real, and Life is Precious: Facing death multiple times, Stephen enlightened us with the idea that “The idea of death is a wakeup call.” Once someone close to you dies (or when you face a health or life crisis), you realize that you may be next to die, and your time on earth is limited. There is no time to waste. Once you realize this, you are empowered to make the most of every day. Despite fear, weaknesses, and setbacks, you can access your God-given talents and gifts to live a joyful life and give love to others.

*Leave a Legacy: “Kadosh”: Kadosh is a Hebrew word that means “sacred” or “holy.” Kadosh occurs when we pass along our stories of wisdom, courage, suffering, and love to our children and their children (and so on). It also means creating a legacy from our life on earth—something beautiful that will stand after we are gone. After all is said and done, the one thing we have to leave behind is a legacy of love and contribution to our children/loved ones (and generations to come), as well as our spiritual family on earth (friends, neighbors, and even those we will never meet). Live your life every day as if you are leaving a fantastic legacy—a lasting imprint of your time on earth that celebrates the joy, the love, and the wonder of life as you lived it.

Yes, Stephen is an amazing and surprising guest. We loved every minute of it, and learned how to live a fun-filled, loving, and legacy-filled life. Thank you, Stephen.

HOW TO SURVIVE A TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENT WITH STEVEN DANLEY, DISEASE OF MANAGEMENT EXPERT

A toxic work environment (emotionally damaging and negative) costs billions of dollars a year and results in low productivity, high absenteeism, and early termination.

If you’re in a toxic work environment—your boss is negative or critical or your coworkers are underhanded, manipulative, or attacking—there are things you can do to protect yourself:

1. Purify Yourself When You Get Home

When you get home, cleanse yourself from the negativity of work. Take a nice bath or shower, do fun things with family and friends, and engage in a positive practice such as exercise, spiritual affirmation, or a creative hobby. Doing this will help dissolve the negative feelings from work and will refresh and invigorate you.

2. Find an Emotional Expression Partner

Talk to a friend you can trust and express your frustrations about work. Even if they don’t offer you a viable solution, just listening to you empathetically can make a big difference in helping you feel better.

3. Look For The Positive Aspects of the Job

Even if your job is negative and the people are emotionally draining, see if you can find something useful from the job. Perhaps, the training is good or there is something you can learn that you can apply in a future job. Even dealing with negative and gossiping people can be a psychological growth-inducer as you develop tougher emotional skin.

4. Have An Exit Strategy

If you can’t tolerate the job at all, write down a strategy for getting a better job, career, or even starting a new business. This will motivate you when things are tough at work, and eventually your plan can become a reality.

5. Keep Your Boundaries

   It’s important that you protect your emotional and physical health by saying “NO” when you have a bullying and unreasonably demanding boss. Although it may be difficult to say “No” to your employer (you fear losing your job), it’s important that you take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Take your lunch break, don’t come in too early or stay too late (unless you really want to), don’t work on weekends or from home on your time off, and don’t respond to your boss at all hours of the night. Establishing and keeping boundaries will raise your level of self-respect and will help you maintain your emotional balance.

6. Make Your Workspace Positive: Although negative energy can be swirling around you from other people, you can bring some positivity into your work or office space. You can place posters that bring you peace, pictures of your loved ones, and life-affirming sayings that inspire you. Do what you can to make your space positive and relaxing so you can create a cocoon of emotional protectiveness.
7. Be Authentic

Too many people lose themselves in their job and sacrifice their integrity and what is important to them. Although it’s great to work hard and be dedicated to your job, it’s more important that you act according to your true nature. If your employer is repeatedly asking you to do something that is against your deepest values and beliefs, then you need to take a step back and reaffirm your position and beliefs. Take a stand for who you really are inside.

Although a toxic work environment can take a toll on your psychological and emotional health, you can survive, and even thrive, if you take care of your emotional integrity. Eventually, when you are able to leave (financially and practically), you will do so and grow into a stronger and more loving human being. Then, you can take your experiences and help others thrive in their work as well. After all, as the great poet, Khalil Gibran once said, “Work is love made visible.” Bring love into your work, and it will never seem like work.

TAMING THE BLACK DOG: FROM GRIEF TO GRATITUDE, WITH STEVEN SEWELL, AMERICA'S GRIEF EXPERT

 

Loss and grief can hit us unexpectedly. A loved one gets sick and dies.  We lose our job, love, or health. Grief can be overpowering and lead to feelings of sadness, despair, and hopelessness. Fortunately, there is a light that can shine on your grief and bring you to a state of healing and wholeness. In my interview with esteemed grief expert and pastor, Steve Sewell, we learned the hidden answers to moving from Grief to Gratitude:

 

*Carefully Pivot From Grief:  Some people try to get back into their lives quickly after a loss (serious illness, death of loved one, financial setback, or relationship breakup). They want to get back to work or business, start another relationship, make a financial move. However, moving too quickly while experiencing grief can be a mistake—leading to poor decision-making. The better approach is to take your time—don’t make decisions quickly when you’re under the influence of grief. Don’t sell a house, buy a car, take a vacation, or start a new romance or relationship, until you feel you’re ready. Another mistake occurs when people try to run away from grief by distracting themselves with everyday pleasures: food and drink, relationships, travel, entertainment. Although these things can provide some comfort, in the end grief will return—perhaps even stronger. Your best approach is to experience your grief head-on and take the time you need to heal from your emotional wounds.

 

Do Prayer Walking;  You don’t have to have a specific religion or even be overly spiritual to pray. Prayer is simply a calling to the higher; an expression of love and gratitude to a higher entity (God or nature) that brings good to you.  When you prayer walk, you walk around and notice the beauty and goodness of life, and you feel happy and curious about what you see—applying the lessons to your own life. If you see a tall tree, you pray, “Let me big and strong like that tree.” If you’re at a beach, river, or lake, you say, “I would like to flow and harmonize like the water I see.”  As you walk through the world, you observe the wonderfulness of nature and all living things, and you express gratitude and wonder for everything you experience.

 

Write Down Your Grief and Hope Points:  As you go through grief (perhaps a loved one died: parent, spouse, child, sibling, friend), write down in your pad or journal your “grief and hope points”—the things that make you sad about the loss and the things that bring you hope. Although you suffer pain from the death of your loved one, you will also write down how you have grown as a human being because of the experience. Perhaps, you are more compassionate and empathetic to the suffering of others. Maybe, you are more patient, and you live life more fully, because you realize how fragile and precious thing life is.

 

Ask the Right Questions to Impose Meaning:  Grief only has the meaning you put on it.  By itself, losing a loved one, or losing something dear to you (youth, looks, health, finances, love) is painful and doesn’t appear to have any redeeming qualities. It’s up to you to find the meaning in your loss by asking meaning-filled questions. Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” ask, “Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?” A mother lost her son to a violent crime and then decided to become a foster mother to give love to those children who didn’t have parents—helping in her own healing process.  Place the meaning on your grief, and you will have a reason to keep living and loving.

 

*Move to a Higher Plane of Hope and Gratitude:  It’s no easy task to fully experience grief—sadness, tears, depression, and sometimes even hopelessness and futility are common. Think of the noble man, Job, who lost his livelihood, family, and his health and wellbeing, yet still maintained his faith in a higher good. When you fully experience grief, there comes a time when the tears have started to dry and the meaning has kicked in—at this point you can have hope in a better future, and gratitude for having experienced what you had, but lost—the love of your life; your earlier successes in life; your contributions to the world. When you experience a deep loss or death, you become a “New Normal.” You won’t necessarily be the same person you were before, but you can grow into someone stronger, more compassionate, and more loving.

 

In the end, you realize that the only thing you can take with you in this world is the same thing you can give while you are here: Love.  When a loved one dies, the only thing that truly lasts is the love you experience for them in your heart and mind. As long as you are alive on this earth—living, breathing, working, enjoying, and loving—you have a special gift called Life. This is what you can share with others as you leave a legacy of goodness, joy, love, and peace.  

RELAX YOURSELF INTO PARADISE: THE KEYS TO STRESS-FREE LIVING

We live in a stressful world. Constant overstimulation from technology, worries about our loved ones, work, career, finances, health, and happiness—all of these cause us to feel stressed out, overburdened, and stretched too thin.

Now, there’s a way to relax and bring joy and peace into your life by learning the 5 Keys of Stress-Free Living, as follows:

 

*MAINTAIN ONE POINT FOCUS ON THE IMPORTANT: In our increasingly complex, technology-connected world, we find ourselves overbooking, multi-tasking, and perennially distracted. The solution: Do one important thing each day. You may want to sit down and talk with your love partner, kids, or best friend. Spend time with your pet, write creatively, learn a new recipe, work on new business plan, exercise, practice a spiritual path. Whatever it is, consider this your priority for the day. If you do this one important task, you are done. You can relax, rest, and perhaps later pick up a secondary task.

 

*VISUALIZE SERENITY: With your eyes closed in a comfortable place at home or in a natural setting, take ten to fifteen minutes each morning and evening to visualize a beautiful and peaceful place. Maybe, you see a beach, mountain, lake, or river. See yourself there alone or with a loved one (or a special animal). Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Ask yourself: What do you see there—what colors? What do you smell? What sounds do you hear? How do you feel emotionally? This simple exercise will brighten the beginning of your day, and leave you with a satisfied feeling at the end of the night.

*TIGHTEN AND RELAX: When your body becomes tense with stress, one simple exercise to practice is “Tighten and Relax.” For 5 to 10 minutes each day, stand with your feet shoulder length apart and extend your arms straight ahead. Now, take a deep breath through your nose (hold your breath), as you form fists with your hands, and tighten your arms and entire body. Hold this position (and your breath) for 5 to 10 seconds, then let your torso collapse (while still standing) as you exhale. Feel all of the tension suddenly leaving your body as you swing like a rag doll while standing. You will feel a tremendous release of tension and anxiety when you practice this exercise.

*WIND DOWN BEFORE BED: Many people have their cell phone in bed or nearby, TV on, and other technology in their bedroom. Yet, this overstimulates your mind and makes it difficult for you to fall asleep. The key is to turn off all of your technology devices—cell phone, pads, TVs—for 30 minutes to one hour before you go to sleep. Instead, follow a relaxing bedtime ritual. Read a book (yes, the old-fashioned kind), take a bath, make love to your partner, pet a dog, read the children a story, write in your journal. Whatever you choose as your pre-bedtime ritual, make sure it is relaxing and comforting so you can ease into a good night sleep.

 

*CULTIVATE YOUR MEANING PRACTICE: One of the greatest stress-relievers is to have a “Meaning Practice”—Live daily with your life’s purpose or meaning in mind. For some, people that is a religious or spiritual practice, in which they live their lives for their God, higher power, or spiritual nature. For others, it means being a compassionate, loving, and contributing human being, being loving toward their loved ones and children (and neighbors), and leaving a lasting legacy of goodness. When you have a meaning practice, the little things in life—traffic jams, technology breakdowns, rude and obnoxious people, temporary financial difficulties—don’t have the power to keep you down. Even larger challenges and obstacles—trauma, loss, suffering, even death—lose their psychological bite when you have something to live for that is higher than yourself. You feel more secure, comfortable, and loved when you know, deep down, that there is a positive and wonderful purpose for your existence on earth.

 

Yes, it is possible to live a relaxed and peaceful life in a world of turmoil and strife. It is said that those who can keep their heads about them, while all others are losing theirs’s (letting anxiety control them), are true powerful human beings. You can be one of those psychological invincible people who can maintain calm and peace in times of difficulty and stress. At the same time, your calmness and relaxation can inspire others around you to do the same and live with peace, love, and meaning.

SPECIAL GUEST: MARIANNE WILLIAMSON: PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, SPIRITUAL BEST-SELLING AUTHOR: THE FORCE-MULTIPLIER OF LOVE

This week we welcomed Marianne Williamson, presidential candidate and internationally acclaimed spiritual leader, to talk about love as a force multiplier for good in society. More than just a gushy or sentimental feeling, Marianne eloquently conceptualizes love as an essential political, societal, and spiritual power than can uplift our country’s collective consciousness. With the politics of love, suffering can be diminished; peace, prosperity, and well-being can be established; and humankind can be enlightened.

Here are some of the myths about love that were shattered and the fascinating insights that we learned from our interview with Marianne Williamson:

*Love is a Reversal: Unconditional love, also known as Agape, Bhakti, or Karuna, is based on reversing our attention from me to we—by developing empathy and compassion for all life forms—and seeing ourselves in those who suffer and in those who love. As we spread our loving energy outwardly, we also enhance our own inner nature and spirit—giving the love we receive and receiving the love we give.

*Love is a Weapon for Good: Much more than a romantic or sentimental feeling, Love can be used as a practical tool to redress societal injustice, reduce suffering, and bring health, peace and prosperity to our society. Adapting from the Karate Creed, we can develop a Love Creed (set of beliefs which guide our actions):

LOVE CREED 

I come to you with only Agape, Unconditional Love.

I have no weapons.

But should I be forced to defend myself, my principles, or my honor,

Should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong,

Then, here are my weapons,

Agape: Unconditional Love

 

Love is a Force Multiplier: A force multiplier is a factor that allows us to accomplish greater things than we could without it. In military terms, morale—the capacity for people to pull together for a common purpose—is a powerful force multiplier which greatly maximizes the fighting capacity of its troops. In the same way, those who love are in a war against those who hate. The way to defeat hate is to collectivize love (group it together) so that it becomes a weapon of mass healing and goodness. By volunteering for charitable and political causes, being well-informed about national and international affairs, and giving a helping hand those who need it, average citizens can multiply the power of love to defeat hate, anger, and prejudice.

 

Love is Optimism: Optimism comes from the root word, “Optimus,” to expect the best. When we are optimistic, we are happier, healthier, and contribute more to the world. Our children are a great source of optimism since they still possess the naturalness, openness, and zest for life that some adults lose as they get bogged down in the worries of the world. By helping children—economically, politically, and spiritually—we can recapture our own lost spirit of childhood hope and enthusiasm. When children have inadequate food, education, and material necessities, the enthusiasm and optimism of the world diminishes. When our children suffer, we suffer because our hope and future is tied with them. When children prosper and are healthy—emotionally, physically, and spiritually—we as a nation, and as individuals, also prosper and feel more love inside.

 

Love is Atonement: When we do something wrong or owe a debt, it’s important that we correct it or pay for our wrongdoing. This is called atonement and serves to set things right and purify ourselves. In Jewish tradition, it is called Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement); in Catholic tradition, it is called Confession. In a larger scale, atonement means giving compensation to certain groups for past injustice and oppression as well as educating ourselves and others about the dangers of tyranny and hate. Atonement in a society and governmental scale can purify the spirit of a nation, just as it can rebirth the spirit of the individual. There is great love to be found in atonement because we demonstrate both empathy (putting ourselves in the minds and hearts of others) and compassion (relieving the suffering of others).

 

Love is Gratitude: Gratitude is when you give thanks for the good that comes to you—recognizing that it comes from outside you; from a higher power, from loved ones, and even from strangers. Grateful people are among the happiest people on earth. One thing to be grateful for are the great contributions we have received from those who have come to this country and have left their mark of goodness, love, and advancement. At the same time, those who came here can also be grateful for the wonderful opportunities they have been given in this great nation of ours. Gratitude is a connector—instead of separating us into groups based on racial, religious, or cultural differences—we see that we are all the same inside. We all fear, we all feel sad, we all feel pain; yet we also all laugh, we dream, we serve, we grow, and above all, we love.

 

The Power of Love is Stronger than the Love of Power: In society today, the love of power and material gain has become the “monster within.” Forgetting the elements of spirit that make us truly divine and authentically human, too many people and institutions have forsaken basic decency and kindness for profit and ego-enlargement. Yet, we can recapture and enhance the power of love in our personal lives, as well as collectively in our society and government, by being politically active, choosing worthy causes to support, and offering financial, emotional, and spiritual assistance to those who need it the most.

 

         Some may say that a society or government based on love sounds like a fantasy dream or unrealistic utopia. But the real fantasy is that we can survive another 100 years as a civilization if we don’t bring love into our societal and governmental structures, as well as into our interpersonal lives. In the end, Love will prevail because love is all that remains of who we are and what we have accomplished on earth. With Love as a force multiplier, we can vanquish fear and move into a new world order of love, kindness, compassion, strength, and elevated humanhood.

RETURN TO LOVE: PREVIEW OF OUR UPCOMING INTERVIEW WITH MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND ESTEEMED SPIRITUAL AUTHOR, ON AUGUST 21ST, 2019

We are pleased to welcome Marianne Williamson, Presidential Candidate and esteemed spiritual author, to Love University on Wednesday, August 21^st at Noon Pacific Standard Time. This week as we await the arrival of Marianne, we explore her best-selling book, A Return to Love (39 weeks on the NY Times bestseller list), and its wonderful message of love and transformation.

 

In a world filled with stress, anxiety, anger, and sadness, there is a powerful force that can help our society return to a peaceful and joyous place: It is the power of Love—the essence of goodness, caring, and affection that we have for ourselves, others, and a higher nature. Although fear may permeate our lives at times, Love is the only thing that is real; the antidote for defeating fear.

 

Here are some ways to Return to Love in your life:

 

*Rediscover your childhood loves. Ask yourself: What did I want to be as a child? Astronaut, actor, writer, teacher, scientist, entertainer, businessperson, parent, President? Consider what it was about those dreams that excited you. Although you may not want to be those things today (or maybe you do), think about what you can do now that aligns with your earlier interests, goals, and passions. Perhaps, you will want to fly a kite, collect dolls or coins, study history, art, or nature, care for pets or children; create, write, or invent; start a business, travel, go back to school; engage in a spiritual, meditative, or exercise practice—these are just some of the things that may reignite your passion for life, for the Real You.

*Get rid of everything that is not Love in your life. In some ways, love is a ridding process. To bring more love in your life, begin to distance yourself from negative and critical people; start eliminating bad habits or addictions that limit and enslave you. Maybe, you will cut down on eating unhealthy food or ingesting substances that harm you. You will work to minimize bad habits like worrying, procrastinating, and trusting in the wrong people. At the same time, you will substitute your old patterns and behaviors with new, uplifting ones: healthy diet and exercise, a spiritual practice, fun activities, time spent with positive and loving people, doing creative or fulfilling work. As you reduce the fear and sadness-producing activities and people from your life, you will fill the gap with joyous and uplifting things, people, and activities.

 

*Give up your desires to the higher. From the East, we learn the marvelous idea of surrendering our need for results; to trust that God (spirit, essence, universe) will provide everything we need. For example, instead of worrying so much about how much more money or accolades you want to receive from your work, decide that you will surrender the “fruits” (results) of your efforts to a higher, benevolent force. You will work simply because you are exercising your “Don,” (God-given talent) for the good of the world. Instead of worrying about whether you will ever find a loving partner, say to yourself: “I will extend loving energy to others, and I will leave the results of finding a soul mate to the higher (God, essence, nature). In this way, you are no longer frustrated or disappointed by what comes (or doesn’t come) your way. You are content in simply doing what you have been called to do.

 

*Understanding relationships as levels of learning. Instead of seeing a relationship as something that will give you things—security, affection, sex, companionship—think of a relationship as a school that will teach you important lessons. Each relationship you have in life is based on a stage. Stage 1 consists of casual acquaintances; people you say “hi” to on a regular basis. Stage 2 relationships are those in which you have a lesson to teach each other—maybe the relationship or marriage ended, but you still learned something valuable. A Stage 3 relationship is your Lifelong Learning Partner—here to help you grow (as you help them grow) through your lives together. Lifelong Learning Partners are people who are well-integrated within themselves and have a deep understanding and acceptance of each other despite their flaws. Their purpose is to unite together to create light in the world—this is the most beautiful relationship to have.

 

*See love as the only thing of value in a situation or encounter. In any interaction, ask yourself: “Where is the love here?” If you’re negotiating with a merchant, you may decide to slightly overpay on occasion because you want to help their business or family. Realizing that money is a form of loving energy, you are confident that you are building bonds of cheery affinity with this person, and the money will flow back to you at some point. When you have empathy for another human being, you see life from their point of view. When this occurs, you realize that you are one with that person. If you do harm to them, you will harm yourself; if you give loving energy to that person, you are giving love to yourself.

 

Realize that love is strong, not weak. Although love is caring and patient, it is also practical, realistic, and powerful. Sometimes, you need to express tough love and tell someone, “Knock it off: I won’t tolerate that.” If the person is on the wrong track and doing the wrong things, you are being most loving when you help redirect them in the right direction. They may or may not listen to you; but you have done your duty in offering them a respectful love that can help them if they wish to take it.

 

In the end, Love is the only thing that matters. When you die, it is the only thing you can take with you—the love you have created   on earth, which will keep regenerating in the hearts and mind of the people you touch.

ASK MARIANNE A QUESTION LIVE ON OUR SHOW AND RECEIVE A FREE GIFT (FOR THE FIRST 10 CALLERS): LET US KNOW YOUR QUESTION BY WED, 8/14/19, 6PM CALIFORNIA TIME, TO LOVEUNIVERSITYLOVE@GMAIL.COM AND 310-226-8090

KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LASTING PASSION AND CONTENTMENT

Love is around you everywhere. In a partner’s touch, a dog’s attention, a child’s smile, work done with passion. Love is an energy, a force, that transforms our lives and makes us want to get up in the day; it can bring us joy and contentment; peace and well-being. Yet, love can also go away, especially in intimate and personal relationships, leaving us with pain, confusion, and heartache. When you’re married, or dating someone for a while, you may see that the spark of excitement and love seems to dim; you may no longer feel the same way about the person as you did in the “honeymoon stage”—when everything about your lover brought you joy and contentment.

Fortunately, here are some scientifically proven ways to keep the love alive in your relationship:

 

*Do a Love Self-Analysis. Ask yourself: “What kind of lover am I? What do I value in a relationship?” Is sexual attraction very important to me? Or friendship? Or practical or spiritual considerations? Am I a lovable person, as I am right now? The more you know about yourself, who you are, and what your talents and needed areas of growth are, the better you will be able to contribute to a lasting and successful love relationship,

 

*Love Map Your Partner: Write down the things you want in a partner (or the thing about your partner that you like). Also note the things you want that they may not have. Consider if this is something they can develop (joining you in certain activities) or if it’s something they can’t or won’t change (their social style; lifestyle habits). Decide how important these things are to you, and if the other positives your partner brings to you compensate for what is lacking.

 

*Establish Your Presence While Preserving Your Space. Research shows that couples thrive when they do exciting things together; traveling to new places; trying new experiences (hot air ballooning), learning new things (ballroom dancing). At the same, time, they do better when each person has a sense of personal space and independence to pursue individual hobbies and interests. A crime novelist married to a criminal court judge can share ideas with each other; yet, they can be distinguished and accomplished in their respective fields—thus feeding the attraction they have toward each other for their individual successes.

 

*Develop “Love Blindness.” Research shows that the number one compatibility trait that happily-in-love people have is that they see their mates in a very positive light—almost as a positive illusion—in which they idealize their mate and see them as attractive, loving, charming, funny, and a “great catch.” This may not seem to be the case to a disinterested observer, but to the mate of that individual, it is definitely so. The key, therefore, is to constantly reinforce—think about and express—what you love about your partner. Although they may have some flaws you may want to help them work on, you are much better served to focus on their strengths, as doing so feeds the love between you.

 

*Respond to Emotions, Not Words. When couples argue or fight, they may hurt each other’s feelings because they focus on the words (critical/judging) or tone (harsh, loud), instead of the feelings behind them. Ask yourself: “What is my partner really feeling here?” Don’t look at the obvious but go deeper into the feeling. If they’re yelling at you because you didn’t call them when you said you would, you may see anger, but underneath that, they may be fear (abandonment). By understanding their true feeling, you can respond appropriately (“Honey, I will be here for you; what would make you less afraid?”). This type of honest, deep communication can make a big difference in your relationship.

 

*Cultivate Joy for Life. Studies have found that couples who maintain loving, long-term relationships have an inner excitement and joy about living. Every day they wake up, they look forward to doing things with their love partner, partaking in fun and exciting activities, sharing time with loved ones, doing work they love. As a result, they bring their positive enthusiasm and joy for life into their relationship as their partner does the same. In the same way, on a daily basis, do the things that bring you joy; whether it’s exercise, meditation, creativity, a spiritual practice, caretaking, teaching, learning, or trying new things. Listen to uplifting and educational podcasts and videos; read inspirational material that can help you increase your joy and excitement for life and your partner.

 

It is possible to maintain, and even increase, the love you have for your romantic partner, and life itself. You just need to remember two simple principles about love:

Love is a Deep Understanding of Another. It’s a full appreciation of the person by your side; putting yourself in their shoes and feeling as they feel. It’s embracing the entire person—flaws and talents—and loving them as they are.

Give Love Without Expectations

This is the greatest secret of all. When we are kind, loving, and patient to our mate—and others—without expecting anything in return, we are practicing the highest form of love: Unconditional love (Agape). In this way, love becomes a discipline—it flows from inside us. We don’t worry if others will return our loving energy in exactly the way we want them to. We’re not disappointed, frustrated, or angry if they don’t do what we want. Instead, we have a relaxed and carefree feeling—knowing that we have a great resource of love to give. The more we give, the more it is replenished internally—and the more love those around you (especially your love partner) will give you in return.

 

It’s time for your daily love boost. Strive to make this a most loving and enjoyable week with your partner and the people you care about.

IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCES: THE NEW WAY TO EXPERIENCE LIFE AT ITS FULLEST, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, JOURNALIST AND TRANSMEDIA EXPERT, NOAH NELSON

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL: HOW TO DEFUSE A RELATIONSHIP TIME BOMB

Are you a victim of emotional blackmail? Does your love partner use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to manipulate and pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do? Emotional blackmail occurs when your partner or mate uses fear and guilt to force you to do what they want (and what you don’t want).

 

In the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship, you may find it cute or romantic that your honey wants you to text them throughout the day. But later when you don’t keep it up, they may become angry and use fear (“I’ll leave you”) or guilt (“You don’t love me anymore”) to control your behavior (texting them constantly).

 

If you’re the victim of emotional blackmail, here are some things you can do to regain your integrity and emotional freedom:

 

*Recognize that you deserve a respectful “blackmail free relationship.” Realize that it takes two people to create an emotional blackmail relationship: The abuser and the victim. You can choose not to be the victim by withdrawing your participation in this unhealthy type of relationship. By doing so, you recapture your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

 

*Create a contract with yourself. On a piece of paper or on your iPad, tablet, laptop, or phone, write out a “No Blackmail” contract with yourself. You can write something like “I commit to getting emotional blackmail out of my life and relationships. I won’t let fear or guilt control me anymore.” Read it aloud to yourself every day and incorporate it into your interactions with your mate and the important people in your life.

 

*Set Boundaries and keep them. A boundary is a set of social rules you maintain for how others should treat you. For example, you won’t tolerate your partner demeaning you in public, calling your derogatory profanities, or being physically abusive. Once you set a boundary, be firm in keeping it—letting your partner know you won’t stand for it when they try to violate it (e.g. Yelling at you in front of other people).

 

*Practice saying “No.” When you’re by yourself, practice saying “No.” Say, “No, I won’t do that,” and “The answer is ‘no.’” You can start by saying “no” to small things you don’t want to do; for example, you may not want to see a movie your partner likes. You can say, “I don’t want to see this one; let’s choose a movie we both like.” The more comfortable you get with saying “no” in small things, the more your confidence will increase. You realize that you can be loving and committed in your relationship without having to go along with every single thing your partner wants you to do.

 

*Communicate with “I Feel” statements. Instead of using “you” statements in an accusatory way (“You’re so controlling”), practice saying what you feel with “I” statements. For example, you can say, “I feel stressed and less loving toward you when you try to make me things I don’t want to do.” Doing this will soften the interaction while getting your feelings across to your partner.

*Create a safe space to think. When you’re feeling emotional pressure to do what you mate wants you to do, don’t respond immediately. Take some time away from them. Go shopping, work out, take a walk. Let your cooler head prevail as you detach yourself from the situation and ask yourself, “Are they asking me to do something reasonable or unreasonable?” and “Do I really want to do this, or do I feel pressured to give in to keep the peace?” All love partners ask things of each other; the key is whether you feel you have the right to say “yes,” or “no,” and whether your partner respects that. With a clear mind, you can respond in a more intelligent and rational way to what they are asking of you.

 

Seek Professional Help: Your blackmailing partner may not want therapy if they don’t think they have a problem—they may blame you and say that you are the one who is causing the problem (you’re not doing what they want you to do). If that’s the case, you should seek therapy yourself so you can have the tools to deal with the emotional blackmailer and possibly leave the relationship if it’s the right thing to do.

 

Everything starts with loving yourself. When you love yourself with self-kindness and self-compassion (not in a selfish or egotistical manner), you have more true love to give to a partner. Loving yourself means that you won’t put up with emotional blackmail, pressure, and abuse. It means that you will treat yourself and your partner with kindness, compassion, and respect as they do the same toward you.

 

It’s true: Only a truly respectful and compassionate relationship—both inwardly and outwardly—can give you the satisfaction and joy you seek. Make sure you fulfill your relationship potential and maintain your emotional freedom so you can love more fully.

FROM TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH: “THE JESTER HAS LOST HIS JINGLE”: WITH SPECIAL GUEST, BARBARA SALTZMAN, CANCER ADVOCATE AND DEVOTED MOTHER OF DAVID SALTZMAN, BEST-SELLING CHILDREN’S AUTHOR

Sometimes it seems like laughter has left the world today. Problems, losses, and tragedies fill the minds and lives of many. But, amidst this turmoil and pain, there is a ray of hope and laughter as we learned when we had the privilege of listening to our guest, Barbara Saltzman, a remarkable woman who is making a miracle out of the early cancer death of her beloved 22-year- old son, David. Traveling the country, speaking on hope and laughter and giving away thousands of copies of her son’s best-selling children’s inspirational book, The Jester Has Lost His Jingle, Barbara enlightened our show with her sage words of wisdom on how to turn tragedy into triumph.

 

Here is some of her advice:

*Turn crying into smiling and laughter. Barbara tells us, “When you feel like crying turn sadness on its head. Sing your loudest and dance your best, even when the music is not playing.” In psychology, the Facial Feedback hypothesis tells us that by smiling, our muscles release certain brain chemical that help us feel more joyous and happy. When you’re feeling down or depressed, that’s the time to go in front of your mirror to smile and laugh. Put on some upbeat music, maybe dance a bit. Although initially you may not feel like doing it, by getting your body in motion, you release the brain chemicals to elevate your mood.

 

*Recognize the “Jester” inside of us. The “Jester” is the part of us that is spontaneous, fun-loving, and hopeful. It is optimistic and joyful, just like a child. No matter how old you are, you still have this Jester inside you—maybe it’s been deeply buried under a mountain of resentments, disappointments, regrets, and failures. But, it is still there. Find the activities or hobbies that can re-energize your Jester: maybe it’s writing, art, meditation, a physical activity; being with friends, animals, nature, or children; a spiritual practice; traveling, giving to others. Whatever that special activity is, spend more time doing it, and be observant as your Inner Jester comes out to play and enjoy life again.

 

*Practice group laughter: In psychology, mood contagion, is when we are influenced by other people’s mood (good or bad). If we walk into a room of complaining and bitter people, we may start to feel the same. On the other hand, if we associate ourselves with happy and jovial people, we can start to pick up on their joyful energy. Try this exercise: Get a group of friends or acquaintances together, and just start laughing. You don’t have to tell a joke or do anything—just laugh. Do it for several minutes—as the laughter gets louder and crazier. This will build great positive energy in the room, and you will feel great. No matter how silly you may feel in the beginning, go ahead and roar with laughter (the neighbors may think you’re a little crazy until you invite them to join in. Remember, laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you.

 

*Find meaning in the tragedy: Some of us undergo heartbreaking tragedies: the breakup of families to divorce, the pain of losing a love one (especially a child) to an early death; the loss of health, dreams, and hope. Yet, underneath the pain, there are lessons to be learned; meaning to be obtained. The truth is simple: All of us will die. The difference is in what we leave behind: a heap of bitterness and sorrow or a legacy of goodness, love, and contribution. We can take inspiration from the amazing example of Barbara who took her deceased son’s children’s book and made it a national phenomenon and nonprofit organization to help children with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses.

Research science has shown that laughter, optimism, and feelings of love can help people heal faster from many types of illnesses and psychological problems. By finding the Jester inside us—the spontaneous, loving, and compassionate side of our natures—we can release all the goodness and joy we have inside us; to benefit ourselves, our loved ones, and the world itself.

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES: SPECIAL GUEST, AMY ALKON, "ADVICE GODDESS": UNFUCKOLOGY: HOW TO LIVE WITH GUTS AND CONFIDENCE

 

 

Do you feel stuck in your life—inhibited, frustrated, or defeated? If so, there are definite steps you can take to live with guts and confidence and achieve your goals. In my fascinating interview with behavioral science expert, Amy Alkon, we delved into the scientific secrets of living successfully and joyfully.

 

Here are some of the tips you can incorporate to improve your life based on scientific research:

 

*Go for Small Wins: Instead of overwhelming yourself with big goals, start with small successes—what psychology calls “approximation to the goal.” If, for example, you want to solve a big problem (world hunger), begin by helping in small ways—give a sandwich and pair of socks to a homeless person. If you want to find your soul mate and are shy, talk to several appealing people; regardless of how they react; you secure a small win just by attempting to make contact.

 

*Have a Funeral for the Loser You: In the presence of a friend, take an old picture of you and tear it up (or burn it if it’s not a fire hazard)—as a symbolic gesture that you are leaving the old negativity in your life behind. You are on your way to becoming the new person you want to be. Rituals like this have power because they combine new thought with action, and help you leave old negative patterns behind.

 

*Be Inauthentic to Your False “Shitty” Self: If you’re authentic to your self-defeating negative self (“I’m not good enough), then you will get more of your old self-defeating thoughts, habits, and actions. Instead, choose a set of values for the type of person you want to be; for example, someone kind, confident, loving, respectful, and self-compassionate. When you select the guidelines for who you want to be—and live by those precepts—you will gain a significant amount of confidence and well-being in the process.

 

*Limit Your Choices for More Freedom: Research shows that we have a certain amount of daily energy for making decisions and exerting willpower. If we waste it on trying to make small choices, we won’t have enough leftover energy for the big decisions and issues in life. A good approach is to automate and pre-select certain things in your life. For example, choose beforehand what you’re going to eat or wear for the week ahead. If you have your own business, establish a consistent pattern of where you will work (home, office, coffeeshop, etc.), and at what time you will work, so you don’t have to think about it. In this way, you conserve your brainpower and have leftover cognitive capacity to decide on the important matters of the day.

 

*Recognize that Fear is Not Just the Problem, It’s the Solution: Instead of running from your fears, expose yourself to the fears. You will see that most of your fears are not realistic (they don’t have a high probability of occurring). If you’re shy about meeting people, expose yourself to more social situations in which you break the ice with others. If you’re hesitant about starting a new career, job, or business opportunity, expose yourself to the financial or business world; learn as much as you can; make friends with people who are already succeeding in the field. The more you expose yourself to what you fear, the less fear you will have.

 

It is possible to live confidently and joyfully, no matter how much you have suffered in the past, regardless of how many failures you have endured. You can change your self-talk and develop a more positive mindset by following some of the scientific principles we’ve been discussing. The aim is to get out of your own way and tap into the inner power and love you already possess.

 

 

HOW TO BE A GREAT WRITER, AND AN EVEN BETTER PERSON, WITH USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR, REBECCA FORSTER (THE WITNESS SERIES)

On Love University, I was pleased to visit with a marvelous human being, Rebecca Forster, NY times bestselling crime author and humanitarian. Rebecca has written over 30 books, has touched many people through her philanthropic work, and has a thriving 40 + year marriage and personal life. Here are some of the valuable tips we learned from Rebecca on writing and life:

On How to Be A Great Writer:

*Find the joy in writing: Don’t just do it for money or acclaim. Find the story (or idea) that is burning inside you—that needs to get out. Root for the characters in your book—even the bad ones (make them as bad as they can possibly be). Have fun and you will create good work.

*Take baby steps: When Rebecca was just starting out, she had her toddler next to her and she would put a page in the baby’s typewriter as she put one in her’s and started writing. No matter what your situation (parent, full-time worker, student) currently is, you can make time to write. Start by writing a certain number of words per day, and soon your passion will build and you will eventually write a book you can be proud of.

*Educate Yourself: With today’s self-publishing and marketing opportunities, you can create your own cottage writing industry. Learn everything you can about writing, publishing, and marketing. Attend writer’s groups and conferences; read e-books, learn from videos about the craft and business of writing.

On How to Have a Great Relationship:

Rebecca has been married for over 40 years to a judge who helps her with background research on her thrillers. Here are some of the secrets to a healthy and happy marriage:

*Find the humor in each other: If you find each other humorous, that’s a great plus because humor can serve as a buffer against stress and conflicts. Share jokes and stories with each other; watch funny videos, shows, or comics—strive to have several times of laughter with your mate each day.

*Be curious together: Strive to learn new things together; attend classes, go on trips, vacations, and adventures. Always keep learning about each other; spend time in different situations, environments, and people. The couple that learns together, grows together.

*Realize that your differences can be strengths: Although compatibility (similarity in important values) can be important in relationships, sometimes complementary traits—opposite styles that mesh—can also work. For example, your partner is an Introvert (energy within), and you’re an Extravert (energy from social interactions), you can make it work if you respect each other’s style. The Extravert can get the Introvert out of the house and socializing, and the Introvert can calm and relax the Extravert.

*Be each other’s cheerleader and number one fan: When you are proud of your spouse or partner, and their successes (and they feel the same way about you), the relationship is stronger and smoother. Don’t let envy creep into your relationship. Every day strive to express your appreciation and admiration for your mate and what they do to keep your marriage and family strong.

On How to Be A Great Person

*Be open to experience: When Rebecca was sick in a hospital, she noticed some things that needed improvement. She told the hospital, and as a result, she was invited to be a patient advisor. This opened her up to new insights and helped her become a more compassionate person as she improved the lives of patients. In the same way, find ways to say “Yes” to people who need your help. Be open to making new connections, associations, and friendships. The more open you are, the more life will bring favorable circumstances into your life.

*Never say you don’t have the time or opportunity: When Rebecca first started writing, she was working a full-time corporate job and had a baby, but she didn’t let circumstances stop her. Initially, writing late at night, she resolved to write a certain number of pages each day before she stopped. When you have discipline and work toward a goal you desire, almost nothing can stop you—as long as you have the passion to truly express yourself.

*Give love without expectation: Volunteer at non-profit organizations, hospitals, charities, or churches. Help those who are less fortunate than you—listen empathetically to friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and even strangers. The key is to help others without expectation—without expecting that they will appreciate, praise, or even like you. You do it because love is an essence within you that is clamoring to get out. It has a self-renewable quality—the more you express it, the more of it you get back.

Yes, you can become a great writer (or excel in any other creative venture you desire), as well as becoming an excellent person. All it takes is drive, persistence, and the help of loving people around you. When you create and help others, you will discover your true inner beauty, calmness, and peace, and you can share it with the world.

EVERYDAY CELEBRITY: HOW TO BE A STAR IN YOUR OWN LIFE, WITH SPECIAL GUEST: JESS PONCE, CELEBRITY IMAGE MAKER

Would you like to be a celebrity in your own life, with star power and confidence to influence others, present your best image, and achieve your ideal career and relationships? To be an everyday celebrity means that you will harness your inner talents and charisma to express your best self and connect with others in a significant and impactful way.

Start by following these tips from my friend and special guest on Love University, Jess Ponce, Hollywood Branding Coach extraordinaire:

*Be Clear:   When you show up somewhere—whether it’s a business meeting, social interaction, or presentation, make sure you know why you are there and what your goals are. Do you want to make a sale, get a date, or effectively communicate your points in a speech or talk? Whatever your goal is, make sure you express your best and most authentic self while achieving it.

*Be Confident: To be confident you need two things: 1. Belief in your subject matter (be an expert) and 2. Understand the value to your audience (the person or people you are talking to). If you’re making a sales presentation, understand the benefits that you are providing your customer and why you are the best person to deliver them.

*Be Charismatic/Develop You CQ (Celebrity Quotient): All of us, even shy or Introverted people, have charm or charisma—sometimes hidden deep down. Your CQ, or Celebrity Quotient, is made up of the 3 things that shine the most from your essence—your three most unique and attractive qualities.

Ask yourself: How did I feel in my perfect scenario when I impressed an attractive person, made a breakthrough in my job or career, or expressed an ability (performing, creating, teaching, helping)? What talents or attributes did I exude? Perhaps, when you got a date with the person you really liked, you were smart, helpful, and honest. Or, when you made a great presentation, you were open, funny, and touching. Write down your three traits that make up your CQ.

Whatever your three strongest psychological or personality qualities are, strive to develop and use them as much as possible. If you’re entertaining and funny, get involved in entertainment or pop culture activities. If you’re an empathetic and sensitive person, strive to help others in nonprofit, religious, or charitable ventures—help strangers and people you come across on a daily basis.

Every day, strive to apply the talents that make up your CQ to break the ice, make new connections, communicate ideas and options, and help others feel better. The more you use your talents, the higher your CQ will be, and the more positive people and situations you will attract into your life.

Yes, you can be a celebrity in your everyday life—a person of value and importance who can make good things happen in your relationships, career, social life, and personal happiness and self-esteem. Decide today that you will shine your inner essence outwardly to others—connecting with them and bringing as much love, peace, and goodwill as you possibly can, every day that you are here on this marvelous earth.

IS THE INTERNET KILLING YOU OR MAKING YOU STRONGER?: SPECIAL GUEST: DR. JULIE ALBRIGHT, EXPERT ON DIGITAL CULTURE

                              Me and my Little Screen

                            “Created by My Little Bot”

               I used to have to go to bookstores and video stores, I don’t anymore.

               I used to have to go get groceries, I don’t anymore.

               I used to have to call a taxi, I don’t anymore.

               I used to have to buy a house, I don’t anymore.

               I used to have to go to singles bars, I don’t anymore.

   I used to go to restaurants by myself, and they called me a loser; they don’t anymore.

   Now, it’s always me and my little screen, what do I need anything else for?

Do you love digital media and technology, or is it driving you crazy? Maybe, the answer is both. As we love the freedom, opportunities, and convenience it brings us, we may dislike the distancing of true connections, the obsession with triviality that robs our valuable time and energy, and the lack of focus that is lost in constant distractions.

Although there is much to like about technology, smart phones, and the internet, let’s look at some areas of caution (and opportunity) we need to be aware of:

*We Live in an Untethered Society: With digital hyperconnectivity (we’re connected with the world, 24-7), it’s possible to live remotely in one place and make money or have relationships in another (even a faraway place). This can be a great advantage, but it also means that we may not put down roots—in a community, a relationship, a life. We may become “Digital Nomads,” wandering the world (in a virtual reality sense)—forever looking for the perfect relationship, career, or lifestyle, but not able to settle on one.

*We Become Impatient: If an Uber takes too long to come, we may call for a Lyft. If a prospective dating partner doesn’t return our text in 10 minutes, we move on to the next by swiping on our phones. If we don’t like our job, we click onto a site to find another. Although having options can be liberating, too many options can confuse us and make us impatient. We forget what it’s like to work for things, commit to people and situations, to develop discipline and work hard for the things that really matter.

*We Can Become Addicted and Lonely: Studies show that being on social media can give us the same brain chemical rush as playing the slot machines. You keep clicking and checking for that payoff or jackpot: a “Like” or a favorable message that will bring you good news. The same happens when you view pleasurable or exciting video content; you keep watching and watching to get that brain rush, but you may neglect more important tasks like your personal care, your family and relationships, your work and career. When people lose their phones, they may even suffer from depression, similar to the withdrawal symptoms of a drug addict—suffering as if they have lost their very lives. Also, living a perpetual digital life (constantly on a screen or tablet) can create a disconnected and lonely feeling—the primary interaction is with a screen and not with real, live human beings, face-to-face.

*You’re on 24-7. In the days before the internet and cell phones, people had to call you (and you had to answer the phone) or come over to your house to interact with you. In between, you had moments of rest and relaxation. You could read a book, listen to music, watch the birds, play with animals and children, or just have a plain old-fashioned conversation with family, friends, or neighbors. Today, with constant texting, messages, phone calls, and emails, it seems like there’s not enough time to do anything, much less have real, one-on-one, face-to-face conversations.

Although the digital world can pose pitfalls and dangers, there is a lot to love about it too: the freedom to live and work anywhere (remotely), connect with friends and relatives all over the world, communicate injustice to the world, organize data better, and live a more convenient life (products, services, food, books, and movies on demand). In the future, we need to integrate the good and the bad, and come up with a technology solution that allows us integrate technology into our lives while still enabling us to be fully human: loving, peaceful, and capable of living a meaning-driven life.

CONQUER YOUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE: SPECIAL GUEST DR. LISA FIRESTONE, PIONEER OF VOICE THERAPY

Do you have critical voices in your head? Thoughts that tell you that you’re not good enough, worthy enough, attractive enough, lovable enough or smart enough to succeed in life? Welcome to the Inner Critical World. Many of us have adopted these voices from parents or other people from our past, and these critical inner voices keep us from fulfilling our full potential.

Now, there’s a way to take charge over your negative thoughts and live a life of freedom and triumph, through the use of Voice Therapy, as pioneered by esteemed psychologist Lisa Firestone and her distinguished father, psychologist Robert Firestone.

Here are some tips:

1. Identify the Voice: In a journal or tablet give it a name, maybe the critical inner voice a name, perhaps, “Loveless Lucy (you’ll never find love),” or “Broke Bob (you will never make money),” and even draw a figure representing it. Recognize that this critical voice may be temporarily in your head, but it is not you.
2. Talk Back to the Voice: Tell the voice to “Get out.”   Say to it, “I am lovable and will find love.” “I can be rich in both material and spiritual ways.” The more you talk back to the critical voices in a firm, yet strong way, the more you can diminish their influence in your mind.
3. Realize the Myth of the Friendly Critical Voice: At first when you start to separate yourself from the negative thoughts, part of your mind will feel uncomfortable and even lonely. After all, these self-defeating thoughts have been with you for many years; you may even weirdly see them as friends. But they are not friends or friendly; they only want your demise. Tell yourself that these thoughts are your enemies, and that you will banish them from your mind forever.
4. Find Your Personal Meaning: One of the best ways to banish critical inner voices is to find a personal passion or mission that drives you. Maybe, you want to help animals, children, or the homeless. Perhaps, you want to write a book, start a business, develop a new technological advance. Or, you simply want to be a great parent, spouse, or friend. Whatever your personal meaning is, focus on that, and you will find your mind growing stronger with life-affirming, positive, and loving thoughts.
5. Extend Loving Energy Without Expectation: One of the greatest antidotes to fear and sadness is to extend loving energy without expectation. Be kind to others—smile, compliment them, help them in practical matters. Be a good listener, donate, give advice if asked. When you love others without expecting anything in return, you liberate yourself from the fear of being rejected or criticized. Love simply flows from you outwardly and returns to you in the same way.

There is good news: You can master your critical inner voices and live free of their influence. Take control of your mind, and the rest of your life will be cheery, joyful, and loving. Your effort will create effortlessness as you live the life you were meant to live.

FROM GANGS TO GLORY: THE LOVE TRANSFORMATION INTERVIEW WITH FATHER GREGORY BOYLE, FOUNDER OF HOMEBOY INDUSTRIES

It was my privilege to have on Love University Podcast the esteemed Father Gregory Boyle, a Jesuit priest and founder of Homeboy Industries. Father Boyle has dedicated his life to providing former gang members with the opportunity to transform their lives and give back to the community. Here are some of the profound nuggets of wisdom he offered Love University Listeners:

*We Need to Create a Community of Tenderness: This is the highest form of spiritual maturity. When we are tender and kind—even to those who are hurtful—we elevate love from an idea stuck in our heads to a “connective tissue”—a part of our everyday DNA. When do this, we no longer separate the world into “us and “them”—we enter a zone of Exquisite Mutuality, where we inhabit our own nobility and goodness, and encourage others to do the same. Now we see others as part of us, and us as part of them. We are one, and that one is only love.

*Higher Love Can Dismantle the Messages of Shame and Disgrace. When we do something wrong or self-harming such as addictions, bad habits, or self-destructive behaviors, we feel shame and disgrace. That shame and disgrace further weakens us and makes us want to repeat the same negative behavior because we don’t think we can do any better (or deserve any better). Higher Love (from God or nature) is what forgives our mistakes and allows us to forgive ourselves with self-compassion. The more self-compassionate we are, the less likely we are to repeat the same self-defeating actions.

*Catch People (and Yourself) Doing the Right Thing: Often, we are quick to judge and condemn others (and ourselves) for making a mistake. Although we can learn from mistakes, it is often far better to catch people and ourselves doing the right thing. Praise others and yourself when acting rightly (speaking up against injustice; expressing honesty; saying “No” to a bully). The bottom line: We all want to be loved and appreciated. When we reinforce the good in others (and ourselves), we find the noble divinity within, and this goodness grows and blossoms.

 

*Narrow Your Focus on Love: It is said that narrow is the road that leads to “life” (peace and love). However, instead of focusing on the narrow (how hard it is to be a highly spiritual person), we need to narrow the focus: Concentrate on loving “being loving.” Many people impatiently wait on outcomes and success, and they become frustrated and disappointed when they don’t get that financial goal (or win that person’s heart). Instead, our focus needs to be on being loving—extending loving energy without expectation. That by itself is enough to bring us peace and joy and attract all the good things we truly need.

It’s true: Higher Love can turn woundedness into health, deformity into beauty, and embarrassment into laugher. In the end, this love can help us belong to each other on the Earth and create a spiritual kinship with our fellow human travelers in life—elevating us and leaving the world a little better than when we entered it.

HOW TO UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVE GENIUS AND CREATE YOUR DESTINY

Are you are creative person? If you are, or want to be, there are some tips you can apply to enhance your creative nature. Creativity means putting together new connections and seeing things differently, and in a better way. Creative people tend to be happier, live longer, have better relationships, experience an expanded sense of time, and enjoy a sense of personal freedom.

Try these techniques to strengthen your creativity muscles:

*Decide that You Can Be Creative:  If you have the desire for creativity, you can nurture it and become more creative. Creativity can be simple.  You don’t have to be an artistic or scientific genius. You can develop everyday creativity in the way you cook, organize things, solve business problems, interact with people, teach a child.

*Change Your Routines:  Go to work in a different route, try a new restaurant, talk to people you don’t know. When you change up your typical behavioral patterns, you rewire your brain to think differently and come up with more creative solutions.

*Move Your Inspiration:  Many people say they will wait for inspiration to move them—to write a book, come up with an invention, or start a new business. The reality is that if you wait for inspiration to “move you,” you may be waiting for a long time. The key is to “move your inspiration” through work and discipline. Set aside a certain amount of time each day—a few minutes or several hours—when you can do your most creative work. If you practice creativity daily, you will find a rhythm and flow to your activities, and creative inspiration will come to you naturally.

*Get a Creativity Buddy:  Find a person (or people) who also want to develop their creativity. Throw ideas off each other. One good way to be creative is to Brainwrite: You write an idea down, and then go around the room, with each person writing an idea to add to it. Pretty soon, you have an outpouring of creative ideas.

*Combine Ideas:  Read and listen to material in fields you are not normally familiar with.  If your area is science, try reading fiction; if you’re a history buff, take a look at science.  When you expand your knowledge in other areas, you’re able to come up with fresh perspectives that can stimulate your creativity in your chosen field.

*Maintain Positivity:  Research shows that negative feelings such as sadness diminish creativity, while feeling comfortable and positive enhances creativity. Increase your gratitude by maintaining a Gratitude Journal (write down 3 things you’re grateful for every day). Look at the positives in your life to enhance optimism, give loving energy to others (smile, compliment, give assistance) without expectation, so you can increase your sense of compassion and love.

When you do these things, you will begin to raise your creativity level. You can solve problems better, be a better friend, colleague, family member, and love partner, and you will feel healthier and happier in the process. Whether your creativity manifested in a big discovery to change the world, or simple creative acts that help others and make your environment a little better, you will enjoy the fruits of creativity and feel like a contributing and loving person on this Earth.

 

                                                

YOUR SUPERCHARGED SELF-ESTEEM: FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

 YOUR SUPERCHARGED SELF-ESTEEM: FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

By Dr. Alex Avila

Does life have you feeling down? Would you like to have more self-confidence, inner power, and success? Now, there’s a way to have “Supercharged Self-Esteem,” an ever-growing sense of self-mastery and belief in yourself, that is realistic, yet humble; powerful, yet compassionate.

 

Here are some ways to have “Supercharged Self-Esteem.”

 

*Develop Self-Compassion:  When you make a mistake, forgive yourself. Ask yourself: “What if my child or loved one did the same mistake? Would I be gentle or harsh with them?” Be as gentle and forgiving with yourself as you are with those you love.

*Take a 5 Minute Daily Appreciation Break: In the evening, think about and write down the things you like about yourself. Maybe, you have a good sense of humor, you are kind and compassionate, you are good with your hands. Realize how much you have to offer the world with your talents and abilities, and you will feel like a strong contributor of value.

*Compare Yourself to Yourself:  Instead of comparing yourself to those who are doing better (causing you to feel envious or inferior), only compare yourself to the “old” you. Note how much you have improved or grown from your previous self, and how you are better today than yesterday.

*Visualize Your Future Success:  If you’re not better today than 5 years ago, then try this: Visualize your future success, doing what you love to do and being surrounded by the people you love. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your brightest future—feel the success and joy, deep in your heart.

*Give Loving Energy Without Expectation: This is one of the greatest secrets of healthy self-esteem. Smile at other people, pay them a compliment, help them with money, time, or practical help. When you put positive energy out there, you will often reap benefits in the form of knowledge, contacts, material and practical windfalls, and spiritual feelings of joy and gratitude.

It’s true: you can raise your self-esteem and love yourself. It is only when we love ourselves, that we can truly begin to love and help others.  A hot teapot can only pour hot tea. If you have love and compassion inside, you can pour that onto those you come into contact with.

 

For more on how to “Supercharge Your Self-Esteem” listen to Love University podcast on (put link) .

LAUGH YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS: USING HUMOR TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE:

 

Is life getting you down? Too many worries, too many bills, too many problems.

If so, then it’s time to Laugh Your Way to Success. New proven methods of humor and laughter generation can transform your life and improve your relationships, finances, career, health, and happiness. 79% of CEOs believe humor is an important trait for employees to have. 69% of Internet daters believe humor is an important factor in mate selection. People with a good sense of humor tend to live longer and healthier, have better relationships, and enjoy more career and financial success.

Let’s get to it. Here are some laughter psychological techniques to improve your life:

 

*Study the Funny:  You can develop yourself into a funny and humorous person. Study your favorite sitcoms, comedy movies, and stand-up comics. Ask yourself: Why do you laugh? Do you like slapstick, wordplay, sarcasm, general silliness? Incorporate your preferred humor style into your daily interactions with people.

*Find a Humor Buddy: Find someone who resonates with your sense of humor, and play off each other. Tell each other jokes and stories. Form or join a humor group, where you get together with like-minded people to share funny jokes and stories and brainstorm humorous situations for fun and profit.

*Laugh Just for the Fun of It:  Research shows that laughter (even if you don’t find something funny) releases pleasure brain chemicals that make you feel good. Laugh in the company of an appreciative friend, child, or animal.  Laughter is contagious. Enjoy it.

*Get Your Fools Out:  Some of us are shy or self-conscious—fearing that we’ll look like a fool in public. Try the paradoxical technique of acting foolish and silly in private. Get in front of a mirror and “act the fool”” Go ahead and laugh, jump up and down, and make funny and silly faces by yourself. When you do this in private, you will find yourself being more confident, outrageous, and funny in public.

*Keep a Funny File:  On your smartphone, iPad, or notepad, write down humorous observations, stories, and jokes. The funniest things usually come from your personal experiences—often painful and difficult—that you can laugh about as time passes. 

Here’s some humor: Why did the chicken cross the road?  To get away from bad jokes like this (it was funny when I wrote it).

The message is simple:  Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you.  With practice of your funny bone, soon you’ll be laughing your way to success, healing, hope and happiness.

FROM HOMELESS TO HAPPY: OLD MAN SAXON: YOUTUBE RAPPER SENSATION ON HIS STORY OF TRIUMPH FROM HOMELESSNESS

At the LA Times Book Festival this year, I had a marvelous time meeting a remarkable young man (now 30-years-old), Old Man Saxon, who raps about homelessness and other social issues. On Love University, he told us his personal inspirational story.

 

As a lonely and homeless young man living in his car in Los Angeles, Old Man Saxon found the positives in his situation, and even garnered humor from his experiences.  He recounts an attractive young lady he met while he was homeless—he later learned she was homeless too—and they ended up having a good connection without spending any money on going out.

 

His advice: “If you’re not happy being alone, you’re in the wrong company.” He says people are lonely when they don’t have their “inner home”—the part of their mind that is content within itself.

 

Although homelessness can be dangerous, difficult, and heart-wrenching, Old Man Saxon found a certain liberating feeling in doing what he wanted to do on his own, without worrying about the usual societal expectations.  He sees his homeless experience as a rite of passage for himself; growing from boy to man. He admits that he had certain advantages (he had a car), but he did face difficulties (he was robbed of clothes and cash while sleeping). Through his personal story and raps, Old Man Saxon, has inspired others who come to homelessness from abusive relationships, mental illness, and other unfortunate circumstances.  He says that no matter how bad off he was, he always said to himself: “This homeless state will end. I will grow stronger from my experiences.”

 

His message: Don’t let the stigma of homelessness diminish your self-image and self-value.  We are all God’s children, and sometimes circumstances conspire against us.  Yet, despite all this, we can remain strong and confident in the belief that we are a person of value, love, and contribution.  Find your inner mental home of security and love, and you can live everywhere and still be happy.

 

HOW TO ATTRACT LUCK AND GOOD FORTUNE INTO YOUR LIFE

SETTLE FREE DATING: HOW TO DATE LIKE A QUEEN AND FIND YOUR KING: SPECIAL GUEST "TINZLEY BRADFORD," THE NO-NONSENSE LOVE EXPERT

“You are more than pretty feet,” says Love Expert Tinzley Bradford.  Working with women who truly want love, Tinzley says women need to stop settling for less than they want, and by doing so, they will receive the love and respect from men that fosters great relationships.

Here is some no-nonsense advice to women who are seeking long-term, fulfilling relationships:

1.    Be skeptical with guys you just meet who are dating other women and just “want to be friends.” They may have an ulterior motive, i.e. sex and convenience.  Look for men who truly want to commit.

2.   Treat yourself with care and approval.  If you don’t love you, it will be hard for someone else to love you.

3.   Focus on your blessings instead of your shortcomings.  Stop putting yourself down and be grateful for the good things in your life (family, friends, career, talents, faith).

4.   Look for the love of the friendship before you look for the love of the relationship. Friends first, lovers forever is a great motto to follow. The spiritual depth of your friendship with a man is what will determine the success of your long-term relationship with him.  

5.   Be open to “being single for the rest of your life.” It doesn’t have to happen that way, but by being your best self—without needing a man—you free yourself to be the most beautiful and attractive woman you can be.  By being your truest self first, you will then attract the ideal man for you.

A lack of self-esteem is at the core of women (and men) who settle for less in life.  It is said that life gives you what you ask of it.  If you ask for the most and best possible, you will receive it—if you put in the work and keep your priorities straight—on the higher picture of life (i.e. God, family, love, and helping others).  Once you reclaim your Queenhood, in the emotional and spiritual sense, you will naturally resonate and harmonize with the Kingly man in your life—a man of integrity, courage, love, and compassion.

HOW TO CATCH A LIAR: SPECIAL GUEST DISTINGUISHED EMOTION PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. PAUL EKMAN, THE WORLD'S NUMBER ONE LYING EXPERT

 

 

Would you like to catch a liar? When big things are at stake—money, freedom, reputation, love—it may be easy to spot a liar if you know what to look for.

 

Here are the signs:

 

*Watch the Micro-Expressions: These are very quick facial and body expressions that last ½ second or less. Liars can’t control them so you can determine if they’re lying.

 

*Develop a Baseline: Observe the person when they’re not lying, and determine the types of facial and body expressions they usually use (wrinkling nose, blinking, etc.).

 

*Look for Inconsistencies:  Now, when they are asked about an important personal issue, see if they express new micro-expressions that they didn’t show before—such as wrinkling their forehead, quick micro-shrugs of shoulder, lower voice (softer and softer), speech hesitation, and excessive swallowing.

 

*See the Big Picture:  Other signs of lying include the liar thinking too much about their answer when they don’t need to (response should be automatic), or if they have emotions that don’t fit what they’re saying (smiling when talking about something sad).

 

*Consider the Shy or Insecure Person:  Also, determine if the person is somewhat shy or insecure. Some of their micro-expressions (swallowing too much) could be due to their shyness, and not due to lying. The key is to determine if they use those micro-expressions consistently in the course of normal conversation.

 

Truth-telling is one of the essential elements of deep and meaningful relationships and everyday human transactions.  Although there is such a thing as a compassionate lie (telling someone who is terminally ill that they can recover), lies can do significant damage to relationships and trust. By telling the truth, we can develop trust and authenticity, as well as the most important ingredient in successful relationships: Loving energy.

WOMEN ON THE FENCE: HOW TO GET OFF YOUR "BUTS" AND ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS: SPECIAL GUEST: WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT EXPERT ERICA DIAMOND

HOW TO FALL (AND STAY) IN LOVE THE RIGHT WAY

 

Isn’t it an amazing feeling, falling in love? The sky seems bluer, the birds sing prettier, everything seems wonderful. Yet, we know that the brain rush of the chemicals of love has a limited time span, typically 6 months to 3 years. Once the initial euphoria fades away, how can you keep your love alive?

Here are some tips for falling (and staying) in love the right way.

*Enjoy the brain chemical rush, but don’t get caught up in it. Realize that the brain chemicals (dopamine, norepinephrine, etc.) that you first experience will make you feel “high” and giddy, but you also want to practice self-care. Don’t neglect your job or other responsibilities. Make sure you eat well and exercise; keep your body and mind strong.

*Take Your Time: Part of the chemical reaction of falling in love could be a fear (anxiety) of losing your partner. Thus, you may have a desire to “seal the deal”—commit too soon. Combat the uneasy sensation (anxiety) by spend a lot of time with your lover to see if you’re really compatible—through thick and thin—before you sign on the dotted line and commit to a long-term relationship.  

*Keep the Love Alive With Romantic Gestures:  Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that is released when you cuddle, touch, and make love. Spend time expressing physical affection and romantic tenderness to your partner or spouse. Keep doing it even after the honeymoon stage goes away, and you will have a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.

*Practice Cinematherapy:  Here’s a new approach to get closer to your mate. In a month’s time, watch up to 5 relationship movies, and then talk about the relationships—how they differ or are similar to your’s. This is an excellent way to achieve perspective and even a sense of humor about your own relationship conflicts.

*Turn Toward Your Partner, Not Away:  Research shows that happily married couple turn toward each other (show genuine interest and attention) 87% of the time, while couples likely to divorce turn toward each other only 37% of the time. For example, when your honey talks about their interest in art, listen to and respond to them. If you want to watch TV, or stay on your phone instead, it could hurt their feelings, and end up damaging your relationship.

*Revere Your Differences:  Few couples, if any, are exactly alike. One may be more spontaneous, the other more structured. One may be more Introvert (seeking energy within), and the other more Extravert (seeking energy from other people). In the beginning of the relationship,  your partner can do no wrong. Later, once the brain chemicals wear off, you may start criticizing each other—based on personality differences. The key to a happy and harmonious long-term relationship is to embrace and accept each other’s differences, and realize how two people can complement each other (The Introvert relaxes the Extravert; the Extravert beings the Introvert out of their shell).

*Look at the Big Love Picture: Amidst petty squabbles and worries about kids, sex, family, and finances, couples often forget why they came together in the first place. The solution is to strive to remember what you loved (and still love) about your romantic partner.  Gain perspective on minor annoyances and disagreements by focusing on the big picture of why you’re together: To create light in the world—a positive alliance that will contribute to your lives and the lives of others.

There you have it—ways to fall (and stay in love) the right way. Instead of rushing into an infatuation, or throwing in the towel when things get tough, you can invest in a growing and beautiful relationship that will yield many dividends: better emotional and physical health, longer life, more career and financial success, and above all, a greater sense of peace, love, and contribution.

HOW TO BE A FULL POTENTIAL PERSON: ACHIEVE YOUR MAXIMUM DREAMS

How to Be A Full Potential Person: Achieve Your Maximum Dreams

Would you to achieve your maximum potential and achieve your dreams? Now, you can by following these steps:

*Be Aware of Your Choices: Realize when your actions are moving you toward your goals or away from them. Listen to your intuition and decide to follow those instincts that will help you have a better life.

*Embrace the Unknown: You never know when a great opportunity will come to you.  Maybe you talk to someone standing in line, and they give you valuable advice or a contact—perhaps, they can even become your best friend or life partner.

*Maintain Your One-Point Focus: Simplify your life and focus on the one thing that’s most important to you, whether it’s a career goal, learning something, spending more time with your family, or improving your health.

*Use the Power of Momentum:  Once you’re on a roll—you start experiencing small successes and accomplishments—keep it going.  If you work out 15 minutes a day, then increase it to 20, then 30—as you feel better and stronger, you will be more motivated to do more.

 

*Meditate on Eternity: The truth is that you have a slice of eternity to do everything you want to do in your life. You will die one day, and other people will have their place in the sun. In the meantime, be grateful for every moment you have, and strive to be the best you can possibly be.

You can be a Full Potential Person who maximizes your talents and gifts to enhance yourself and for the good of others. Keep working on yourself, and you will have the most wonderful gift of all to give: Love.   

 

HOW TO BE A MASTERFUL CONNECTOR: SPECIAL GUEST MICHELLE LEDERMAN: ENLARGE YOUR NETWORK AND FASTTRACK YOUR RESULTS

Are you a connector—someone who knows how to connect with people and get real results?  In today’s fast-paced, technology-based society, being a Connector is more important than ever. With technology accelerating the pace of life, it’s important to become a Connector and bring people together to accomplish common goals and missions. You can obtain wonderful results in life if you become a Connector. Here are the 7 traits you need to develop the people skills you need to thrive in today’s world:  

*Be Open And Authentic:  People like those who are true to themselves and open about what they want. If you lack self-confidence, catch yourself in confident moments (write them down).  Visualize your success in dealing with people in a positive and rewarding way.

*Have a Clear Vision: Be clear about your goal and be willing to ask for what you want. When you ask, make it easy for the other person to say “Yes.” You might start with a “Convenient Ask” (I can come to your office). Or start with a “Big Ask” and then lower it to something the other person is comfortable giving you.

*Believe in Abundance: Visualize that there is an abundance of resources in the world: time, money, friendships, opportunities, and you will have more motivation and persistence to succeed.

*Trust:  Trust yourself and others. Yes, there are some who may try to take advantage of your good faith, but in the long run, your trust will be rewarded by people who reciprocate your good intentions (you will also learn how to weed out the bad apples).

*Curiosity: Have a desire to get to know people and find out about them—ask them about their hobbies, passions, goals, and dreams. You will find it easy to start a conversation when you focus on what people are interested in.

*Follow-through:  Do what you say, and say what you’re going to do.  Also keep commitments you make to yourself—whether it relates to health (diet, exercise), starting a new venture, or quitting a bad habit.  Learn to be meticulous with your word, and keep to what you say to others and yourself.

*Be Generous:  Generosity is one of the great gifts of the Connector. Be the person who connects people to each other (whether in business, friendship, or love). The more people you help with advice, connections, and friendship, the more likely you are to receive the same consideration back to you.

As you develop these traits of a Connector, you will find that more people will want to help you. You will start to create a dream team of people who can be your “emotional cheerleaders,” advisors, mentors, and colleagues. You will open yourself up to a world of fun, opportunity, and friendship when you become a true Connector.

MASTER THE ART OF SPONTANEITY: LIVE FREE AND EASY

ACTIVATE YOUR MIND OF A CHAMPION: LIVE WITH FULL COMMITMENT AND CONTENTMENT

ACTIVATE YOUR MIND OF A CHAMPION:  LIVE WITH FULL COMMITMENT AND CONTENTMENT

      By Dr. Alex Avila

 

 

Would you like to be a champion in life and achieve your dreams? New findings in psychology can help you accomplish your goals and realize your full potential. Here are some things you can do to live like a champion—someone who wins at life and excel in your personal happiness.

     *Follow Your Clear Personal Vision Daily: To be a psychological champion, you need to find a strong focus, a purpose that gives you meaning.  Perhaps, you want to teach, entertain, create, invent, grow a business, or take care of others, including your family. Whatever drives you in life should be at the forefront of your daily activities. Keep a journal in which you write down the things you do each day and how each of those things brings you closer (or don’t) to the one focus or driving purpose (mission) in your life.  

    *Tap into Your Multiple IQs: Each person has different types of intelligence they can draw from. You can draw from your analytical intelligence when you want to solve a problem, your emotional intelligence when you are dealing with emotions and relationships, and your spiritual (or LoveQ) intelligence when you are answering higher questions such as the meaning in life.  Being aware of your different intelligences and developing them is an important part of becoming a mental champion.

 *Develop A Growth Mindset: If you have a growth mindset, you are always seeking to learn and grow. If you have a fixed mindset,  you set limits on yourself and what you can accomplish—you focus more on the prize (money, accolades) than the learning experience. People who value wisdom over external gains often acquire both because they place the most important (inner development) thing first.

*Instill If-Then Statements into Your Mind: Mental Champions use If-Then Statements when things get tough. When they face challenges, they provide themselves with a mental solution. They say to themselves things like: “If I doubt my abilities, I will think of my skills and successes.”  These internal statements become triggers for them to get back on track when their resilience is running low.

*Associate with Like-Minded Champions:  The people who surround you often affect you psychologically—for good or bad.  Associate with people who are positive, kind-hearted, and who have a driving mission in life, and you will build a mastermind team to help each other achieve your goals in life.  Grow together with like-minded champions mental champions, and you will have great people beside you to spur you forward to greatness.

*Consider Each Non-Success as a Stepping Stone to Greatness:  Instead of calling something that didn’t work out, “A failure,” call it a “Non-Success.” You haven’t succeeded yet—at finding a soul mate, having the business or career your desire, enjoying the lifestyle you want—but you are on the right track if you learn from each Non-Success. Instead of feeling weak or deprived, consider each “No,” from life as one more step to hearing the beautiful word called “Yes. “

*Remember that Eternity is a Long Time:  We often take our life for granted, thinking we will live forever. We don’t.  Knowing that life is finite is one of the most powerful and beautiful pieces of knowledge you can have because it gives you the motivation to live your life to the fullest.  Go for that unbelievable goal, that “unrealistic dream.”  It is only unrealistic until you obtain it—then it becomes a tremendous feeling of satisfaction and contentment.

You can become a Mental Champion. Begin today by following the steps just described, and decide that you will leave behind a legacy of goodness, love, and contribution.  For more on how to have the Mind of a Champion, listen to our podcast: ACTIVATE YOUR MIND OF A CHAMPION (link):

NEW INVINCIBLE YOU SERIES: 7% CLUB OF THE LIVING: LIVE TODAY LIKE IT'S YOUR LAST DAY

THE GENIUS OF SLOW: HOW TO SLOW DOWN AND LIVE WITH PURE PLEASURE: WITH SPECIAL GUEST CARL HONORé, WORLDWIDE LEADER OF "SLOW MOVEMENT"

Are you rushing through life and trying to cram too many things in your day? Is your cell phone dominating your every moment? 

If so, you can benefit from our latest podcast: "Genius of Slow,” featuring Carl Honoré, leader of the worldwide "Slow Movement."  The Slow Movement was started in Italy to help people worldwide slow down their lives (eating, talking, doing), so they can live relaxed and stress-free lives in our busy, technology-rushed world.  

Here are some “Slow Down” Techniques you can try to help you live easy:

*Master the Power of “NO”:  Many successful people say “no” to most things because they prioritize and focus on what really matters in their lives: spending time with their loved ones and making a positive contribution to the world.  By saying “no” to what you don’t want (meaningless involvements), you can say “yes” to what you truly want to do.

*Unplug from Technology: Technology dominates our lives. One smart strategy is to have times when you disconnect from your technological devices. A new trend is called “stacking.” When friends get together for a meal, they put their cell phones in a stack. The first one who grabs for their cell phone has to pay for the meal. Make it a fun game to see how long you can go without checking your technological devices. You will feel lighter and more relaxed.

*Develop a Slow Ritual: Find something you can do slowly that relaxes you, perhaps, drinking tea, or doing yoga, gardening, cooking, poetry, or sketching. Doing this activity 10 minutes (or more) in the morning and/or evening can help you unwind and switch your gears from the mindset of hurry and rush to one of calmness and serenity.  

*Be Aware of Your Body: As you do activities, whether it’s showering, eating, or walking, be aware of your movements. Observe the food as it enters your mouth, feel the sensations of the warm water and soap on your skin, see yourself walking under a doorway. This type of awareness will help you realize just how rushed and tense you often are, and can help you slow down to find small daily pockets of peace and relaxation.

There you are. Now you can slow down and savor life.  Truly relish every moment you have while you are here on this Earth. When you slow down, paradoxically, you will get things done quicker because you are more focused, efficient, and relaxed. Your undistracted and peaceful mind can do wonders.

COURAGE: THE POWER TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

  

For some people the word "Courage" is the stuff of legends. Astounding physical feats of bravery (the movie "Braveheart") comes to mind, great rescue attempts and stories of gritty survivals, such as the coal miners in Chile. 

Yet, courage today also represents emotional and psychological overcoming of fear:  Going for what you really want in life, saying "I love you" to those you care about, saying "No" to bullies.

When you have courage, you live with power, have more love, and are happier and more successful. 

In today's podcast, you will learn the secrets of Courage: 

1. 1. DO YOUR RESEARCH: Get comfortable with the anxiety-producing situation. Drive to the job interview location; practice your speech with supportive friends.
2. STEP OUT OF COMFORT ZONE: Do something different: Try that exotic restaurant you’ve been anxious about trying; say “Hello” to the person you want to meet.
3. SEE CHALLENGE AS FUN: See the pressure situation as a way to learn and grow—enjoy yourself.
4. BUILD COURAGE SUPPORT NETWORKS: Associate with confident, positive, loving, and courageous people. Find a Courage Mentor (from history or present time) and emulate them.
5. THINK OF HOW YOU CAN GIVE: Think of the people who will benefit from your intelligent risk-taking (starting a family or business, switching to a new career).
6. HAVE A COURAGE BURST: Think that you will be insanely courageous for only 30 seconds: apologize to a friend, ask an attractive person out for coffee, tell someone you love them. It’s only 30 seconds—you can do it.
7. BUILD YOUR COURAGE MUSCLES DAILY: Take a small social and emotional risk every day (say “No” to what you don’t want, ask for what you want, negotiate something).

By the way, social courage is an important element of courage: extending yourself socially; meeting new people, fostering your existing relationships with honesty and loving energy.

Take the Social Courage Challenge this week: Come join us and meet new friends at the "Valentine's Masquerade" Social Mixer this Thursday 2/14/19 at 7PM at "Decades" in Anaheim. Practice your social skills as you wear a mask and meet quality people based on their personality type. Register on Eventbrite ($10.00): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/find-your-soul-mate-at-the-valentines-day-dating-masquerade-tickets-54611749212

It’s a very simple formula once you think about it: Develop courage and achieve your dreams. 

 

 

 

FIND YOUR SOUL MATE AT THE DATING MASQUERADE

THE POWER OF POSITIVE RESOLUTIONS: HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

 

With the new year now in full swing, our thoughts turn to our goals and dreams for this year and how we can accomplish them.  The truth is that only about 11% of people keep their resolutions permanently, yet there is a way for you to be part of that 11%.  

To be successful in reaching your goals, and keeping your resolutions for the New Year, you need to finetune your Willpower--your ability to do what you want to do, and not do what you don't want to do.  Here are some ways to increase your discipline and one-point focus so you can achieve what you desire this year, whether it’s in your finances, career, relationships, health, or happiness: 

*Remove Temptations:  Toss those potato chips (if you're on a diet), turn off your social media notifications (if you're hooked on checking them). Decide that you will eliminate temptations before you act upon them.

*Develop Micro-Habits:  Start small when you develop good habits. Floss one tooth; workout 15 minutes a day, go to bed 15 minutes earlier to get a good night's sleep. You will find that that by taking small steps, you will have more energy and motivation to increase the time and effort you invest in your new goal (now, you floss all your teeth; workout 1 hour; go to bed 1 hour earlier). 

*Write a Letter to Your Future Self:  This is a powerful exercise. Write a "self-compassion" letter to your future self, telling it how you are taking good care of you now, so you will thrive in the future (10, 20, or 30 years later). Tell your future self how you are exercising and eating healthy now to avoid future health problems. How you are choosing the right career and romantic partner (and nurturing the relationship), so you can be happy in the future. 

*Choose Disciplined Friends:  Develop friendships with people who are highly motivated, disciplined, and positive--people who want to help make a difference in the world. You will be inspired by their example and will build a positive alliance with them to help yourself and others. 

*Prioritize Your Energies:  We have a bank of willpower that can be exhausted, and then needs to be recharged. As a result, it's wise to allocate your energy for things that are important.  In life, there are four categories of tasks:  1. Important and Urgent (you're having a heart attack--make sure you prevent it with good health habits). 2. Important and not Urgent (spending time with your loved ones--this is where you should put most of your energy). 3. Urgent, but not Important (we are distracted by phone calls and emails when we should be focused on important things), and 4. Not urgent, not Important (excessive use of social media; too much TV watching--these things can relax you at times, but usually are a waste of time and energy--cut them down).

Now you have some of the secrets of willpower.  Practice these techniques daily, and you will soon find yourself getting closer to achieving your goals and desires for this year. And, remember, that Love, in many forms--loving yourself, others, and a higher nature--is the best goal of all. 

 

 

 

PATIENCE POWER: HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

HAPPILY EVER AFTER: BREAKING THROUGH TO THE RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR DREAMS: SPECIAL GUESTS: BESTSELLING AUTHORS AND 50 YEAR HAPPILY MARRIED THERAPIST COUPLE: LINDA AND CHARLIE BLOOM

We loved having Linda and Charlie Bloom on Love University--a wonderful happily married couple for over 50 years, and two licensed therapists, as well. 

 

These bestselling authors and lifetime partners enlighten us by busting through the myths of love and marriage and teaching us the secrets of love.  

 

Love Myth #1:  You feel loving all the time when you're married.

Myth Buster #2:  You still love them, despite being angry or sad, because you find the common ground in the relationship.

Love Myth #2: All differences must be resolved in the relationship.

Myth Buster #2:  Its OK to have unresolved differences in a relationship. Differences may even strengthen the marriage (each partner can learn something new) as long as each partner respects the other.

Love Myth #3: If you loved me, I don't need to ask for what I want.

Myth Buster #3: It’s important to ask for what you want. The key is to have an atmosphere of acceptance and tolerance as each person shares their desires with their partner.   

Love Myth #4:  Love means never having to say, "You're Sorry."

Myth Buster #4:  Keep the word "I'm sorry" at your fingertips, as you apologize sincerely if you hurt your partner. These powerful words can relieve great stress in a relationship.

 

Other secrets of a successful relationships and happy marriage include:

 

*Give Your Best Energy to Your Relationship

*See Your Relationship as a Living Entity

*Happy couples are slightly delusional—they see their partner in a positive light, even though doing so may be a little unrealistic.

*Love is not 50-50:  It could be 90-10, with one partner carrying the weight for a while. Then, it reverses, and the other partner gives 90%.  It evens out in the long-term.

 

Listen in as you learn the secrets of great relationships and marriages.  

 

 

 

 

 

The Laws of Likeability: How To Win Friends And Get The Results You Want, With Special Guest: Forbes' Top Rated Networker, Michelle Tillis Lederman

Do you want to win friends and influence people in the new millennium? Now there’s a way to increase your likeability factor and get the results you want. 

 

Everyone wants to work with, and do business with, someone they like.  There are Laws of Likeability that can help you connect with people better and achieve your goals while helping other people achieve their’s.  To be Likeable means that people like being around you and there is a sense of trust and ease of conversation.

 

Here are some of the Laws of Likeability, courtesy of our friend of Love University (and guest), Forbe’s top negotiator, Michelle Tillis Lederman:

 

*Like Yourself First:  Before others can like you, you need to like yourself. Mentally focus on your positive and pleasing qualities. Maybe you’re compassionate, witty, or have a great sense of humor. Whatever talent you have, focus on developing them and sharing them with others.

 

*Law of Curiosity: Be genuinely interested in other people. Ask them questions about their dreams, goals, and accomplishments.  People like someone who is genuinely interested in them.  The more you want to know about them, the more they will want to know about you and what you desire in life.

 

*Law of Reflective Listening:  When you listen to other people, listen attentively and repeat back some of what they say to you.  If they say, “I had a tough day at work,” you can say, “Work can be pretty tough, sometimes.” As long as you are sincere, reflective listening shows the person that you genuinely care about what they’re going through.

 

*Law of Similarity:  People like those who they feel are similar to them. When you talk to someone, accentuate your similarities. Maybe, you both went to the same school, or you like the same hobby or food.  Ask questions and seek to establish common conversational ground to increase your likeability and connect better with others.  

 

*Law of Cheerful Giving:  People love those who are generous and give from an open heart. Make it a habit to help others without expecting anything in return. Help a homeless person, volunteer at church, give to charity. Help a coworker, listen to a friend, do a favor for a business associate. When you give with a sense of love and generosity, you will not only increase your likeability, but also the likelihood that other people (or the Universe) will return the favor back to you.

If you practice these Laws of Likeability, you will attract good people into your life and prosper in your career or business. You will also help more people along the way and have a great time in the process. 

SPECIAL GUEST: BEST-SELLING PSYCHOLOGIST HENDRIE WEISINGER: HOW TO BE RELAXED IN A PRESSURE-FILLED WORLD

Are you under pressure?  In our time-crunched, technology-driven, results-obsessed society, many of us feel psychological pressure to perform at the highest level, even when we don’t feel like it.  Now there’s a way to reduce your pressure, enjoy life more, and get better results.

 

Recently, we had our friend, Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, two times New York Times bestselling author and performance psychologist on Love University, and we learned the secrets of handling psychological pressure so can live a full and happy life.

 

Here are some tips for handling pressure courtesy of Dr. Weisinger, whether it’s related to school, work, career, business, relationships, or your personal life:

 

*See Pressure as a Fun Challenge:  Don’t be intimidated by a pressure situation (asking your dream person out on a date; going for the job you really want; making a speech or presentation). Instead think of it as a fun learning experience in which you get to learn about yourself and grow as a person. Even if you get turned down for the date or the job (or if the speech wasn’t perfect), you have practiced going for what you want, and you will eventually succeed.

 

 

*Recall Past Successes: Make a habit of thinking back to those times when you did succeed, whether it was in your career, relationship, or personal goals. When you focus on your past successes, you will anchor that winning, positive feeling of joy and confidence into your mind. As a result, you will have less trepidation and anxiety, and more confidence and self-belief, about your ability to achieve your present goals, even when you face pressure or obstacles in your path.

 

*Go for Micro-Successes:  If you haven’t had much success in your life in a particular area (relationships, money, happiness), aim for micro-successes—small wins or accomplishments toward your goal. If you’re shy, smile at others and get a smile back. If you’re fearful of public speaking, practice speaking before supportive friends. If you feel anxious about quitting your job and starting a new business, do the new business part-time as you build results and profits. When you experience these micro-successes, you will start to feel more confident and motivated, and you will be able to take the next step for your goal, despite the pressure you may face (fear of failure, for example).

 

 

*Think Optimistically: “There’s Plenty of Fish in the Sea”:  Instead of overstressing the importance of a particular goal or activity, realize that you will have many more opportunities to succeed in the future. If  things aren’t working out for you, you can always find another date, job, business opportunity, leisure activity, and even social circle. Keep an open and optimistic mind that you can always do better, have more, and be more—this optimistic mindset will take the “do or die” pressure off you as you realize that you will always have another opportunity to succeed as long as you are alive.

 

THE MILLIONAIRE MIND: YOUR ROUTE TO RICHES

 

 

 

Would you like to have the Millionaire Mind—a mindset of riches, abundance, and prosperity?  Now you can by following these simple steps:

 

Create Your Own Money Story: Many people have a fear or scarcity money story. They say to themselves phrases like, “I will never have enough money.”  To attract financial and material prosperity into your life, you need to change your story into one of abundance and wealth. Write down and repeat to yourself: “I have all the money I need to help myself, my family, and others.” Say this to yourself (or out loud) every day until it becomes a part of your waking consciousness.

   

Visualize Your Money Story:  Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine that money and all types of precious metals and treasures are filling up your room, as well as the rooms of your loved ones and neighbors. Take a deep breath as you smell the extravagance and luxury of riches, money, and abundance.  Experience the pleasure and joy of being able to use money to grow in life as well as to contribute to the lives of others.  Write down your money goals and create a vision board—complete with pictures of what you want (cars, house, vacations, experiences, helping others). Feel that you already have them.

 

Act on Your Money Story:  Now that you have a firm vision of what you want, take action to accumulate wealth.  Follow the 10-10-80 rule. Put aside your first 10% to give to charity or your church, the next 10% to save and invest, then live off the remaining 80%.  Find an outline platform that automatically deducts money from your account to invest—that way you will invest every week and grow your money without thinking too much about it. Resolve that you will acquire the education, knowledge, skills, connections, and resources to reach your financial or business dream. Resolve that you will not give up until you have achieved the financial security you desire for yourself and your loved ones. Also, realize that the more you give money to help others, the happier you will feel (research-proven), and the more likely you are to receive money and prosperity in return.

 

As you bring more material wealth and riches in your life, you will realize that the main purpose of money is to enrich the lives of those you love and care about. Bottom line: Love is the greatest riches of all.

 

LOVING-KINDNESS AND COMPASSION: YOUR ROUTE TO A JOY-FILLED EXISTENCE

To be compassionate means to help relieve the suffering of others.  We start by being compassionate with ourselves, loving ourselves and forgiving ourselves for any mistakes or errors we have made. Once we do this, we can direct our compassion outwardly to others.

Here are ways to exercise your compassion muscles on a daily basis:

*Practice daily gratitude: Think of the things you are grateful for.

*See Kindness as a strength: Be firm when you need to be, but don’t be afraid to be kind to others.

*Recognize the commonalities between yourself and others: We all want to increase our happiness and reduce our suffering.

*Practice empathy: Put yourself in the shoes of others.

*Give as if you are the receiver:  Imagine that you are receiving the gift you are giving—with joy and gratitude.

*Go out and help those who are hurting and lonely: Help the wounded, listen attentively to someone, give practical help.

 

If you practice compassion on a daily basis, you will be on your way to a joy-filled existence.

 

 

THE POWER OF POSITIVE KARMA: ATTRACTING THE RESULTS YOU WANT

Attract Your Deepest Desires with Positive Karma: Overflowing your life with kindness, compassion, and goodness will trigger The Law of Cause and Effect. Doing so can change your life as you bring positive results in your relationships, career, finances, health, and personal happiness. Be kind today and receive kindness tomorrow.  

AMAZING GUEST: DR. DONALD HOFFMAN, COGNITIVE SCIENTIST, OVER 2 MILLION TED TALK LISTENERS: WHY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS NOT REAL

SPECIAL BONUS GUEST: DR. JOHN TAMIAZZO, TRANSCENDENTAL PSYCHOLOGIST: HOW TO LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE

RECLAIM YOUR SPIRIT WITH THE POWER OF SOLITUDE

UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVE GENIUS: 7 SMART WAYS INCREASE YOUR CREATIVITY

SPECIAL GUEST: GREGG STEINBERG: EMOTIONAL TOUGHNESS: HOW TO BE STRONG WHEN LIFE GETS HARD